IN VICTORIES LIE TRAGEDIES (a conclusion of sorts)

It's funny how some days are boring and uneventful while others are so chaotic you don't know where to begin when retelling it. The events of the last 3 days fall into that second category. I had not heard from Aspen's mother since last Sunday. She was supposed to have been back in town Monday but never showed up or called or nothing. Then my phone rings Saturday evening. It was her, calling from Phoenix, wanting to speak with Aspen. I hand the phone over to my daughter after stating that I need to talk with her when she is done. When she is through catching up with her daughter I ask her what's going on. She informs me that she will be coming back into town on Sunday because of the pending hearing on Monday against her ex. The one in which I was requested by him to testify on his behalf regarding the restraining order she placed against him on Aspen's behalf. I had suspected she might brave coming back for this event but wasn't certain. She wanted to be able to see Aspen Sunday afternoon for a few hours since it had been 11 days since she had last seen her. I readily agreed. Afterall, it was in Aspen's best interest to see her mother as much as possible in situations like this. I asked where she would go with her. She didn't know. I asked if her boyfriend was coming into town as well. No. I asked where she would be staying while she was in town. She didn't yet know. I asked how long she would be in town. It depended on the outcome of the hearing. She then braved to ask me if I would be able to pick her up the airport. Again I agreed. Aspen would be at a birthday party which would give me time to go to the airport then stop her by the police station to be served. Not wanting to blindside her I told her that that would be a stop we would have to make before picking Aspen up at the party. She knew it was inevitable so she acknowledged my 'warning'. After picking her up I suggested that she and Aspen spend the afternoon/evening at my place making dinner and reading and relaxing in a home environment rather than me just dropping them off at a mall or park where options were limited. I knew she wanted to be alone with her so I offered to go to Miguel's and watch some games while they hung out. She happily accepted. At 9pm when I returned I took Aspen's mother to a friend's house to stay the night (her other friends had had enough of her chaos and lies and drama that her presence had brought so she had to seek out a nearby aquaintence). Again not wanting to blindside her I told her that her ex had asked me to go to the hearing to tell the judge I had no qualms with the restraining order being lifted n him regarding Aspen. She did not like that but knew there wasn't much she could do. So she asked if I could drive her to the hearing since I was already going. I agreed. I picked her up in the morning. At the courthouse were her sister, mother, father, and her ex... together (the same crowd that will be there for my custody hearing whenever that date gets set). Not there for her nor her ex, but for Aspen's best interest only, I sat next to Aspen's mother so she wouldn't be alone. I watched the anticipation slowly set in over the next hour as we waited for 4 other blah boring petty cases go before the judge ahead of us. Due to her illnesses she can be prone to panic attacks. And one was setting in. For ninety minutes she watched her family sit next to, whisper to, joke with and pat on the back, the man that she claims assaulted her. That must have been a very painful experience for her. Anyone else and I would have been sympathetic to her situation. But having dealt with her for the last 10 years I know full well that A- her ex never assaulted her and B- everything leading up to her sitting in a court room across from her ex and family was brought on by her own misdoings. I saw in my pereferal vision her hands trying to not shake. I knew what lie ahead. When it came her time she and her ex approached the judge and sat in chairs only feet from eachother. Before being able to sit there for 2 minutes she announced 'forget it, if he wants it all that bad he can have it.' (the hearing was whether or not she could go escorted back onto the property to get the furniture she had at the time of the divorce - 6 months ago. she wasn't going to win since it was never in their divorce agreement). She got up and walked out of the courtroom much to the surprise of the judge but not really to anyone else. She went to bathroom in the hall and began throwing up. Then she asked that I drive her back to her friend's place. Before I could do that she had to sign some papers that her sister had drawn up turning custody of Ed (her son) over to her. she refused to get out of my jeep so the baliff, her sister and the notary had to go out to her in the parking lot to get her to sign them. It was really quite a scene. Afterward, as I drove her back she kept apologizing to me for my having to be involved in that and thanking me for sitting next to her. I told her that Aspen and I had planned to take her out for ice cream after school today. She shook her head. I asked if she was still going to be around for the girl scout meeting on Tuesday night. She shook her head. I knew at that point that her plan was to get back on a plane ASAP. I asked if Aspen could call her at the number she had been using recently (her boyfriend's) whenever she wanted. She didn't know if she would be near that number. I asked her to therefor call Aspen whenever she could. She said she would do what she could. Tonight, after Aspen, Ed, their stepdad and I have dinner out together (the 1st time that they will be allowed to go near him in the last 4 weeks) I plan on sitting Aspen down and go over with her in as much detail as possible what she and her mother did together at my place Sunday night. It may have been the last time Aspen will see her in a very long time. If I have any regrets over the last 24 hours it was not get a couple of pictures of Aspen and her mother. Had I been thinking faster on my feet I could have stepped in and asked permission from the judge to speak on her behalf when I saw she was not going to be able to sit across from her ex without cowering and leaving. I am certain that she will not be back for her ex's assault trial in late October and I highly doubt that she will be showing up for the pending custody trial I have against her. In short, your guess is as good as mine as to when she will be heard from again. Anyone have any idea how I tell this to my daughter???