"...YOU LIVE IN A ZOO..."

Today is Tishy's birthday, she is thirty... ooops, I sure as hell know better than to finish that sentence! Anywho, she aint a day over legal as far as I'm concerned. All of you's should stop by her place and share the love. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TISHY!!

"YOUR BUSINESS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO GOD. PLEASE STAY ON THE LINE AND GOD'S NEXT AVAILABLE ASSOCIATE WILL BE WITH YOU SHORTLY"

Tuesday I saw this company's truck cruising down the highway. G.O.D. (Guaranteed Overnight Delivery). So I pondered, as I am known to do from time to time, what it would be like to call GOD's main office. How does the receptionist answer the phone? "Thankyou for calling GOD. How may I direct your call?" or "GOD here, can you please hold?" My question is this: If you're put on hold while waiting to talk to one of GOD's representatives... what music do they have playing in the background? I wonder if you'd hear "I've got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart, down in my heart, down in my heart." It would either be that or that Man of Constant Sorrow song that George Clooney sang in Oh Brother Whereout Thou. So, what would you hear? And for that matter... what would you be calling GOD for in the first place? Me? I'd be calling the complaint department and demanding to speak with the supervisor!

DON'T SAY YOU WEREN'T WARNED!

The full article is here... and here... Here's my synopsis... Telephone and cable companies are urging congress for the right to charge various access rates to internet businesses. It's a complicated issue but what this means is that major companies (Goggle, Yahoo, etc) who can afford to pay the higher speed rates will get priority service to your computer. This means a couple of things... 1- Smaller companies, websites, and bandwidth users that can't afford the 'priority service' access speed will in the end be muscled out by the bigger companies who can afford the extra access costs. 2- Your internet provider services will have the ability to in effect deny any internet user companies of their choosing access to your computer, period. 3- Your favorite websites, if they are not paying the faster access speeds, will take significantly longer to download their pages to your monitor. There are many more potentially negative outcomes if this legislation passes congress. What would essentially happen is that the internet would no longer be 'neutral' like a sidewalk or highway where everyone gets to travel at the same speed and at whatever time they want. It would be the access companies (AT&T, Comporium, etc) who would decide what the costs are for how fast internet companies are allowed to get their info to your computer (IF AT ALL!!!) and at what times! Of course the telecommunication networks who want power over these variable fees aren't painting such a drastic picture but advocacy groups for net neutrality are warning loudly that the internet as we know it and as it has always existed will change drastically and forever if this legislation passes. What we will be left with is essentially another cable system where accessibility and choices are determined by the internet access providers. If you value the neutral net the way it has always been where every website has equal access to your monitor as every other website then I urge you to contact your congress person and let them know where you stand on this issue as a registered voter.

ONLY 10,000 CALORIES PER SERVING!

These are two dishes available at Mulligan's restaurant in Decatur, GA 1- The Hamdog (pictured) "a half pound of hamburger meat wrapped around a hot dog, which is deep fried and served on a hoagie topped with chili and a fried egg" ...and... 2- The Luther "a half pound burger served with bacon and cheese on a Krispy Kreme doughnut"

TEN WAYS I PREPARED POORLY FOR TISH'S 3RD VISIT

1- left a pile of dirty dishes in the kitchen sink 2- left a list of chores for tish to do until i got home (including cleaning said pile of dishes) 3- didn't bother to pick up my skidmarked underwear from the bedpost and lamp shade 4- didn't hide the panties or other evidence of Crimson's, Red's, JY's, and Heather's visit from the previous weekend 5- called tish at 1am and told her i was running a bit late at work and wouldn't be in until around 3... ish 6- called tish at 2am and told her to come pick me and my new friend up downtown since the bartender wouldn't give me back my car keys 7- didn't bother to hide my Barely Legal magazine collection 8- assumed tish was an eco conservationalist and would appreciate my habit of not flushing for a week at a time 9- forgot to tell tish that the woman next door has a habit of using my shower in the middle of the day and to just ignore her 10- forgot to hide the pics i had secretely taken of her on the can last time she stayed over ...other than that, this weekend is going great!

I AM SO GETTING THESE!!

I just learned that these exist! They're about 9" tall. I am placing an order for them today! They hang under your truck's back bumper. Is this classic or what?? My next step is to get my private plate changed from 'ILUVMUD' to 'TBAGGIN' Photos coming soon!

SUCK MY BALLS SOUTH CAROLINA DEPARTMENT OF NATURAL RESOURCES!

... and give the left one some extra attention. It doesn't hang quite as low and often gets ignored. So, Thursday I truck 80 miles down to Columbia, SC to register The Sea Weeder. I was told all four times I called that I did have the proper paperwork in my possession and only needed an ID and the registration fee $ to get my sticker and updated title. Any guesses as to what happened? You guessed it! They had their heads up their asses and didn't bother to look a bit deeper into their database to see that the guy who had signed his bill of sale to me was no longer the legal owner of the boat. Even though it is still registered to him (because numb nut #1 never registered it in his name) it is in their records that he had sold it. They couldn't have told me this before I drove down there on my day off? No, they wanted to tell me this once I got there in person. Not only that but they confiscated the notarized bill of sale I had saying it was a fraudulent document since the signer was no longer the legal owner. So I ask them ever so nicely what the fuck am I supposed to do get this boat legal so I can put it on the water without risking a $740.00 fine. It seems I have to track down the registered owner and have him sign another bill of sale to the legal owner (numbnut #1) and have that notarized, then I have to track down numbnut #1 and have him sign a legal bill of sale to the guy I bought the boat from (numbnut #2) and have that notarized. Then I have to have numbnut #2 sign a legal bill of sale to me and have that notarized. Then I have to add up all the registration fees, taxes and late fees for myself and numbnuts #1 - 2 and pay those charges ($191 total) when I come back down to Columbia the next time. Keep in mind, I have no idea who the registered owner or numbnut #1 are or where they live! But SCDNR has a solution for that. All I have to do is pay them $10 for a title search and I can have their names and outdated addresses. What is that shit?! She's got the names sitting on a form right in front of her and I gotta pay her $10 to move her hand 9" forward so I can reach it? Can someone say 'extortion'? So I pay the extortion fee and get a barely legible photocopy of a Xeroxed photocopy of an old faxed form that appears to have some names and addresses on it. It's hard to tell really, it may have just been a Rorschach painting. So I treck back home with no title or registration sticker but a pretty expensive piece of paper that has some kind of abstract drawing on it. But I'm a doer, an accomplisher, a man of action. When the chips are down you can count on me. I manage to get online to try a person search but then remember that I am terrible at that kind of thing. But a friend at work is awesome at that kind of thing, and within ten minutes I have a return phone call with the current names, phone numbers and addresses of registered owner and numbnut #1. Well, long story short, 7 hours and 120 miles of back and forth traveling later I have three notarized bills of sale linking me to the original owner. This is what I was told was all I needed. So Friday morning I truck back down to the friendly and helpful folks at SCDNR (as opposed to going to work) to put their assurances to the test. But wait! As I'm sitting there waiting for the office to open I realize that each form was supposed to be signed on the front as well, along with SSN and DL #'s!! Damnit all! But I'm an improvisor! And a few squiggles and random numbers later the forms are completely filled out just as the door is unlocking. I am first in line and the same lady who helped (and I use that term about as loosely as possible) me yesterday looks at me surprised. "You didn't expect to see me again so soon did you?" I says. "No, I certainly didn't" she replies as she takes the papers from me looking at me as suspiciously as possible. But she couldn't argue with the notary seals so 30 minutes later I walked out of the building with a title and proper decal stickers! See you all on the water Sunday!

WARNING: CONTENTS MAY CREATE NAUSIOUSNESS

It came to my attention last night (after the Dave Matthews concert - which was awesome by the way!) that more than one blogger had read the comments from my Keith Urban Is Gay (and other revelations) post and assumed that Tish's response to my post (which included an updated HNT pic) was not in jest. Word was getting around that my post had indeed had negative consequences on my growing friendship with Tish. I found some humor in this actually. I called Tish to tell her that someone had taken her comment seriously. Tish found this quite funny indeed. But let me apologize to my dear blogger friends on Tish's behalf for the stress she induced due to her thoughtless comment and off sense of humor. Actually, and this is where things get vomit inducing, one of the things I really like about Tishy is that she gets my sense of humor. Usually a few weeks into a relationship I manage to piss of my partner at least a handful of times with my ill timed, off the cuff and more often than not senseless & thoughtless words that I deem 'funny' but really aren't. So far, I haven't seemed to irk Tish even once. And I'm trying hard too! I mean, I'm running out of ideas. Short of feeding her dogs poison I can't find anything that she doesn't find funny. Even doing the Macarena while wearing nothing but fleece socks cracks her up! I'm in uncharted territory here. I seem to have free reign with saying what I want in the tone that I want when I want and the only respose I get is "Brico, you are so funny!" Now if I could just get her to stop saying that while I'm undressing everything would be perfect!

COUNTDOWN TO MENTAL COLLAPSE

Hmmm, the dashboard lights in the jeep went out the other day. I can get them to flicker on and off if I jiggle the stick in neutral but that and a quarter gets me a gumball. The brightside is that now when Johnny Lawman pulls me over for doing 95 on the freeway I can honestly reply "Why no officer, I have absolutely no clue how fast I was going" and point to my unlit dashboard. This is good because the fine for driving an unsafe vehicle is not as hefty as the fine for driving 30 miles over the speed limit. I should have thought of breaking my control panel lights years ago. I could have saved myself thousands! In brighter news (ha! get it? i'm too much sometimes!) I'm taking Ed (Aspen's 16 yr old brother - my ex's son from her first marriage) to The Dave Matthews' show tonight. That should be cool. Hopefully he'll have lots of friends hell be running into. Particularly the 18 yr old high school senior honey kind of friends. I'll bring my camera. And 'damnit all!' if I don't have to drive down to Columbia, SC Thursday (hour and a half) to register The Sea Weeder ($100) and the jetski (hmmm, never bothered to name that for some reason.. The Rusty Jet maybe?... $115) which I never registered when I bought it 2 years ago. I have called the SC Wildlife Dept everyday for the last week giving them my specific scenarios, making sure I have the right forms filled and notarized, the right forms of ID, pics of the hull numbers, etc. Ive gotten the same responses every time I've called, in fact I'm pretty sure the old ladies who work there recognize my voice by now, no matter what name I give them (Brico, Benedict, Guizeppe, Adolph, etc). But you watch!!! I'll get all the way down there and they will have forgotten to tell me about some other form I was supposed to have notarized by the previous owner or a picture of some other number from the vessel that I didn't get or some proof of residency or something like that and I'm here to tell you the shit is going to hit the fan!! I will be steemed, nay, pissed!! Watch CNN Thursday afternoon for the breaking story "Keith Urban's ex lover arrested for assault on government employees in Columbia, SC"

KEITH URBAN IS GAY (AND OTHER REVELATIONS)

I have a confession to make. Keith Urban and I had an ongoing affair for over two years in the late '90's. I reveal this now along with just one photo from our private and personal collection because he is set to marry Nicole Kidman this weekend. Our relationship was on again off again for 27 months until a comment I made about Kenny Chesney filling out his jeans nicely sent Keith over the top. We have never spoken since. I sympathize with Nicole's situation. She is obviously the go-to woman to marry in Hollywood when a highly public male needing to preserve his reputation as a playboy feels he may be outed. I feel for Nicky. She obviously wants to find that perfect heterosexual male who is able and willing to implant his highly potent seed within her and to buy her flowers every once and a while as long as she can keep the house clean and manage to keep her yap shut while I'm watching The Bronco game from our new yacht. So, Nicky, while your current flame sadly has you duped, I am here to tell you that I (unlike him) am not at all in the slightest bit 'light in the cowboy boots'. Bricotrout is 101% hetero male. I say this to keep you from making your 3rd huge mistake in your short but unbelievably hawt life (Tom Cruise and Flirting being your first two). Please, Nicky, listen to reason, return my calls, respond to my emails, have the restraining order revoked. I am here for you!

TISH'S (ALMOST) QUOTE

As you have probably concluded, Tish and I speak daily via that phone contraption thingy. The other day she almost... almost... made a Brico style verbal faux paz. Let me share it with you. The topic was something along the lines of her needs and desires in a relationship. I'm not sure exactly, I tend to fade in and out most of the time in pointless conversations like this. Then she said this: "If I had to choose between being stuck on a desert island with some young handsome stud who's a good lover or..." and you could hear her just starting to say the word "you". I mean the 'ya' sound was already starting to form on her lips. Then she caught herself and in mid sentence changed slightly the direction she was heading. She concluded... "...or someone who is funny and sweet, I would take the funny and sweet person every time." Nicely done, Tishy. Point well made.

I'M SMARTER THAN THAT GUY

After his store bought 'gold detector' indicated there was gold buried in his front yard, Henry Mora (AKA Norm Enrique) proceeded to dig a 60 foot deep hole (that's 5 stories deep!!!) in his front yard to find it. He ended up paying two friends to help him with his ten day long dig until local authorities, acting on a complaint/tip from a neighbor, closed down his mining operation. His home is now legally uninhabitable until he pays for an engineer to properly fill the hole back in. When asked if he had mineral rights to his property (which most residential land owners do not) he replied "I'm not sure" then added "Next time I'm going to try somewhere in South America rather than my front yard"

THINK BEFORE YOU STICK

I grow tired, weary and even nauseous when I see a person of any religion taking the stance that their religion has a monopoly on 'values' and 'morals'. One of the greatest demonstrations of respect you can show to your faith is to become familiar with the practices, history and philosophies of other faiths. One can't adequately defend what they believe if they have no idea what other beliefs exist. A few months ago mayor Ray Nagen of New Orleans was criticizing protests by upper class residents of having temporary trailer parks for the displaced located in their neighborhood parks. His response was that this hostility was neither 'civil nor Christian'. Upon hearing this I felt a sting of anger. Grrrrrr! Now if he was speaking to a Christian congregation such a statement may have been acceptable, but he was addressing a neighborhood community. Such a statement implies that Christianity is the only faith that concerns itself with acting civilly and respectfully to fellow humans. Why else would he single out the word 'Christian' while addressing his general population? Can I get a big 'bullshit' on that one please?! Then today I saw a bumper sticker that said 'You Can Not Be Both Christian And Pro-Choice'. Grrrrrr! again This sticker subtly implies that other faiths don't concern themselves with such moral issues. Such statements are easy for us to make because we tend to live in our own little worlds with little awareness of what worlds exists outside of our own. We don't even realize that what we say is divisive. Mayor Nagen is probably blissfully unaware that his wording had a negative impact on his community. That it helped to instill an underlying feeling of moral superiority within the Christian community and made those of other faiths feel left out. The person who created the bumper sticker probably has no clue (and may not even give a rats ass for that matter) what a Jew, Muslim, Buddhist or anyone other than a Christian feels about such an isolating statement. And for every one bumper sticker I see that says 'God Bless Every Nation' I see ten thousand 'God Bless America' stickers flying around. Lets think about how those patriots would feel if a Pakistani immigrant proudly displayed a sticker that said 'God Bless Pakistan'? Would he take offense to it? Would God?

ASPEN'S FIRST DENTIST VISIT

A few days ago was Aspen's first dentist visit. I have been trying to get her mother to make her an appointment for 3 years now to no avail (her brother, who is 16, has been once in the last ten years - that's what I have to deal with in a fellow parent folks!) so I finally made the appointment myself and paid for it out of pocket. I assured Aspen that there were no shots involved and it was basically just a thorough cleaning. She was only slightly nervous but did awesome. She did give me a dirty look when I opted for putting sealants on her molars which required a second nurse to come in and help hold her mouth open (she knows full well that whenever a second nurse comes into the room during a doctor visit that it means a shot). And the fact that the sealant gel comes in an applicator that looks identical to a syringe didn't help matters at all. But the nurse was quick to demonstrate that it was not a shot. The only part that Aspen didn't care for was the fluoride treatment foam which was supposed to taste like banana split but ended up "tasting like ick!" I can sympathize with her on that. When was the last time any flavored medication actually tasted like what the label says? Her favorite part was the sucky thing (what movie was that that called that thing 'Mr. Thirsty'?) I asked for a printout of her x-rays which now goes in her permanent files in daddy's file cabinet.

TEN THINGS THAT WENT TERRIBLY WRONG DURING TISH'S SECOND VISIT

1- tish apparently prefers to be told ahead of time if i have a threesome planned 2- tish's visit came at the exact time as my biannual breakout 3- tish seems to think her new cold sores have something to do with me 4- tish doesn't find my collection of 'gay midget beastiality porn' entertaining at all 5- we discovered tish has a severe skin allergy to cherry flavored love oil 6- tish meant for me to warn her 'before', not 'during' 7- tish didnt realize the 'guest toothbrush' in the bathroom was in fact my anal wart cream applicator 8- tish suffered from her worst case of night terrors in a very long time and once again my right leg suffered the consequences (see pic below) 9- pushing tish off the boat into the lake is not an acceptable way to teach someone how to swim 10- having to repeat outloud 1000 times "ambushing tish by shoving my sweaty socks into her face when she comes out of the bathroom is not funny" before i can get any nookie, is not a good way to start off the weekend. Thanks, Tishy, for a... um, 'interesting' weekend. Call me when you get that sleeping disorder well medicated. *muwah*

TEN ALTERNATIVE FORMS OF BIRTH CONTROL

It seems some of us can just not seem to not get pregnant. The simple 'pill' or 'condom' method is just too complicated or expensive to master it would appear. It is for you that this post is dedicated. Take it to heart, memorize it, practice it. You know who you are. 1- um... say 'no' for once in your life 2- try switching teams 3- only date guys in their 90's 4- only date guys younger than 10 5- become a necropheliac 6- have him sit in extremely hot water for 20 minutes first (even if its only 50% effective, thats 50% better than what you're currently doing) 7- bath in spermicidal jelly precoitus 8- vasectomy (im not a big fan of this one) 9- produce bag and rubber band 10- anal sex (your butt can't get pregnant sweetheart!) I've tried a few of these personally (I won't say which ones), you obviously have tried none of them. Look into it doll. Love ya!

ANOTHER NEW SERIES AT THE NUT

My regular readers are familiar with the different 'series' of posts that we feature here at The Nut. There is The Road of Rage Diaries, Be Their Voice, The 'Tens lists', Raise Your Hand If..., and Aspen Quotes. Would you please welcome a new series to this collection. Starting today, we introduce what will surely be a never ending series called... I'm Smarter Than That Guy! Let the obviousness begin. Yesterday, a man was attacked by an alligator while snorkeling in a Florida canal. WHO THE F**K GOES SNORKELING IN A FLORIDA CANAL???? Are you new to this planet? What the hell? Please tell me you aren't planning on having children! That would throw Darwin's whole theory out of whack and I am a firm believer in his teachings. Congrats on being the the subject of the 1st ever 'I'm Smarter Than That Guy' post.

BIG UPS!

As you may know, I no longer have internet access at my pad. It's by choice. It's a good thing, for the most part. But that leaves me only time at work to do all my blogging. That can be kind of tricky 'cause they like me to actually spend time working while I'm there. Between you and me, I don't think upper management has any clue how much work is involved in maintaining a blog. Anyhoo, what I'm getting at is that I have even less time than before to check out others' blogs. And it depresses me. I feel special (and not just because I take the short bus to work), you guys still come by on a near daily basis and read my useless crap even though I rarely make my way over to your sites. And it is for that and for you that I dedicate today's post. Tiffany, Stacie, OCL, Kristi, Doc, Belly, Fyrchk, Monkey, JY, Jam, Crimson, Jenny, Sasha, Heather, Blondie, Jan, Rachel, Tart, Melanie, Mara, Bug, Chrissie, Zya, Spinner, Jolie, Dale, Tommy, and Dan. You guys are great! You're all officially invited for a day out on The Sea Weeder. Whenever you make it this way is fine with me. If your name is not listed it is either because you are one of the 2 or 3 that I manage to still read on a semi daily basis (you're invited too) or because you're one of those damn 'lurkers' that reads daily yet never bothers to say 'hi' (don't expect props if you don't give a shout out yo'self yo!)

THAT 'TEN STATEMENTS' MEME THAT'S BEEN GOING AROUND

I dunno what this post is supposed to be called but lots of people have been doing it and I wanted to too. Here are ten things I'm saying to people in my life (past or present) but I'm not saying who they're to. 1- Dude, what the f**k?! We were as close as brothers growing up then you decide that the friendship that had endured for years was 100% discardable? There was no fallout, no harmful words, just moving on. But to not bother calling when you're back in town once a year? Nice! 2- I can't regret having been involved with you because of what we produced but you are the single biggest headache my life will ever know. If ever I were to strangle someone, it would be you. Grow the f**k up and get serious help for your issues and stop lieing every time you open your mouth. You are the epitome of mentally unstable. 3- You make me smile every time I hear you say hello. I hope that never changes. 4- Buddy, please stop drinking. It is the source of your unhappiness. I see it. You don't. I wouldn't lie. 5- I'm sorry I don't live up to your expectations. It plagues me. You are one of the most accomplished women I've ever known. I'm not that ambitious. I am happy though. I hope that counts for something in your eyes. 6- To answer your question: No, I don't still hate you. I never hated 'you'. I hated what you tried to do me. I wish you the best. I always have. But you are now a part of my past not my present. Please move on. There are others capable of being a good friend to you. Find them. 7- Why me? I'm not sure what your hang up is. I am considerate to those I interact with. Noone you know seems to have any negative things to say about me even though you constantly try to find it. I leave you alone because you obviously don't care for my presence. So what exactly is your beef? I get the feeling you view us as competitors in some kind of market and that's sad. You do your thing, which I think can be a bit crass, uncouth and distasteful at times but I don't let it consume me. I do my thing. Please don't let it consume you, I'm not worth the effort. 8- Sweetheart, you are not as messed up as you think you are. Everything you observe about yourself is shared by a majority of others out there. You're just a sexaholic who isn't getting any right now. And I think you've made a great decision to stop. I'm sure it's not easy. Get new rechargables and call in sick for a day. 9- I pity you. You have spent your whole adult life preparing for a secure future and you rarely enjoy a moment of the present. That difference in philosophy is why we're not close. I hope you discover 'living' before your life is over. 10- You turned my life around the day you were born. It's my job to make sure you grow up right, yet it was you who made me grow up. Funny how that works. I love you.

AAAARGH!

So Sunday started off good enough. I took The Sea Weeder back to the man from whom I purchased it so he could help me with a problem. You see, when out on the water last time she just stopped cold in the water. We had to get towed in. I was nervous not knowing if this was a $20 problem or a $1000 problem. Turns out a screw deep within the distributor had stripped its threading and came loose freezing it up. Any less caring or less capable mechanic would have tossed the distributor and told me to spend $200 for a new one. Instead, this guy spent 90 minutes finding the problem figuring out how to fix it then fixing it and resetting the timing. She runs better now than she did when I got her. All this for the cost of some $17 cables and a case of Michelob Ultra. Okay, luck was definitely on my side with that! Now The Sea Weeder is ready for the seas when Tish comes back down this weekend. Sadly, luck was not on our side at The Buffett concert. While backstage we did run into Jimmy's two guitarists but the man himself did not make an appearance for us or anybody else. This pick was taken backstage about 10 minutes before the show started. This pick was also taken about 10 minutes before a torrential downpour started. Damn my lame ass lawn seats! It poured the entire show. Aspen thought it was great and fun... for about the first 15 minutes. Then hypothermia set in. But I love Buffett and wasn't going to be deterred by some little ailment (which is not even fatal in 50% of reported cases!!). I don't care how much she was going to mope and sit and shiver, we were here to have fun! Now get your ass up and dance with every other drunk adult around! Stop making a spectacle of yourself! You're embarrassing me already! Aw, who am I kidding. We ended up leaving about what I guess was 5 songs early. This normally would be sacrilegious according to my beliefs, leaving a Buffett show early! But I knew I wouldn't hear the end of it from Aspen's mother if she was "bedridden" or "hospitalized" for a few measly days. I mean, what doesn't kill her makes her stronger right? Exactly! But tell that to my ex! The good part of the story is that before the show I imagined if Buffett asked me what song would I request, I would ask for Peanut Butter Conspiracy (which is an old tune he hasn't done since who knows when) and a new tune, Coast of Carolina. I nailed it! He played them both! Sadly we ended up leaving before he played Fins for Aspen. Before the show we spent an hour walking through the parking lot enjoying the greatest beach party not on a beach ever. So many people were stopping me and Aspen to take our pics, give us leies (sp?) and invite us to join their tiki parties. She had a blast. She was a little shy at first about dressing up and walking around in front of strangers then when she saw all the other people dressed up she was psyched for it! And she is fine today thankyou! That new cough of hers will go away on its own in a few days I'm sure, so get off your soapbox 'mom'!

FINS TO THE LEFT!!!!

Oh joy, Oh joy, Oh joy! Sunday is my most anticipated day of any given year! I get to chilax on the lawn of Charlotte's Amphitheatre listening to 3 hours of the greatest songwriter ever... Jimmy Buffett, Mr. Parrothead himself! His music is the soundtrack to my life. As I've said before, I have 182 Buffett tunes in my ipod, and thats only the ones I really like (I only have 86 Grateful Dead tunes). How can depression exist when his songs fill the air? It can't! You go to a Buffett show and you will only see tears of joy and smiles abound, no negative nancies around when the man is on stage! And what makes this particular show even more special, this will be Aspen's first concert! A year ago she asked me to make her a CD of her favorite Buffett tunes (Fins, Jolly Mon, Stars on the Water, etc). She's been listening to it at bedtime ever since. Secondly, we have backstage passes. That doesn't mean we will actually run into The Pirate, but why pass up the possibilty, even though remote, of getting Aspen's pic with Mr. Margaritaville himself? I don't want to jinx it but maybe, just maybe, there will be a really cool pic of my offspring in the next post! How can he not come over and say hi to a cutie like her? I ask you!

TEN THINGS TISH AND BRICO HAVE IN COMMON

I hadn't done a ten's list in some time, so at the risk of coming off as mushy, I dedicate this one to my blog friend... After Tish came down and hung out last weekend I took note of our similarities. Here's a few of my observations 1- We both burn Nag Champa incense (all other brands are just imitations of the original) 2- We both own Dogma on DVD and consider it one of the best movies ever 3- She resembles Natalie Merchant and I often act like 10,000 Maniacs 4- She is a beautiful woman and I can never get enough of beautiful women 5- Neither of us have any risk of ever drowning (i'm a good swimmer...) 6- We both love Buffett (that's mandatory!) 7- We both love Barenaked Ladies (she loves the band...) 8- We both have sensitive legs 9- We both reside in the south amongst these people. 10- Tish prefers to walk around the house naked... and I, as well, prefer Tish to walk around the house naked. So... what could possibly go wrong?

BETTER THAN THE ALTERNATIVE...

So a woman I had dated recently just told me that she is recently engaged. I guess that's better than her deciding to pitch for the other team after having dated me. Actually, I'm psyched for her. She really wants that stable and happy homelife and close knit family. She deserves it. I hope the guy she has found ends up giving her her dreams. She reads this blog from time to time so if anyone wants to give her best wishes you can leave it in the comments (remember: you offer 'best wishes' to the bride, not 'congratulations'. thanks mom for raising me well!)