KEITH URBAN IS GAY (AND OTHER REVELATIONS)

I have a confession to make. Keith Urban and I had an ongoing affair for over two years in the late '90's. I reveal this now along with just one photo from our private and personal collection because he is set to marry Nicole Kidman this weekend. Our relationship was on again off again for 27 months until a comment I made about Kenny Chesney filling out his jeans nicely sent Keith over the top. We have never spoken since. I sympathize with Nicole's situation. She is obviously the go-to woman to marry in Hollywood when a highly public male needing to preserve his reputation as a playboy feels he may be outed. I feel for Nicky. She obviously wants to find that perfect heterosexual male who is able and willing to implant his highly potent seed within her and to buy her flowers every once and a while as long as she can keep the house clean and manage to keep her yap shut while I'm watching The Bronco game from our new yacht. So, Nicky, while your current flame sadly has you duped, I am here to tell you that I (unlike him) am not at all in the slightest bit 'light in the cowboy boots'. Bricotrout is 101% hetero male. I say this to keep you from making your 3rd huge mistake in your short but unbelievably hawt life (Tom Cruise and Flirting being your first two). Please, Nicky, listen to reason, return my calls, respond to my emails, have the restraining order revoked. I am here for you!