Aspen's Quotes Page

Meet Aspen, my daughter, my purpose, my oxygen.
As does every child, from time to time Aspen lets loose with a brilliant truth, astute observation, or just plain funny comment. Here are a few of them...


This is the first Aspen Quote I haven't heard first hand. This was repeated to me by her 1st grade teacher last week.

"Hi, my name is Aspen. I am named after a tree, a leaf, a mountain and a beer."

Hmmm... Aspen Grace, always a good decision!


Aspen Quote #20

"Daddy, how long 'till dinner is ready? I'm starving, even if it is your chili that we're having."

hmmm, maybe she would prefer my castor oil surprise



"I love you more than...
well... I love you alot."

Okay, do you love me more than... spankings?



I come in to Aspen's room to give her a kiss goodnight as she's drifting off. As I'm leaving her room I hear
"Can I have just one more kiss?"
The sweetest words that a doting father could hope to hear. I return to her bedside and give her forehead another gentle kiss, knowing that days of such requests are soon to pass.
"Thanks, while you're here can you fill up my drink please?"



Aspen Quote #17

"Aspen, it's dinner time. What are you doing?"
"Going p-o-o-p"
...3 second pause...
"Um... 's' I guess"

Further details not necessary, thankyou.



"Daddy, are you famous?"
"Um... I don't think so."
"Well, you're famous to me."

no autographs please!

note1: were still collecting votes for the 'surprise contest runoff' a few posts below. if you havent voted, please do so now! this means YOU clivia!

note2: does anybody out there watch My Name is Earl? NBC thursday nights. best sitcome ever! i highly recomend it! i may start doing a quote from the show on friday's just to garner interest. anybody? somebody has to watch that! anybody?


Aspen Quote #15

(Aspen singing)
"Daddy and Aspen sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g."
"Actually, if you and I were sitting in a tree, I don't think we would be k-i-s-s-i-n-g'ing"

it was the extra 'ing' that cracked me up.


Aspen Quote #14

Aspen: "Dad, look at the wildflowers I caught!"
Me: (laughing a bit) "Caught or picked?"
Aspen: ""Um, 'caught'... why do you think they call them wildflowers?"

note: what she was actually picking were dandelions. i guess that makes her a big game hunter too? aha ha ha! where does she get it???


Aspen Quote #13

Last night I was reading to Aspen from Old Path, White Clouds (stories of The Buddha's life). It came to the point when it described a scene when a young disciple was having his head shaved for the first time... "He gave the razor to Rahula who completed the task of shaving Svasti's head."
Aspen responded "Ewwww!!" then there was a short pause before she looked up at me
"No offense dad."

ummm... none taken?


Aspen Quote #12

This morning I tell Aspen that we need to take her earings out soon and clean them.
She responds that she doesnt like them being taken out because it hurts.
I inform her that I can do it while she is asleep. Then I get an idea...
"I know!" I say excitedly and deviously "When youre asleep I'll put in earings with spiders on them so when you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror you'll see spiders on you and freak out!"
Aspen crosses her arms angrily "Daaaaaad! you KNOW I dont like jokes like that! Theyre not funny!"
Yet before I have time to react her eyes suddenly widen and her frown turns to a huge smile. She turns to me with the same excitement and enthusiasm in her voice that I had in mine only moments before.
"WAIT! We should do that to Audra!!" knowing full well that Audra has a paralyzing fear of spiders.


Aspen Quote #11; Audra Quote #2

I'm talking to my honey on the phone last night after she spent half her day at the Urgent Care getting her knee fixed. And I tell Aspen, who is quite fond of Audra as well "Aspen, Audra fell while ice skating yesterday and hurt her knee."
Aspen, chuckling "Ice is hard."
Audra (having heard Aspen over the phone) "Yes, thank you dear, I know that now."
Aspen "Tell her that next time she should wear knee pads. Maybe she should wear my elbow pads and helmet too."
Audra grumpily "Yeah, she's lucky she's cute."


Aspen Quote #10

The other night Aspen was saying hi to Audra on the phone...

Aspen "I miss you Audra. When are you coming back out here?"
Audra "I don't know sweety. Hopefully not too long. Things are kind of crazy out here right now."
Aspen (trying not to snicker and leaning away from me talking quieter so I can't hear) "Daddy says you're always cranky."

Note: i never said anything of the sort and for the record audra is very sweet and even tempered. if at any point in the past or in the future she is found to be 'cranky' it is most likely due to my own ill advised comments and inconsiderateness. i am making this statement on my own freewill and am not being coerced or pressured in any way. thankyou.


Aspen Quote #9

A few nights ago Aspen was finishing up her dinner (veggie burgers, baked beans, tater tots and salad) when she informed me that at about 2/3rds done she was pretty full and asked about dessert.
I told her if she was done she could have a piece of candy.
"Is that all?" she inquired somewhat disatisfied
"Well, if you eat the rest of your dinner you can have 2 scoops of ice cream"
She looks up at me suspiciously "What kind?"
"Chocolate" I reply
She promptly picks her spoon back up then replies with a fresh full mouth of beans "Oh, you shouldn't have gone there!"


Aspen Quote #8 (ever the keen observer)

Did you read that post previous to this? Read that first. I'll wait... Okay, last week I bought about 15 baby bananas in a bunch that I never got around to eating. Now a bunch of black bananas with yellow spots sit on my kitchen counter (because I never got around to tossing them out either it seems).
As I'm compiling that Ten Foods list you just read I'm trying to think of one last food that I don't like (note the cop out of green eggs and ham). So I employ Aspen's help. "Aspen, what is a food that daddy doesn't like?" She's in the kitchen getting herself something to drink at the time.
"You don't like meat"
"Yeah, I got that one"
"You don't like dill pickles"
"Yep, I got that one too"
"You apparently don't like bananas"


Aspen Quote #7

"Dad, want to take a test to see if you're stupid? I bet you can pass."

edit: a few of you actually wanted the test and the results (yes i DID dare to take it!). here you go...
Q 1: What color is the sky?
Q2: What color are your eyes?
Q3: What is your favorite food?
Q4: How old are you?
Q5: What was the first question I asked?
(for my answers and the correct answers, go to the comments. NO CHEATING!)


Aspen Quote #6

Aspen and I got a gift for Audra and her son Jason. Aspen wrapped it then made a cute a little card which featured 4 drawings. One of her, one of a teddy bear, another of a cat and...
yes, according to my 'loving' daughter that last drawing that accompanies my dear Audra's x-mas gift is none other than a depiction of me getting struck by lightning!
You can't make this stuff up people!!!
Note the 'x'ed out eyes complete with classic animator's depiction of a dead person: the extruding tongue. My concern is is this a vision, preminition or other such trait or just a quirky sense of humor? Either way, she didnt get it from MY side of the family.


Aspen Quote #5

A few weeks ago I'm sitting at the computer minding my own business and I hear Aspen and Audra on the other side of the room whispering and giggling for a few seconds. The next thing I know I feel something being put down the back of my shirt. I hear more giggling from Aspen's direction.
I reach in to get out whatever had been placed down my shirt.
"Aspen, are you telling Audra to put things down my back?" I ask
"No, I told her just to hit you!"
Hmmm, must be that Oregon mentality rubbing off.


Aspen Quote #4

Tonight Aspen created her own halloween costume. A dragon. It's very cool. When it was done she required my help to be under it as the tail to test it out.
As she walked around I tried to go back and forth a bit to create a waving effect.
Apparently she didn't like this effect, and says
"Daddy, I dont know what your body's doing but can you stop it and try to do what my body is doing?"
Great, six years old and shes already sounding like all of my old lovers!


Aspen Quote #3

I'm from Colorado. I live in N. Carolina. NASCAR is VERY big here. Few people in Colorado could care less about the 'sport' (I use that term loosely) myself included.
Summaries of the recent race were on local news the other night.
Aspen sees this and asks "Daddy, what number is your favorite?"
"What number is my favorite? What do you mean?"
She nods to the tv at the race on the screen and asks again "What number is your favorite?"
Oh yuck, I think to myself. I have to fain interest. Can't be dismissive lest I hurt her feelings. Quick think of an actual car number!
"Oh", I reply "I like #24 because he wins alot" (You would have to live in a dumpster to not know this fact here in NC, whether you're into NASCAR or not). The taste of having to say a number in reference to my favorite NASCAR driver is worse than cold lima beans. In fact, in my opinion there is no better place to start with solving the worlds energy problems than by eliminating this passtime (and its followers for that matter). My words hang in the air like the stench of genocide.
"Oh" she says as she turns her attention back to the art that she was creating.
She seems to have no further comment on the subject, so I ask "Why? What is your favorite number?"
Without looking up from what she is doing she replies dismissively...
"Yeah, I'm not really into that. Its just silly."


Aspen Quote #2

I have been teaching Aspen the finer aspects of chess for a while now. Among other things, she now understands the various moves that a pawn makes (when it can advance 2 squares, how it attacks, etc). So we're winding up the night last weekend with a game. By the third move I had let her advance her pawn into attack position of one of mine. (I want you all to know that I saw this attack coming - I was not blindsided!) Next move she takes my lone pawn. I therefore act (yes, act) like I hadn't seen that coming. She looks up at me over the rim of her glasses in a condescending manner and says
"Somebody didn't bring their 'A' game"
Now for those of you keeping score, thats Aspen: 2 Bricotrout: 0


Aspen Quote #1

A few nights ago Aspen and I were sitting down to some kind veggie burritos (her favorite) at the dinner table. The conversation went pretty much like this:
"So are you making any new friends in your new class?" I ask (she just started first grade)
"Mmm hmm, Jake and I play sometimes at recess. But I don't like playing with him too much"
"Why not?"
"He's weird"
"You don't like weird people?"
"No, well, I don't like weird boys"
a pause of about 3-4 seconds
She looks up at me reasuringly...
"But I still like you Daddy"