WHY I DON'T LIKE TALKING ON THE PHONE

I will update tomorrow or Wednesday on the Aspen situation. In the meantime I will brief you on another front of my life. The Tish situation... While it may seem that Tishy and I are compatible in all the important areas, our phones seem to have a different opinion on whether or not we should be an 'item'. Over the last few weeks, Tish was having me believe that my phone was deteriorating from the inside to the point where my using it at all to contact her was more aggravating for her than anything else. Apparently I sounded like a robot whenever it was me calling her. This meant that I would call her, talk to her for a moment, listen to her complain about my phone then suggest she call me back so my romantic talk doesn't sound like C3-PO in heat. I believed her complaints were legitimate because toward the end of the day when my phone had been off the charger for several hours it was difficult to understand her too. The voice quality was not clear, her articulation would come through with piss poor clarity at best. Like she had downed 4 too many brews before calling me. So, wanting to do anything to appease my muffin-puffin, I went out and bought a new phone. That ran me a total of $260 what with all the surcharges and fees and accessories and new ringtones etc; not to mention 2 hours of my day off to wait in line with all the other numb nuts who dropped their phones in the lake while reeling in that 6 lb bass or used them as outlets of frustration in their most recent domestic disturbance situations (always good people to wait in line with!). So when it's my turn to talk to a service representative I ask "What phone do you have that will make me sound human and my girl friend sound sober?" Of course she tries selling me on that really expensive looking and really expensive phone that does everything short of acting as a defibulizer in the case of an emergency. But my heart is in good shape so I go with the next model down. After getting all my little black digital book re-entered and all the appropriate ringtones assigned my first order of business is, of course, to call my num-nums and let her know that I shelled out the big bucks to ensure she would be more satisfied with our conversation quality. And what's the first thing she says? "Damnit Brico, you sound like a robot. Let me call you right back." So now you can all check out her site to see when she gets a new phone!