Yes, it is true. I am a lover of holiday music. I have over 100 tunes in my ipod that only get played between late November and late December. I already did a post a few weeks ago on my favorite x-mas selections. But just as important is a post recognizing those ho ho horrible x-mas songs that never ever ever should have been written or recorded.
This is that post.
- Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul Mcartney Wow, it's funny how you can spend your entire life creating flawless music and be poised to go down in history as the epitome of song writers and then bang, one little slip. You pen a song like this and no producer has the balls to stand up to you and say 'Hell no Paul! You are not recording that song in my studio!" sad. very very sad.
- Next Christmas by WHAM With the exception of #10 below, there is no song on the face of the planet that I would rather have never been recorded. If you want proof that George Michael is a satanist... here it is. No self respecting Christian would have ever written this song.
- Do They Know It's Christmas Time at All? by every bad 80's alternative band and U2 It was kinda cool at the time but seeing that the majority of people living in Ethiopia aren't Christians by birth, I think the clear answer is 'no'. I am aware that was the point of the song. But there's your answer. Lets move on.
- We're having a Reggae Christmas by Bryan Adams Since when is this guy Reggae??? He's from Canada! His country doesn't even share an ocean with Jamaica. That's like Metallica doing a tribute to polka music already. He shoulda put down the guitar in the fall of '69.
- All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carey I guess if Mary Magdalene can hang with Jesus then it's okay for Mariah to sing about him. But I still don't like it.
- Every Fricking Song by Trans-Siberian Orchestra I'll admit, theyre unique and creative and when you coordinate your Christmas lights to their music, it makes for a damn cool beer commercial! But heavy metal and the spirit of the lord? Yeah, not feeling it guys.
- It's Christmas Time in Hollis Queens by Run DMC Maybe this song/rap speaks to a certain geographical population but I've never lived in Queens so I don't get it.
- I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause by ? Actually, the reason I won't entertain this song is not because of an innate godawfulness but because my hearing this song at age 5 was the spark that ignited the fire of my realizing that Santa didn't exist. True story.
- The Christmas Shoes by ? Okay, to be honest, I've never heard this song. In fact, until doing some quick research for this post I had never heard of it. But I have read the lyrics and many critic reviews of it. Pathetic, sim.ply pathetic. This person needs to work on writing their epitaph rather than holiday songs!
- And this version of O Holy Night... please, please, please do not leave this page without clicking on the link and listening to this for as long as you possibly can. I ask for nothing more than this from you for Christmas.
If you can listen to that entire song I'll give you kudos here on the The Nut. (Tracy, your cd is coming!) |
