Woe is Me!

Well, my plans for my day off are now shot! I had a beautiful day for myself planned out. Kayak season is nearing an end and I was going to go out by myself and spend half the day on the lake with the new Steve Kimock album. I was going to vacuum and blow dry the dust mites out of my pillows. And I had wanted to make my bi-annual toothbrush purchase (albeit an 'annual' too late). But now those plans are all changed. I will be spending the day at the emergency room. I apparently am suffering from a combination of lack of sleep, high stress, and some kind of rare aural canal parasite (not unlike the one that went into Kirk's brain in that Star Trek movie). I am not experiencing any pain yet but there is an unmistakable symptom that has me very concerned. When I woke up this morning and turned on CNN, on the screen was Dubya talking about Katrina. And this is what I heard: "...And to the extent that the federal government didn't fully do it's job right, I take full responsibility." I know, crazy right? I'm wondering if its even a good idea for me to try to drive. I'm not so familiar with this particular aural parasite that must be working its way through my inner ear canal and inching near my cerebral cortex, so I don't know how much time I have left while I'm still in control of my important bodily functions. Maybe a few hours, maybe only minutes. Oh how I'd love to hear the same old Dubya up there grinning stoopidly at the podium stammering through how 'Brownie' is doing a "heck of a job" and how "No one could have predicted this scenario". If I could just hear those words or even words more evasive, bizarre and inconsistent from our Alpha Male, then I would know that tomorrow still has a rainbow for me. Wish me luck dear readers. I'll need your support. This parasite is apparently highly reproductive. Please take care of yourselves, if you hear anything of this sort over the next few days where the Federal Govt actually sounds like it's taking responsibility for it's failings, get yourself to the nearest emergicare ASAP!