"YOUR BUSINESS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO GOD. PLEASE STAY ON THE LINE AND GOD'S NEXT AVAILABLE ASSOCIATE WILL BE WITH YOU SHORTLY"

Tuesday I saw this company's truck cruising down the highway. G.O.D. (Guaranteed Overnight Delivery). So I pondered, as I am known to do from time to time, what it would be like to call GOD's main office. How does the receptionist answer the phone? "Thankyou for calling GOD. How may I direct your call?" or "GOD here, can you please hold?" My question is this: If you're put on hold while waiting to talk to one of GOD's representatives... what music do they have playing in the background? I wonder if you'd hear "I've got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart, down in my heart, down in my heart." It would either be that or that Man of Constant Sorrow song that George Clooney sang in Oh Brother Whereout Thou. So, what would you hear? And for that matter... what would you be calling GOD for in the first place? Me? I'd be calling the complaint department and demanding to speak with the supervisor!