Brico Gets an 'F'

One of the Characteristics of others that I am most inspired by and in awe of is that of compassion and charity. This is what I would most like to improve in myself and foster in Aspen. I don't consider myself particularly charitable. I wish I was! I have the deepest respect and admiration for everyday people who spend their spare time at nursing homes, soup kitchens, women shelters, etc. I rarely talk about the importance of such actions and approach to life because I have no room (zero, zilch, nada) to talk on the subject. And I refuse to be one of those people like Belly's ex, who talk a good game but cant walk the walk. So I remain silent. But I wanted to let everyone know that I disappoint myself. If I could instill any quality in Aspen it would be compassion and charity. I couldn't give a care what her 'religion' or lack thereof is. As long as she had those qualities I would be more than proud of the job I did as a father. So imagine the tear that formed in my eye last year before the holidays when she came to me having seen something on the news about orphans and orphan homes. She asked if we (me and her) could take some of her Christmas books* to a nearby orphanage and spend some time reading to the children because (and I get choked up even typing this!) "those poor kids have no parents to read them Christmas stories". She had just turned 6 at the time. If I had had a cup in which to store my pride it would have been overflowing. Did we end up doing it? No. Why? Because daddy didn't take the time to look up the number and address of a nearby home!! What a blown opportunity!!! What an impressionable age she is at. I had every chance to forever instill in her a sense of responsibility, compassion, charity, etc. And instead my lack of actions told her either directly or indirectly that her thoughts of giving were not that important. I know there is time and ways to fix my error, but I still look in the mirror and think about that and am truly disappointed at my failure. I like to think that as a father I have met my repsonsibilities fairly well. But that is one huge red mark on my report card of fatherhood. Fix it Brico... Fix it. *yes, I (and she) celebrate Christmas. Though no longer 'Christian' I will always have the deepest respect for the man known as Jesus and his teachings. Celebrating the birth of this spiritual master is a tradition which will always remain close to my heart. Aspen is not Buddhist. I try to keep her from labeling herself as anything at this point until she has had an opportunity to study the different religions and approaches to spirituality and make an educated decision as to which path she feels is best for her and why.