Ten Things I’m Thinking as I Watch Fellow Passengers Board my Flight

1- "Please tell me this guy with the berett and pony tail isn't seated next to me!" 2- "Yeah buddy, you're going to get THAT bag in the overhead compartment" 3- "Why didn't I request an aisle seat?" 4- "I don't think I've ever seen it this windy out before. Should be a fun takeoff" 5- "Ooh! The new Sky Mall catalog is out" 6- "Did I remember to order the vegetarian lunch?" 7- "Did our pilot's voice sound slurred just now?" 8- "Damn my back is sore, I better take 2 more Vicadin just to be safe" 9- "How on earth did this guy just fit his 500 pound frame into a coach size seat?!" 10- "Man, I really gotta use the bathroom!"