Ten Things NOT To Do at a Job Interview

For the last two days it has been my favorite time of year at the office. Job Interview Time!! This is where every yahoo, bumpkin and hamhead with a single digit IQ tries to fool 'the man' for 30 minutes with good posture, extended eye contact and not being a mouth breather for once in their life. There is nothing funner than pretending youre on the phone with clients as you watch these bottom feeders try to assimilate themselves. So here is a list of 'no no's' for the potentially employed out there that I observed first hand over the last 16 business hours. 1- tuck in your damn shirt 2- that eyebrow piercing youre sporting, remove it (i aint judging!) 3- don't show up 1 hour early then get impatient 4- if your interview is at 1:30 don't call at 1:45 and say youre going to be late. just cut your losses and move on to your next potential employer 5- wear clothes that are clean (if this means you have to change after eating then do so) 6- bathe before arriving (the people in whose presence you are waiting have a say in who's hired too) 7- DO NOT bathe in perfume or cologne (especially if you still think brut or old spice is a chick magnet) 8- articulate when speaking! "Are you hiring right now?" shouldnt sound like "Do you have a hernia in your ear?" 9- while waiting for your interview do not ask the other employees "So is the boss here a real hardass or what?" 10- maybe dont have a six pack for lunch when your interview is at 1pm