FEELING VIOLATED

New scenarios and subsequent emotions continue to arise within the context of this ever evolving situation. Aspen's mother has left her children behind in the care of friends and family under the premise that she is getting professional help with some 'disorders'. Help that when pursued diligently will enable her to be a better friend and mother to those in her life. Help that will enable her to make better, more reasonable and appropriate life decisions. This is an admirable and acceptable reason for an extended absence in my book. I have told Aspen that her mommy wishes she could be here but for the time being but her seeking help is important and takes time. Aspen seems to understand this and accepts the situation surprisingly well. But last night when Aspen's mom calls to say 'hi' to her, she talks to her for 4 minutes then turns the phone over to her new boyfriend who proceeds to talk with her for 10 minutes before the phone battery goes dead. Now if I were in her shoes where I had to be away from my kids for an extended time, when I had the opportunity to call them and spend precious minutes contributing to their lives the small amount that I am restricted to, I would take myself in a closed room and really try to be a part of their days and weeks getting a feel what is happening in their worlds. I would not have the conversation in front of others and I certainly wouldn't hand the phone over to my new lover/friend to spend 'get to know you' time with someone they only met one time. In my opinion the last thing Aspen's mother should be doing at this stage is trying to get her kids absorbed in her new life far away. Why? Because Aspen is of the mindset that her mother is away working on herself, not starting a new life with new friends. What is that going to tell Aspen about why her mother is away and what she is doing in lieu of spending days with her daughter when she puts new friends on the phone with her? I try my best to be objective and maybe I'm only seeing a perspective that I want to see. I have nothing against her new boyfriend personally. With all the warnings he has received from us who know her, I find it a bit foolish of him to still be involved with her but I suppose he's still a nice guy. But it would be so easy for me to want Aspen to have nothing to do with him regardless. She has no need for a second stepfather at this point, and that's what he would be to her in her mind. I would like your honest opinion. Don't simply placate to a blogger friend. In your objective opinion, am I being too restrictive or worried about Aspen talking on the phone to her mom's new boyfriend? Thanks