A Challenging Inquiry

Recently it was asked of me "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" That is a question that for me has always been a loaded one. A question you feel compelled to answer as how you think the asker would want you to answer or how perhaps your father or mother would hope you would answer or even how you yourself wish you could honestly answer. Yet I wonder how often does one really answer this inquiry with full honesty. Im going to try to here... Let me say first that I rarely ask myself this type of question. I prefer to live my life as it goes, not 'planned out'. Im not saying that's good or bad, that's just me. In fact there are often times I wish I wasn't like that. I wish I did have a better 'plan'. I know it would behoove me to have my ducks in more of a row so to speak. But I don't. Why? Could it be because I'm lazy? Irresponsible? A slacker? I suppose. I've never been an overachiever by any means. But I think it's because I'm content. Ask anyone who really knows me and they'll use that word to describe me. I don't have a huge 'ambition' and 'drive' in life because I enjoy where I'm at. And I think my Buddhist philosophy and time spent at the Monastery helped instill that characteristic. I don't see myself sweating and stressing and even slaving away a good part of my life to get to some point where I can sit back and say "There! Now I am where I wanted to be!" when I'm already pretty darn comfortable where I am. I look forward to each day where I'm at today. I make enough for my humble lifestyle and still put more aside for emergencies and future unknowns. I have a small graphic design business that isn't my main source of income (yet?) but certainly allows me to challenge myself and stay sharp. I stay physically active and fit with my hobbies. I don't abuse drugs or alcohol. I am a responsible father, though I am very aware that I can always be better. I treat my fellow sentient beings with kindness and respect. I try to remain aware of the 8fold path as much as possible. And I go to bed each night the same content person I was when I woke up that morning. Secondly, I want to offer my thoughts on the definition of 'success'. The dictionary defines success as "The favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors" and "The attainment of wealth, position, honors or the like" and finally "outcome". That final one word definition is it for me. My thinking is that behind all of our endeavors to attain our wealth and position lies a truer desired outcome than just that attainment. It is to be satisfied or the word I prefer to use 'content'. I think the reason that I have often had trouble being honest with the question "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" is because the inquirer is trying to determine the degree of success I will have down the road. And the fact is that I most likely don't define success in the same terms that the inquirer does. I don't define success by how much I have in my savings, how many vacations I took this year or how many people work beneath me. I define success by how content I am. And I think I'm pretty darn successful. Though my stepfather, a very accomplished man in his field of engineering with Lockheed Martin who works hard and has who knows how much put aside for retirement, would look at me as not successful at all. My stepfather has to be one of the most miserably unhappy and dissatisfied people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Though he has always had a plan for 5 years down the road and has always gotten to that point and beyond without fail, I don't think he has ever thought about that truer desired outcome... Being content. So I guess to answer the question honestly: Where I see myself in 5 years is the same 'place' I am today. Because for me the 'where' in that question doesn't refer to a geographical point or a 'rung on the business ladder'. It refers to a state of being. I may be in Colorado, I may be in Canada, I may be a member of a design team for an ad agency or I may be in sales that has nothing to do with design. I see myself being a responsible father. I see myself making the income needed to satisfy my humble means. I see myself being physically healthy. And I see myself going to bed the same well adjusted person I was when I woke up that morning. In short, the 'where' that I see myself in is the 'where' that lies in being content. And that's my honest answer.