AINT NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH

But there are sure some that are pretty damn cold! You see that U.S. weather map lately? The one that is all red with a few splatches of orange and all the numbers are 90 or higher? If you zoom in on that real close you'll see over in Floyd, VA no orange or red, just the color that indicates 'fricken cold man'. And what makes matters worse, far worse than the cold itself, is that Aspen's mom (familiar with the region in question) told me I 'might want to bring along a pair of jeans because it can get cold up there'. I'm from Colorado! I know full well that mountains can get cold. But these hills aren't mountiains any more than what Paris Hilton has are breasts. So I simply packed t-shirts and shorts for us. God Damnit there is nothing worse than having to tell your ex 'you were right'. Ow the sting! Damn weather map says it's gonna be 90 with a low of 72! How about a high of 70 and a low of 42? That was more accurate! And I wasn' the only one taken by surprise. Lots of tree hugging, pot smoking, hair brading, hill folk thought that it was going to be at least a few degrees above 'where's-my-damn-jacket?!' so I weren't the only one! Aside from the mild cases of frostbite, the Floyd Fest was a blast. Other than the fact that there were 3000 people (and 6000 unshaved armpits) in attendance, everything was worth remembering. And here's some pics to prove it... Aspen and daddy taking in the atmosphere Hmmm... okay, one pic. Blogger is being a bitch this morning it would seem. What do you say 'Blogger'? Can we post some more tomorrow or you gonna be PMSing then too??

MORE ODDS AND ENDS

1- Yes, the Sea Weeder will be back in a few short days. The engine is 'running like a champ' the guy tells me. Sadly, that 'champ' status set me back $250 as he had to rebuild the carburetor and completely readjust all facets of the compression and timing. Here's the kicker: I gave him the go ahead for a new shifter box and cables. I'm not falling for some typical mechanic scare tactics here. Miguel and I knew for a fact that she was having a real hard time getting in and out of neutral while on the water. Maybe I'm gullible, maybe I'm eternally optimistic (I still think my ex wife and I have a shot at working things out too!*) but I have to believe that with the new shifter installed and him telling me all other aspects of the engine are great (what mechanic is not going to tell you when you need more work done?) that this should be the last of the overhaul project. Oh yeah, that part will be an additional $750! Nice huh? Whose idea was it to get a boat again? Thank god business is good. 2- Mom got her dates set. She will be out Tuesday through Tuesday. Not quite as long as originally planned but I'll get over it. And for some reason she agreed that she would be willing to go for a boat ride. She's 70 something and has a bad back so I was pleased she will go for it (I couldn't convince her to give the waterskiing a try though. Maybe after I spike her afternoon tea she'll be more agreeable). 3- The new guy we hired lasted 2 days. Aint that some shit?! Funny thing is, he 'quit' immediately after I took him out on training for the afternoon. Maybe my going on for 3 hours on what a prick the boss is gave him some pause. Anyway, no ones blaming me for now. Bottom line is we're now looking over the other applicants to see who might be a little more reliable which means 6 days a week for the next few weeks. Fucker! Oh, when I say 'quit' I mean he failed to show up the next day or to return anyone's calls. 4- I bought the season one DVD of The Office. Actually there were 3 episodes on there I had never seen before! Steve Correl's character Michael Scott is the best!! I can't get enough of his dialogue, I'm learning alot about how to say the wrong thing in casual conversations from him! If you haven't seen this show (NBC Thursday nights) pull your head out for 30 minutes a week for some good laughs already! Can't wait for My Name is Earl to come out! That show is the cheese! 5- I'll see you guys Monday hopefully. It's off to Floyd Fest (which is a bluegrass festival held in Floyd, VA, ::MARA::, NOT a Pink Floyd music fest! lol) You guys have a fun weekend! * that's a joke sweetheart!

ODDS AND ENDS

Okay, enough stories for now about Autumn and her family. Today I have some 'observations' that I have accumulated over the last few days. 1- If your daily life involves you interacting in any way with others on a face to face basis, please floss regularly! The stench of genocide aside I can think of no smell more repugnant than unflossed teeth breath! 2- How many people in this country are going to eat their way into those little electric get around chairs that take 30 minutes to get across a crosswalk before we as a nation have finally had enough? 3- Larry King has got to be THE WORST interviewer I have ever had to listen to. I mean, can he interrupt his guests in the middle of their answers MORE often? I seriously doubt it! 4- And this should be fun, Tish is planning on going out with some friends tonight. She has promised that after 3-9 beers she's going to give me a ring and be real friendly. I'll let you all know how that goes! 5- Miguel, Aspen and I are going up to the Blue Ridge Mountains this weekend for the 5th annual Floyd Fest. Two days of Bluegrass music, camping, Frisbee, good eats and dancing. Been planning this for over a year. Woo Hoo! 6- Mom comes to visit for 11 days on Sunday. That's the same day we get back from the bluegrass fest. That means I have to clean the place tonight. Ugh! Did I mention she'll be staying at my place for ELEVEN days?!! Mmmmm Hmmm! That's nine more days than a weekend visit. I'm just saying. Tish will be meeting mom while she's here. Providing she doesn't chicken out. Anyway, that whole thing... That's gonna be a months worth of posts right there! 7- The Sea Weeder should be out of the shop soon with all her minor and major ills all fixed up. Just in time for winter. Sigh.

A SHORT STORY *chapter 2 supplemental*

So it wen't down last night. Autumn's stepdaddy told her mommy that he was full aware of her shenanigans over the weekend, that she was not on a support group retreat. He told her to pack her things and leave. She screamed and fussed and argued and lied some more. In fact she tried telling him that her lieing about where she was going for the weekend was to test him to see if he was still untrusting of her (afterall it had been a full 4 months since her last affair. Certainly that should be in the distant past and be all but forgotten by now right?). Autmun's daddy laughed out loud when Autumn's stepdaddy told him that that was her excuse. Autumn's mommy stayed at a friend's house last night and was very upset at Autumn's daddy that he would not let Autumn stay with her (it was supposed to be her mommy's turn to have her). Autumn's daddy insisted that he would be happy to let Autumn stay overnight with her as long as she was staying back at her house or if she got her own apartment, but not while she was shacking up at a friends house because she had been kicked out onto the street. Autumn's daddy sat down with his little girl and told her that her mommy and stepdad had been in another big fight and that her mommy would probably not be staying there for a little while until they had worked their problems out. Her daddy was very careful not to place blame or villainize anybody. Autumn asked what they had been fighting about but her daddy just said that he didn't know. Autumn cried that once again she would be moving away from her dogs and her best friend neighbor. Her daddy held her and assured her that he would take her to see her dogs as often as he could. Autumn stopped crying after a few minutes. Then they read to eachother for the rest of the evening. The next morning Autumn's mommy called Autumn's daddy to calmly discuss things further. Daddy had to hang up on mommy the night before because mommy wanted to yell at daddy for not letting Autumn stay over with her. Then Autumn's mommy said that if he was going to question her judgement then she was going to question his and began to say that she didn't feel comfortable with Autumn being around her daddy's new love. Her daddy reminded her that she was one full marriage and divorce ahead of him since their own divorce and that as soon as he got married then divorced a year later for infidelity that she could start questioning his judgement. Autumn's mommy was quite.

A SHORT STORY *chapter 2*

I'm a low stress kinda guy. I like my life simple and uncomplicated. I usually manage that pretty well. However there is one factor of my life that keeps me from having things quite as smooth as I would prefer. And that would be my ex. Sure sure, we all have them and most of you are saying 'Brico, dear, don't go down that path. I can tell you some stories about my ex that will make your ex stories pale in comparison!' And I say 'Yeah? Wanna bet? Unless you were once married to a habitual lying, bi polar, manic depressive, self serving, delusional, do nothing, adulterer who suffers from histrionic personality disorder then sit.your.ass.down!' You got nothing on me.For starters, go back and read this if you want to be filled in. Okay, you still with me? I need to fill you in on the goings ons since that time. After living in her own apartment for several months (which Autum's step daddy had been paying for, as well as all her bills, car and gas and cell phone) Autum's mommy convinced Autum's stepdaddy to take her back in. She was unable to find a job and was quite dependent on a man, any man, to pay her bills and be her provider. Besides that, she was adamant that she was sorry for the affair and that she would get counseling for her issues and be a much better wife from here on out. Autum's stepdaddy believed her. So Autumn and her mommy moved out of the apartment and back into the house that Autumn knew and loved. Of course things around the house were stressful. Autumn's stepdad was wary of his wife's lies and had a hard time believing her when she said she was going out with 'friends'. This lead to many fights because Autumn's mommy didn't appreciate not being trusted. Finally, this last weekend, Autumn's mommy wanted to leave for the weekend to go on a retreat sponsored by her support group. However, Autumn's step daddy was smart and, unbeknownst to her, had installed a GPS locator in her car so he could see where it was going. And with that he caught her having yet another affair (that's 2 within 6 months). Autumn's stepdaddy called Autumn's daddy right away to let him know that daddy would want to watch Autumn all week since he planned on kicking Autumn's mommy out on her ass with no apartment or car or cell phone this time. Autumn's daddy sighed. Autumn's daddy grinned, Autumn's daddy shook his head sadly. But Autumn's daddy didn't cry because he was all cried out from the last time he had to tell his beloved little girl that she would be losing one of her homes and half her family. Now Autumn's daddy has to tell her all this all over again. Autumn's daddy was very angry at her mommy for being so selfish, immature, self centered, hypocritical, and deceitful the last time she had an affair. Now he is even madder at her mommy for failing to get her act together and take parenting seriously. Autumn's daddy is now scared too. He knows he will be all alone in paying for day care, insurance, clothes and everything else. He will be responsible for taking Autumn to all her activities (horse lessons, girl scouts, etc). And he will be responsible for making sure that Autumn grows up as a strong, independent, right minded woman even though she never had that as a roll model from her own mother. Let's hope that things look a little brighter in chapter 3 of this story.

RUSTY NUT MOVIE REVIEW

You thought I was blowing smoke up your ass! You thought I didn't have the stamina for it! You thought "There is no way he is that geeky!" Well screw you all in your stupid asses! I am too! As priorly pledged, I did indeed go see Lady In The Water and Clerks II last night alone after work (and for only the price of one ticket I might add ('stick it to the man', that's my moto!) So lets do a quick review of these fresh Hollywood flicks (if you haven't seen either of these yet, don't sweat it. I aint gonna give nothing away)... Lady In The Water: Everyone dies at the end of this film. You don't see this coming at all so Shyamalan sticks to his twist endings. At least you know there won't be a sequel. HA! I kid 'cause I love. Seriously, I found the movie compelling and captivating. I love LOVE Shyamalan and have been waiting for this since the day after The Village came out. I'm not going to reveal anything about the ending but I will be curious to see if anyone else felt a tad taken-a-back when the credits start to roll. Funny how an awesome film can be only a marginal film if the ending is off. I know that's vague but it's a Shyamalan movie. If I say anything more revealing than that I risk ruining something. Clerks II: If Kevin Smith hadn't already made Dogma this would be his masterpiece. I remember vividly when Clerks came out. It was so different yet raw and real that it was mesmorizing. The non stop and perfectly delivered dialogue had me swept away. Clerks II is just as well delivered with an even better Kevin Smith behind the camera. The fact that its got a budget 100 times that of the original doesn't make it feel overproduced at all. There are too many laugh out loud discussion points to count. Like the 12 minute discussion on whether or not ass to mouth sex is a no no or the umpteen times Randal gets Helen Keller and Anne Frank confused and the donkey show that goes terribly wrong (warning: this might not be a movie for kids under 7). And though I miss them terribly, true to the original film, Jay and Silent Bob are merely in the background in this one. It's a bit weird since they played such a huge part in Dogma and Strike Back. But Clerks isn't about them, rightfully so. One critic says that Clerks tries to have it both ways, sentimental and childish, and fails. WTF? So the audiance is laughing it's collective ass off for 90 minutes about a naive character believing that his girfriend has a troll living in her twat. Does that mean that we can't sit slently for 10 minutes during a heartfelt discussion about friendship and doing something with your life? Fuck that critic! Fuck.him.in.his.stupid.ass! And while it went by too fast for me to be sure, I think my name is in the credits. Smith put every myspace friend of Clerks II at the end of the credits. Pretty shnazzy! All in all I'd give Lady 3.5 stars out of 5 and Clerks a full on 5 out of 5!

"LORD, PLEASE TAKE THE BRONCOS ALL THE WAY THIS YEAR!"

Yesterday evening I was having a client meeting. My client happened to be a church. The meeting was held at the church (I carried a small vile of unholy water with me so I could safely pass onto the grounds). At one point during the meeting I noticed displayed prominently on the front wall a world map with a saying above it in large bold type "Lord, give us the nations". This is their request; this is their prayer; this is their mission, to (I gather) get their religious influence established in the nations of the globe. I presume that they seek this because they believe it is God's will to have their ('His'?) message spread far and wide. That 'He' is okay with this, that 'He' not only condones this but aspires for it. What I don't get is one's unbridled conceit that allows one to suggest to The Almighty how best to go about 'His' bidding. I mean, if God really wanted your version of 'His' message communicated to all nations of the world, wouldn't 'He' already have an idea of how that would best go down? Would your plan of attack really be one that 'He' hadn't thought of? I, for one can't imagine God hearing this prayer and saying "Hmmm, there's a good idea! Why didn't I think of that!" My idea of the concept of prayer is that we ask for the strength, power, inspiration to do be a better person. Not for specific material things. The 13th century Catholic monk Saint Francis of Asisi (named after The Gateway city in northern California) had a prayer that I think says it all... "Lord, let me be an instrument of thy peace" It's simple and to the point. It allows God (and wouldn't 'He' know better anyway?) to interpret in 'His' infinite wisdom how best to use your desires for 'His' ultimate plan. I mean, if God wanted you to 'have' the nations of the world, wouldn't you have already been in possession of them?

BORINGEST.POST.EVER.

This week is killing me! We have 3 guys at work doing the job of 5 (one quit and another is on vacation). Im working 62 hours this week and have client meetings coming out my ass. And most of those are late in the evening after work, so add that time in and I'm working closer to 70 hours. It's 145 degrees every day here this week and I have made the mistake 3 times of trying to go out biking in those precious down time minutes. Ugh! Not a good idea. Plus, upper management finally made the right decision and is including me in the interviewing process that's going on now. Where do these guys come from??? I don't know what makes people think they sound, look, act or even smell hire-able when they show up. And you can tell I'm beat cause I don't even feel like stretching that comic gold mine into a few laughs in this post. Too tired to be witty. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that I have saved Friday night ALL TO MYSELF! No work, no hanging with friends, no pretending to be athletic by doing something that increases my heartrate for a few minutes (and that includes getting frisky with Tish). Friday night I'm doing the movie marathon. I'm taking in Clerks II and Lady In The Water both inb the same night. Of course since I have to be at work bright and early Saturday morning, that means I'll get a full 6 hours of sleep Friday night. Woo Hoo! And that's all I got. I'm making every effort to stop by everyone's blog today (yes, even yours doc).

THANK YOU JESUS!!

Israel is at war, tsunami's are striking again, The earth is rapidly warming, Overpopulation is choking our natural resources, And my back spasms are acting up! Yet it is a glorious day!!! God does exist afterall! Yesterday, Georgia had its Gubernatorial elections and with the mighty blessing of God Himself ('Herself' if you're one of those agitating 'grrl' types) Ralph Reed lost his bid for the governorship!! Praise Jesus!! Hallelujah!! Sweet day in the morning!! Seriously, Ralphy is about as slimy, underhanded, self-righteous, crooked and manipulative as they come. The founder of The Christian Coalition has the most conservative agenda one could possibly put on paper. The last thing God wants is for someone like this to be acting and speaking on His (Her) behalf! Thank You Georgia electorate! Praise Jesus!! ******** And speaking of justice and righteousness, for the first time ever I got summoned for jury duty! And contrary to what you might think, I am pleased as punch to rearrange my work schedule and spend my day off to decide whether or not someone gets the chair! Everyone should be as blessed to live in a judicial system where your guilt or innocence is decided by your peers. And I got two words for this guy already: Gil.Tee!

TEN REASONS TISH IS A GREAT CATCH

Tish informed me yesterday that one of her first posts ever happened to have been one of her very own 'tens lists'. And the subject was 'Ten Reasons I'm A Good Catch'. Of course I was curious what her reasons were but I held off on reading them until I created my own list of why she's a great catch. It will be interesting to see if any of our reasons are the same... 1- She is very fond of a particular 'activity' that is still deemed illegal in 17 states 2- She is an awesome cook 3- She is low maintenance 4- Her smile (oops, well, trust me, she has a great smile) 5- Um... this 6- Her sense of humor 7- Her ever present upbeat attitude 8- Her Do-It-Yourself home improvement skills 9- She likes sports and beer 10- Her turn-ons include Scooby Doo & Shaggy impressions (which I am pretty darn good at I must say) Okay, now lets all go to her reasons post and see how we compared.

I'LL TRADE YOU MY TWO CENTS FOR YOURS

This post is only going to be of interest to you if you are one who keeps up on current events... Like a lot of people around the world I have been glued to various news stations for the last 72 hours watching history unfold. I have my opinions pretty set though I constantly modify them here and there every time I see an intelligent political analyst offer his point of view on real news show (not FOX Tish!). So here's my thinking: Hezbollah and Hamas as well as Iran and Syria refuse to acknowledge Israel's right to exist. Their collective goals are to see the total anhialation of that country and its people. Always the objective and rational one I try to see matters from all points of view but I am completely incapable of coming up with a justification for their stance. It is based on nothing more than millennia old raw hatred. And that never makes for good foreign policy. Israel is being urged by world leaders, and our always poignant and eloquent leader as well, to 'exercise restraint'. That kind of makes everyone a hypocrite doesn't it? Did we exercise restraint in Iraq? Would we exercise restraint if American soldiers were kidnapped from our land and then held for ransom? Hezbollah is an internationally recognized terrorist organization funded and equipped by Iran and Syria. It is not a government. It's soul mission is to obliterate Israel. Why should Israel be asked to exercise restraint? The Lebanese government will not (they claim 'can not') disarm Hezbollah. If Israel does nothing, it is apparent that nothing will be done. No country can be expected to sit back and allow a terrorist organization bent on its total anhialation amass thousands of weapons on its border. If Al Queda started accumulating itself on Canada's southern border, would we be cool with that? Why should we expect Israel to chillax in the same situation? My opinion: If you're not watching the news I urge you to. Not wanting to sound murose or appocalyptic or anything, I honestly feel we're witnessing the unfolding of WWIII right now. There are heavily armed, religiously motivated militias that do not represent legitimate governments who have little to lose and everything to gain in this scenario. It won't end anytime soon. That's my two cents, feel free to share yours.

SUDDEN POPULARITY CONTINUED

So my stat count remains at about triple of what it has been. Though I can't figure out where these hits are coming from I have figured out what post is attracting them, and it's not the main page. It's This Post. It may be one of the pictures or one of the keywords I suppose (if people are googling it). Or did someone who has an enormously popluar site post a link to this? I dunno. It's about a year old. Unfortunately, everyone is also exiting through the same page so they aint reading this, which means I can't ask anyone how they gots here. In other news, we may be fully staffed again sooner than expected which means back to 5 day work weeks before too long. Woo Hoo! Speaking of 'Woo Hoo', The Who is coming on tour in a few months! I'll be damned if they haven't announced for anywhere near here. I may have to travel to Chicago or Phili to see them. But make no mistake, I WILL see them this time!

HE'S BAAAA'AAACK!

Where to begin? Oh yeah, The Black Crowes show was Tuesday night. Fourth row center seats were awesome! Unfortunately, the band seemed to be elsewhere mentally the whole evening and were only half assed there. I can't blame them though. If I was married to Kate Hudson (as is lead singer Chris Robinson) I wouldn't be thinking about anything other than getting home either! Still, always good to see some good loud southern rock. The computer is 'fixed' hopefully. I should have guessed that the problem was not going to be covered by the warranty. $55! F*#kers! What's up with my stat counter??? The Nut usually averages 100-120 hits a day, but as soon as I went on hiatus my traffic went up to 300 hits a day??? Am I really that more interesting when I simply shut my pie hole? Ouch people, ouch! Speaking of that, if anyone can help me with this problem I'll be forever grateful and you'll get props here in my next post... The 'referring URL' tab in my stat counter has never worked! All it ever says for every single hit I've ever had is 'unknown' when I try to figure out how people got my site. Anyone know why this is? Anyone? And 'ACK!' we lost one of our staff this week at work which means I'm back to 6 day work weeks until we fill the position which will probably take 6 weeks! That the rest of the damn summer!! WTF!! Finally, I'd like to give a recomendation for a movie. The Breakup (with Vince Vaughn and the ever scrumptious Jenny Annison)! I don't get anyone who says this movie was boring! The dialogue between the main characters was to die for. I wish I had had a pen and paper with me to write down everything that came out of Vaughn's character's mouth. It was priceless! I sure hope I'm in some bitter breakup in the near future so I can use all his sharp stinging wit while its still fresh in my memory banks! Anyhoo, if you're a Vaughn fan, go see this, he's as good here as he was in The Wedding Crashers. PS: Wednesday night I jogged 4 miles then Thursday I biked 15 miles then jumped in the shower. Thats as close to competing in an Iron Man Triathalon as I ever hope to get!

BE THEIR VOICE #6

Lets be creative in my absence folks. What is this blogger thinking? In other news: Tish and I had a nice visit this last weekend. On Sunday I was treated to a nice surprise! She and Aspen went to the store and bought ingredients for one of Tish's favorite recipes, a veggie manicotti dish. They spent an hour in the kitchen together while I was invited to take a nap. What is that shit? I can't think of a single person in the last 10 years who has cooked a meal for me while I kicked back that I wasn't paying or related to in some way! Man! I could get me used to some of that action, I tell you what! And the meal was awesome too! I must have gained 5 pounds just taking in the aroma as it sat in the oven! Earlier in the day, Tish took the 40 beanie babies that she was gifting to Aspen and hid them around the house. She wrote down each ones name on a piece of paper so Aspen could cross off each one as she found it. She had a blast looking for them all which she did in about 30 minutes. Thanks Tish for a fun weekend. I have no scars to show for it so I know things are headed in the right direction. Anyhoo, the computer gets serviced in about 30 minutes so The Nut will be on hiatus for a few days. If you're looking for a good site to go to in the meantime I suggest Dawn's, hers is about the only blog I go to on a daily basis anymore. She's an ass slapper I'm telling you.

BE THEIR VOICE #5

My laptop will be in the shop for several days since the warranty is about to run out and it has some issues. So I will AWOL for awhile. I hope you all stay well. I'll be back as soon as computerly possible. In the meantime I leave you with this. You know what to do. Leave her thoughts in the comments. For the next few days I will be basking in the glow of Tish's company. When I come back to blogville I'll be sure to post a pic of whatever leg injury she ends up leaving me with this visit.

TEN DARK SECRETS FROM MY PAST THAT I WILL HAVE TO TELL TISH ABOUT EVENTUALLY

1- My short lived career as a porn star in the movie 'Stumpy Goodump Visits the Farm' 2- The time I did on the inside for cruel and unlawful acts upon a beanie baby 3- Seven of my ex girlfriends have been featured on the back of milk cartons 4- I was a postman for 3 years in the nineties and now its only a matter of time 5- I authored a little known book "Hitler, The Misunderstood Genius" 6- In 1990 I would only respond to the name 'Vanilla Brice' 7- I'm in the Guiness Book for 'largest amount of mercury ingested in one sitting' thanks to a fraternity dare 8- I invented the Macarena... "I'm sorry!!!!" 9- There are certain teachings of The Church of Latter Day Saints that I helped write and that simply make good sense! 10- Due to an incident in 1998 I am known amongst drug trafficers in Mexico as El Peligroso.

UPCOMING PLANS

TONIGHT: Aspen and I go to the Knights game and watch the fireworks WEDNESDAY: Miguel and I take the kayaks out, drink a good amount, and watch the sunset off the lake THURSDAY: My day off; going biking and more biking, preparing for Tishy's arrival (aka flush the toilets) FRIDAY: Back to work, me, Tishy, Miguel and Emily go see Pirates of the Caribean SATURDAY: Take Aspen to her first horse riding lesson, go to work, enjoy Tishy's backrubs etc SUNDAY: Aspen and I give Tishy more swimming lessons FYI: July 21st... both Lady on the Water and Clerks II come to theatres. I will be super busy that evening watching 2 movies (for the price of one!) "One super humungus glutton tub of popcorn with triple butter flavoring please!" Happy Birthday America!

THE SEA WEEDER IS SEA 'WACK'!! and other crap

It should have raised a red flag for me. When the guy from whom I purchased the boat told me that it had been sitting drydock unused for the last 5 years I should have realized that this meant it hadn't been taken care of properly over that time. And it hadn't. Not being used is another way of saying 'neglected'. First it was the disrtibutor, then it was the water pump, then the title issues came into view, then I realized the reason it was sluggish on startup was due to a battery that had too low of cold crank amps, so I switched that out for a new and better one. Everything was awesome. I started her up a dozen times in the driveway listening to her hum like a pro. I was elated. I had turned the corner and she was going to be running great from here on out. Then yesterday I started her up again just to double check her sound before taking Aspen and her friend out Sunday morning for a few hours of tubing. She barely wanted to start up, she was smoking and vibrating heavily, her RPM's had to be kept at 12000 otherwise she would stall out. Damnit! What now?! My educated guess was she needed new plugs. Thanks to an unconstitutional law in SC known as 'The Blue Law', no business other than grocery stores and gas stations can open their doors on Sundays until 1:30. Unless I wanted to wait for 5 hours I was gonna have to drive to the NC border and grab new plugs up there. So I did. I gapped and installed new ones to no avail, she still was coughing and sputtering. My second guess is that she is leaking gas into the carburaetor. That means she needs a new carburaetor gasket. I could try to install it myself but one mess up on my part could change a $100 job into a $500 job so I'll let the local boat mechanic, who now knows me by my first name now, take care of things. Which means since he's backed up by a week and won't be back in town until Thursday that I won't be out on the water with her for 2 weeks! Grrr! On a side note, Aspen and I went to the boat store the other day and looked at water skis and tubes for her. I asked which she would rather have and to my delight she wanted the skis! She has never been a big risk taker which I'm always trying to work on. I was pleased to see her opt for the more risky and challenging activity. Her eyes were aglow as the salesman demonstrated how the child skis work. In other news, Aspen and I are going to the minor league baseball game Tuesday night to see the firworks afterward. And she starts horse lessons this Saturday, which includes some kind of adopt a horse program. Great, he'll probably need new gaskets too before long. Thank goodness Tishy is coming down this weekend. I can use some lovin'!

REALITY TV SHOWS I'D LIKE TO SEE

I couldn't think up ten because I never watch reality TV... you guys can add your ideas to complete this for me. 1- World Wrestling Evangelists Caged Match To The Death Showdown 2- Sean Hannity vs Bill O'Reilly Caged Match To The Death Showdown 3- U.S. troops playing Texas Hold 'Em to see who gets an instant honorable discharge 4- American Company CEO's guest hosting Crocodile Hunter 5- Dog The Bounty Hunter being assigned to take out corrupt politicians Watchya got?