You may know that the currently crab infested Sissy B's baby's daddy is away. She is lonely and hurting. Since 80% of the attendees of a NASCAR event are 'male' (and I use that term loosely) and since probably 50% of them live within a few hours of where Sissy B resides, I felt this a perfect opportunity to scope out some potential 'better halves' for our dear preggers blogger friend and let her see what's out there waiting for her.
Sissy, I have carefully weeded through the 85 + thousand 'male' race fans I encountered this weekend and below is a list of who I have come up with that might make a potential good match for you.
Good Luck!
- Luther - 24, self employed, inventor, avid fisherman, father of 3, requirements in a partner: "she gotta know how to scale the fish"
- Burt - 26, salvage yard owner, avid collector, no children, requirements in a partner: "huh?"
- Jethro - 27, mechanic, avid burner of things, 7 children, requirements in a partner: "no front teeth"
- Luke and Jeb - 32 and 34, 'hired hands', avid gas siphoners, 6 children total, requirements in a partner: "hoo-ee! she gotta be in good shape!" "yeah, no fatties"
- Ethel - 25, Burger King Line Cook, avid gossip, no children that she knows of, requirements in a partner: "i like 'em shaved!"
- Zeke - 21, campground owner, avid crawdad griller, 18 children, requirements in a partner: "if she still got alls her toes then shes ripe fer the pickin"
- Mearl - 30, power washer, avid metal detector operator, 3 children, requirements in a partner: "she gotta love her some dutch ovens"
- Bo - 26, deck builder, avid critter ridder, 4-24 children, requirements in a partner: "she oughts to be clean. bathe at least once a week"
- Hank and Hank - 17 and 18, unemployed, no hobbies, no children, requirements in a partner: "asdoi imphhh herterble burk!" "strimp! herterble burk kalani!"
- Scooter - 21, hog farmer, avid beer can crusher, no children, requirements in a relationship: "im easy to get along with. just no freaks is all."
So there you go Sissy B, don't be too discriminating now. Let us know who is the lucky guy who gets a date with you and tell us how it goes. We look forward to a follow up. |
