The Best of The Rusty Nut 2005

This was the innagural year for The Nut (originally Satori Designs). As we close out this Two thousand and fifth year of alot of people's Lord, I wanted to give a tip of the hat to my personal favorite posts so far. Feel free to let me know which post is your favorite either in this list or elsewhere within The Nut's pages. Happy New Year all and thanks for stopping by! 1- Aspen Quote #4 2- HNT #5 The Lava Lamp 3- Blogging Ethics 4- I Have So Much to Teach 5- Just a Coincidence 6- Punkd's Punk Gets Punkd 7- Potter's Cabin 8- Blind Date 9- The Last Laugh 10- Preparing for a Marathon

Raise Your Hand If...

Raise your hand if you would take a condiment (hot sauce, etc) off a restaurant table home with you if you absolutely loved the brand and it wasn't available for sale anywhere else.

From the 'Honey' Archives

So, a few weeks ago my boss, Melaine, hands me a folder with a few pictures in it. She asks if I can scan them, touch them up and put them on a disc for her. "No problem" I says as I open the folder to see what I have to work with. "Is this YOU???" I ask. I know it is. I can see the resemblence. "When was this?" Turns out this was her about 35 years ago. Now up until a few weeks ago if you had asked me who the most beautiful woman you have ever seen, I would have answered 'Michelle Philips' from The Mamas & The Papas circa 1966 but my boss circa 1970 comes in a very close second!! This, fellow bloggers, is my ideal looking woman (no offense sweety!). I have yet to look at the woman who signs my paychecks in the same way since. What a CUTIE!! *I asked my boss if I could take a pic of her to post alongside this one to "demonstrate the ravages of time". She didn't find it particularly amusing. I guess my humor only works on the net.

You Know You've 'Made It' When...

Last year I was asked by their tour manager to do a concert poster for the band Soulive. It was my project from start to finish. Even the pics were mine (taken at the Asheville show November 2004). I signed 50 copies and they were sold at the show. It came back to me that it was their fastest selling one they had had up to that point. I collect concert posters and it was this particular art medium that inspired me into the graphic design field. So I go onto Ebay from time to time and see what new stuff is out there. Well, it was a few months ago I came across my very own piece up for auction. It was one of the fifty I had signed and it was advertised as such. It was cool to me to see "Soulive Poster signed by artist" up there. I didnt get a chance to see what it went for. But the high bid at the time was $30. It probably closed for not much more than that. I wish I had saved the page or done a screen save of it. Oh well. More to come right? And if you havent checked out Soulive you need to!! Absolutely stellar mind bending Jazz Funk! At a show like this is where youll see me grinning ear to ear the whole time!

Viva la Resolution!!!

I think I have never managed to make a New Year's Resolution with real conviction and follow it through. I've vowed in years passed to run a marathon, create a regular workout routine, get a better job, become vegan (im almost there!), etc. But I don't think I have ever stuck to my guns. This year is different!!! Why? Because I am here and now sharing it with all of you!! I want at any point over the next year for anybody reading this to call me out on it. Ask me in an email or out in the open via comments how I am doing with my resolution. Knowing that I have everybody watching me will help me stick with it. I think one of my strengths is my honesty. I wont lie about it. If I have failed I will humbly say so when asked. Then I will try to start all over again. Furthermore, I invite anyone else to join me in this endeavor. What good is having a cyber family if they're not going to assist you in growing as a person? Anyone who wants to leave a comment here with their New Year's Resolution out on the table for everyone to see is welcome to join my challenge. Remember: Failure is not in the falling down, its in the not getting back up. My New Year's Resolution: I will stop chewing ice! Don't laugh! This is probably the hardest habit I have to break. Anyone else out there who is an ice chewer knows how absolutely next to impossible it is to stop. Place a kitten on my lap I want to pet it, put a frisbee in my hand I have to throw it, shove a breast in my face I need to... well, anyway... put a piece of ice in my mouth and I have no choice but to crunch it. And it is horrific on your teethes enamel!! I have always been an ice chewer and will forever be a recovering one. If there were support groups for such a thing I would be there "Hi, my name is Brico and I am an ice chewer". It is time to stop! I will need all the help I can get on this!!! Wish me luck! So, who wants to share their resolution? Anyone?

Happy Birthday Jesus!

"Where ones treasure is there also is his heart." Jesus "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight" Santa

Brico Gets an 'F'

One of the Characteristics of others that I am most inspired by and in awe of is that of compassion and charity. This is what I would most like to improve in myself and foster in Aspen. I don't consider myself particularly charitable. I wish I was! I have the deepest respect and admiration for everyday people who spend their spare time at nursing homes, soup kitchens, women shelters, etc. I rarely talk about the importance of such actions and approach to life because I have no room (zero, zilch, nada) to talk on the subject. And I refuse to be one of those people like Belly's ex, who talk a good game but cant walk the walk. So I remain silent. But I wanted to let everyone know that I disappoint myself. If I could instill any quality in Aspen it would be compassion and charity. I couldn't give a care what her 'religion' or lack thereof is. As long as she had those qualities I would be more than proud of the job I did as a father. So imagine the tear that formed in my eye last year before the holidays when she came to me having seen something on the news about orphans and orphan homes. She asked if we (me and her) could take some of her Christmas books* to a nearby orphanage and spend some time reading to the children because (and I get choked up even typing this!) "those poor kids have no parents to read them Christmas stories". She had just turned 6 at the time. If I had had a cup in which to store my pride it would have been overflowing. Did we end up doing it? No. Why? Because daddy didn't take the time to look up the number and address of a nearby home!! What a blown opportunity!!! What an impressionable age she is at. I had every chance to forever instill in her a sense of responsibility, compassion, charity, etc. And instead my lack of actions told her either directly or indirectly that her thoughts of giving were not that important. I know there is time and ways to fix my error, but I still look in the mirror and think about that and am truly disappointed at my failure. I like to think that as a father I have met my repsonsibilities fairly well. But that is one huge red mark on my report card of fatherhood. Fix it Brico... Fix it. *yes, I (and she) celebrate Christmas. Though no longer 'Christian' I will always have the deepest respect for the man known as Jesus and his teachings. Celebrating the birth of this spiritual master is a tradition which will always remain close to my heart. Aspen is not Buddhist. I try to keep her from labeling herself as anything at this point until she has had an opportunity to study the different religions and approaches to spirituality and make an educated decision as to which path she feels is best for her and why.

Fears Friday (The Guest Host* Addition)

So is everyone up to date as to whats going on here? Our beloved host of Fears Friday (and HNTer extrordinaire) whose name is not be mentioned by her request (for fear of Googling) and whom I will heretofore refer to as Femom has had to change sites. She asked me to continue Fears Friday in her stead. I hope I am up to the task, I usually turn and run at responsibility. *If this is permanent or for or a week or three Im not sure. Someone will keep you (and me for that matter) updated. At any rate, here is week one of The Rusty Nut guest hosting Fears Friday. A button has been created but Ill wait before giving it out to see 'whats up' so to speak. And you all know the rules right. If not, read what everyone else is typing and you'll get the idea. In the spirit of Femom Ill share my fear first. I am afraid of love. That doesnt mean I dont fall in love. I do. I am. But I'm afraid of it. Maybe everyone is to a degree. I dont know. But I'm just hear to admit it for myself. There, I put it all on the line for this one. Now, nobody better leave me hanging!

8 Seconds of Really Pissed Offedness (followed by a good chuckle)

I was listening to the radio on the way into work this morning as I am want to do. Then on comes one of those jewelry commercials. You know, the generic kind for diamonds in general where a woman with a low sultry in heat kind of voice seductively tells you (in code) how much your lover will rock your world that night if you get her a stone for x-mas? But this one caught my attention. The woman is addressing women rather than men this time. And her pitch includes the line... "Give him something that tells him that with him you are everything and without him you are less than nothing..." NO SHIT!!! I almost rear-ended the car in front of me! I slammed on the gas and the brakes at the same time!! "Oh my bloggy peeps (as Binsk calls them) are gonna hear about this!" My brain growls outloud. I am livid yet in disbelief at the same time. I could NOT have heard that right!! The words echo through my brain over and over as time is suspended momentarily. Then she continues "Nothing says that you would readily marry into his disfunctional family all over again like a..." "What the hell????" I am officially thinking that Kalani's fear of black holes is now looking completely sane compared to this marketing pitch. "What kind of stone is going to say all this?" My mind is trying to ascertain if I'm really awake or not. This cant be real! then she finishes her sentence "... like a Hornwall's Honey Baked Ham on your Dinner table this holiday season." Okay, now THAT was funny!!! And I was ashamed for not having seen that a mile away! I'm in sales and design marketing afterall. I took my feet off the gas and brakes and resumed a steady pace as the smoke begins to clear from the 10 car pile up behind me. "Yeah, I'm blogging this today! Screw HNT!"

HNT Brico Clause Edition

The 3 HNTers on whom I bestow gifts this 'holiday' season are Kalani, Addict and Monkey. This is Kalani's gift. It has surfaced that she has about the most irrational fear that one could possibly think of. Black Holes. Erik is welcome to dispute me on this but I think it is more likely that a person living in Kansas would be eaten by sharks in his living room than it is for anyone living in Illinois to somehow get swallowed by a black hole and have to live in a silent cold void for all eternity. So this is for you sister. Use it sparingly! ))<>(( This is Addict's gift. Once I started wooing her daughter it became known to me that Addict has a tendency of rushing to the phone and calling everyone in her extended family to check on their health status each time she hears ambulance or fire truck sirens go past her place. Hopefully this police/emergeny scanner will help her sleep a little better at night. Or at the very least, allow others who she would be calling at 3am to remain asleep through the night. This is Monkey's gift. She is currently pregnant with Trout Jr (I was just the inspiration/catalyst for her getting pregnant and not the impregnator himself -but I'll take what I can get). Yet my dear Monkey is getting more and more irritated with her surroundings as the hormonal imbalances set in (this is evident from her posts). The problem is that Monkey enjoys her sexual escapades all the way through her 3rd trimester and right into the birthing room. So this cattle prod will help her with both controlling those who get under her ever more irritable skin and to subdue others who might need restraining in order to satisfy her 'womanly needs'. peace And to all the other HNters out there Happy Holidays!! may you find pics of your favorite HNTer in your stocking this year (or the HNTer themself!)

Ten Foods I Think are Icky

1- lima beans 2- mustard 3- dill pickles 4- any kind of salad dressing 5- anything that ever had a mother 6- califlower 7- olives 8- Boiled spinach 9- figgy pudding 10- green eggs and ham (i do not like them...)

Now THIS is Stealing! (10 Questions)

I saw this on Femi's too. I believe she got the idea from Os. I will answer the first 10 questions asked of me (one question per blogger!). This is a daring one for anyone to do, especially if you're committed to being honest and up front. No person or question is barred, but out of respect for other bloggers with whom I am close I may edit answers to questions of a certain nature. And I have a rule too: Criticising & Analyzing the answers is allowed and welcomed IF you do this same post yourself. 0 Questions Left (sorry!) edit: dale and sasha felt the need to critique/contradict/question my response to a question. they therefore are required to do this post now themselves. thanks for being good sports guys!

Repressed Memories

I got this idea from Summer and Dale. If youre reading this, chances are you and I dont know eachother. We have no real 'history' together. But here is your chance to think back and create a fake memory of you and I. It can be from 1 year ago or from 30 years ago. It can be a good memory or a bad one. It can be vivid or vague. Just make up the best memory you can of you and I and leave it as a comment for me. 'Cause chances are, I dont remember it and would like to. So join in the fun and help me recapture my past wont you?

Raise Your Hand if...

Raise your hand if you have something in your house ordinarily in open view, that you put away when you have company.

Call Me Bricoclause

So one of the things that Aspen asked The Jolly Guy for this year was a 'sleigh bell'. Daddy (AKA The Jolly Guy) looked high and low for an item that would fit the definition of a 'sleigh bell' but failed to encounter one. What he did find was a craft store that sold , among other items, jingle bells. "Hmmm" thought Daddy, "What is the difference between a jingle bell and a sleigh bell?" I had NO idea... so i winged it (or is the past tense of 'to wing' wung? - anyway). I envisioned what I thought would fit the definition of a 'sleigh bell' and tracked down various arts and crafts items that could be fabric glued together to resemble that image. These are the items purchased And 37 1/2 hours of intensive labor, a small carpet fire, and 3 bandaids later you have The Jolly Guy's interpretation of a 'sleigh bell' The ends tie together as to form a bracelette. A bracelette that once was worn on the left rear hoof of Dasher (or so the story goes).

Ten Interesting Bits I Learned About Duff While Listening to Her on the Radio

Sunday I had to travel to Columbia, SC to do a photoshoot. I contacted my cyber friend Duff to see if she was interested in grabbing lunch. Fortunately for her she had the valid excuse of having to be on the air the entire time I was in town. But I was graciously invited to listen to her on the air. She didn't even make me guess as to what frequency her broadcast is on (104.7). So I asked for her request line phone number so I could give a shout out to her once I was in range of her beautiful voice. She actually refused to give it to me. Instead she promised to announce the number with great frequency on the air during the hours that I would be listening. About 15 miles into my trip 104.7 turned from The 12 Days of X-mas to some Eminem tune. I was in range! And not once during my 90 minutes of listening to really bad music did I hear her give out the number! Instead, when I was done with my shoot I tracked down a phone book. Thank goodness FCC regulations require she announce the call letters every 15 minutes! We had what I think was a fun 10 minutes of chatting (it probably seemed ALOT longer to her). This list is from my many notes I took while driving into town that day. 1- Duff wants a shetland pony for x-mas now that shes figured out one will hold her body weight. 2- Duff wants her tooth whitened. 3- Duff has a small apartment, though it is big enough for a shetland pony. 4- Duff has to play really bad music all day long. (and listen to it too) 5- Duff has a very friendly voice. 6- Duff's phone is busy ALL the time. 7- Duff is proud that she can bat her baby blues and get whatever she wants. 8- Duff gets offended when her radio stalker stops stalking her. 9- Duff gives her s.o. gift cards to Frederick's rather than Best Buy. (clever huh?) 10- Duff never gives out her radio station's phone number when she knows I may be listening.

Stolen from A.D.D.I.C.T. (how ironic is that?)

I'm not going to try to argue with that... Its eerie how accurate these things can be some times isn't it!

Someone Tell Me What Was I Thinking!!

And with that, he threw his head through the monitor. If there was an 'Irony Meter' on this site, the needle would have just hit 11 and then broke off.

Have a Good Laugh!

Duff thought I should post a pic of me back when I had hair. I have been shaving my head for a number of years now so I had to really dig back in the archives. This is from '88 freshman year of college. I havent changed a bit have I? And remember: Im always full of surprises!

A Challenging Inquiry

Recently it was asked of me "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" That is a question that for me has always been a loaded one. A question you feel compelled to answer as how you think the asker would want you to answer or how perhaps your father or mother would hope you would answer or even how you yourself wish you could honestly answer. Yet I wonder how often does one really answer this inquiry with full honesty. Im going to try to here... Let me say first that I rarely ask myself this type of question. I prefer to live my life as it goes, not 'planned out'. Im not saying that's good or bad, that's just me. In fact there are often times I wish I wasn't like that. I wish I did have a better 'plan'. I know it would behoove me to have my ducks in more of a row so to speak. But I don't. Why? Could it be because I'm lazy? Irresponsible? A slacker? I suppose. I've never been an overachiever by any means. But I think it's because I'm content. Ask anyone who really knows me and they'll use that word to describe me. I don't have a huge 'ambition' and 'drive' in life because I enjoy where I'm at. And I think my Buddhist philosophy and time spent at the Monastery helped instill that characteristic. I don't see myself sweating and stressing and even slaving away a good part of my life to get to some point where I can sit back and say "There! Now I am where I wanted to be!" when I'm already pretty darn comfortable where I am. I look forward to each day where I'm at today. I make enough for my humble lifestyle and still put more aside for emergencies and future unknowns. I have a small graphic design business that isn't my main source of income (yet?) but certainly allows me to challenge myself and stay sharp. I stay physically active and fit with my hobbies. I don't abuse drugs or alcohol. I am a responsible father, though I am very aware that I can always be better. I treat my fellow sentient beings with kindness and respect. I try to remain aware of the 8fold path as much as possible. And I go to bed each night the same content person I was when I woke up that morning. Secondly, I want to offer my thoughts on the definition of 'success'. The dictionary defines success as "The favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors" and "The attainment of wealth, position, honors or the like" and finally "outcome". That final one word definition is it for me. My thinking is that behind all of our endeavors to attain our wealth and position lies a truer desired outcome than just that attainment. It is to be satisfied or the word I prefer to use 'content'. I think the reason that I have often had trouble being honest with the question "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" is because the inquirer is trying to determine the degree of success I will have down the road. And the fact is that I most likely don't define success in the same terms that the inquirer does. I don't define success by how much I have in my savings, how many vacations I took this year or how many people work beneath me. I define success by how content I am. And I think I'm pretty darn successful. Though my stepfather, a very accomplished man in his field of engineering with Lockheed Martin who works hard and has who knows how much put aside for retirement, would look at me as not successful at all. My stepfather has to be one of the most miserably unhappy and dissatisfied people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Though he has always had a plan for 5 years down the road and has always gotten to that point and beyond without fail, I don't think he has ever thought about that truer desired outcome... Being content. So I guess to answer the question honestly: Where I see myself in 5 years is the same 'place' I am today. Because for me the 'where' in that question doesn't refer to a geographical point or a 'rung on the business ladder'. It refers to a state of being. I may be in Colorado, I may be in Canada, I may be a member of a design team for an ad agency or I may be in sales that has nothing to do with design. I see myself being a responsible father. I see myself making the income needed to satisfy my humble means. I see myself being physically healthy. And I see myself going to bed the same well adjusted person I was when I woke up that morning. In short, the 'where' that I see myself in is the 'where' that lies in being content. And that's my honest answer.

With a Lack of Anything Else to Post

Is it still 'stealing' if 1/4 of the blogs I visit have already done this? I just wanted to give Os a chance for revenge since one of my answers on his potentially threw his life into turmoil. And don't forget Fears Friday at Femi Mommy's! 01] I _____ Bricotrout. 02] Bricotrout is _____. 03] If I were alone in a room with Bricotrout, I would _____. 04] I think Bricotrout should _____. 05] Bricotrout needs _____. 06] I want to _____ Bricotrout. 07] Someday Bricotrout will ___. 08] Bricotrout reminds me of _____. 09] Without Bricotrout _____. 10] My memories of Bricotrout are _____. 11] Bricotrout can be _____. 12] The worst thing about Bricotrout is _____. 13] The best thing about Bricotrout is _____. 14] I am _____ with Bricotrout. 15] One thing I would like to know about Bricotrout is _____. 16] Bricotrout should go and _____. 17] Bricotrout _____ me.

Happy 7th Birthday, Little Miss Magic!

A theme song for your special day. JB sings these words far better than I ever could! You have been the biggest and most cherished 'event' in my life hands down. You remind me to check on you after you go to sleep every time I tuck you in. Sweetheart, if you only knew how many times I 'check on you' once youve drifted into your dreams... I will never stop checking on you. There is no way it was seven years ago today that your mother brought you into this world! I remember that moment like no other! And there isn't a highlite or milestone of yours since that I dont recall with tears of joy. Your first smile at me, the first time my mother took you in her arms, the first time I held you in the shower, my first diaper change, your first step, your first laugh, your first inoculation, your first loose tooth, your first birthday, and thousands more. You can now read on your own, cross the cul-de-sac by yourself, pour your own drinks, change the cd's in your stereo, brush your teeth to your timer, put your dishes away, load your games into your computer without help, tie your own shoes and do your own math homework. Youre getting bigger, older and wiser every day. While it may seem a loooooong time away for you, it will only be a blink of the eye for me before other boys will be wanting to take you out to dinner and taking you to the movies. The day will soon come when you will have your own place and I wont be able to 'check on you' as you drift asleep any longer. "Some day youre going to make up your own rhymes, someday youre going to learn how to fly." So forgive me sweetheart if I hold you a little tighter each year until that day comes. Happy Birthday my dear. I love you, I love you, I love you!

Raise Your Hand if...

Raise your hand if there is something in particular that you absolutely love about the holiday season.

I Have So Much to Teach... yet another given!

Don't give your blog address to an ex significant other!! Yes, bricotrout now has a cyber stalker of the worst kind and her blog username is 'Gnat'. So here's a brief history: Natalie Mcmahon of Minneapolis, MN and I were involved for about a year after being introduced by a mutual (now ex) friend. Natalie suffers from severe self image problems which manifests itself in self injurious behavior. To her credit she continuously maintains various treatment techniques to help her with her issues. We parted ways about 2 years ago because of a variety of issues (she had a big problem with my maintaining contact with Aspen's mother and she needed someone closer to her geographically). We remained cordial and were in phone contact about once a month. She would complain about her life and I would offer whatever advice I could. Up until last month she had been living with a guy whom she moved in with after she and I parted. According to her he left due to her unreasonable ongoing jealousy issues. A few months ago I gave Natalie my blog address and offered that she comment whenever she felt like it (look for the occasional comment by 'Gnat' in recent posts). I even assisted her a bit in getting her blog set up. I thought that getting to know some cyber friends who are going through similar struggles would be highly beneficial to her. Unfortunately, all Natalie ever seemed to use her blog presence for was to read my blog and comment occasionally. until this week... A few days ago I received an email from Natalie complaining that it was inconsiderate of me to not tell her that someone new had entered my life. She had seen Audra's post with the pictures of she and I together. Then Saturday morning there was a comment on my recent HNT pic that said something to the effect "I see you have a new actress for your movies now!! " You can deduce from that what you want. I quickly deleted the comment which stank of bitterness and jealousy. I then emailed her this "I THINK YOU NEED TO CALL ME!! Do not comment on my site or anyone else's I know until we talk! " I was livid (and people who know me will tell you I don't get ticked off very easily). This was the email response I got Saturday afternoon: "oh a little testy are we.......You can call me. Ihave never left any comments on anyone else's site but yours so don't go blaming me for other things!" This was in turn my response: "natalie, I am absolutely speechless natalie. I have never been anything but supportive of and a friend to you. im so sorry that your life is so miserable that you feel this attitude is justified. You disappoint me. and now you don't have the courage to call me. So be it, do not contact me again (phone, email, mail or commenting on my blog or on anyone else's about me). " So let me apologize ahead of time to Audra, Addict and anyone else who she may see fit to try to criticize or otherwise harass as a last ditch effort for attention in my life. And while I wish Natalie the best in getting her ongoing life struggles in order, wont you join me in keeping an eye out for that future "Gnat comment"? Well make a game of it! Upon the next time "Gnat" ignores my wishes and decides to leave a comment, lets see which of my friendly and respectful readers can spot it by commenting "Gnat on the wall!" first. You'll get an honorary mention! Let the craziness begin!

The Mystery Revealed

You may recall a few days ago I posted The Real Reason I'm Back. In that post the mystery cleavage presenter was adimant about remaining anonymous. It took alot of coaxing for me to get permission to post that picture of her and retell the story of that evenings email events. Everyone has their own limits as to how much they are willing to reveal and share about themselves. It was apparently groundbreaking for her to even send me that picture in the first place. Then it was another huge step for her to agree to let me share that pic with all of you. Since the time of that post two little things transpired by other bloggers: 1- the comment on my post left at 9:16pm (i cant link the specific comment apparently but please check it out) and 2- this post by sissy b's guy which made fun of me. Word of both of these got back to our dear cleavage revealing friend and she has once again decided to be daring! With her permission she has agreed to reveal her identity!!! (drum roll please!) The blogger who is credited for for single handedly bringing back the Rusty Nut to publication is none other than Wendy of the blog Wendy's World! Furthermore, she agreed to post a picture of herself on her site for 1 day only (something she has never done before!) to coincide with this post. I would ask that you venture over to Wendy's World and say hi. She deserves big props yet again for successfully stepping up to a challenge. Thanks again Wendy for all the laughs! What a long strange post its been! And I cant wait to see what picture(s) you will send me the next time I take a break!! ;)

Get Well Soon!

*my mothers daughter* fell ill last night and had to be rushed to the hospital by addict. she stayed overnight to undergo tests and is still there at the time of this posting. while what the problem is is still not known she is in quite a bit of pain and a little scared. im sure she would like to know she is in everybody's thoughts. you can drop her a well wish here or at addicts or at her site. update 10:30am EST: apparently her spleen is severely swollen but all tests thus far as to what it could be are coming back negative. she is scheduled to see a specialist sometime this morning. she has okayed me posting further updates here as they become available update 3:30pm EST: audra's been having stomach pains for several days. it built to the point last night where she couldnt continue. the specialist who saw her this morning had no immediate answers. she is scheduled to see a second specialist today. addict tells me that all of her lymph nodes are swollen (indicating an infection) but her white cell count is normal (indicating no infection). it appears she will have to remain in the hospital for a few more days until the problem can be determined. update 4:00pm EST: audra says (in a rather weak voice) "tell them (bloggers) that i'll be back on my feet in no time. they cant get rid of me that easily" and addict is taking jason (her son) to visit her this afternoon. update 7:30pm EST: audra's roommate came to visit her this afternoon. docs are still running tests. shell stay in the hospital again tonite. she is in a bit of pain and has finally agreed to take some medication to help with that. probably from here on out everyone who is interested can go to addicts site for updates. she will have been the one actually talking to the docs themselves and will have more acurate technical info. bottom line is she's still waiting for answers. audra extends thank yous to everyone who commented here. i read them to her over the phone and she truly appreciates it. get well soon honey!