Ten Reasons I didn't Pass Police Officer Training School
| 1- Kept telling the captain "Go ahead punk, make my day" 2- Kevlar underwear was not standard issue 3- Asking "Where do I sign for those hollow tip cop killer bullets I heard about?" raises some red flags with 'the man' 4- Saying politely "I smell bacon" everytime the sergeant walked by wasn't as funny as I thought 5- Shouting "Lets fry us up some illegals!" is apparently frowned upon 6- Repeatedly asked the female trainees "You wanna play T.J. Hooker? I'll be T.J.!" 7- Was overheard saying "Thank god those lame ass drinking & driving laws no longer apply" 8- That whole 'license to kill' thing is apparently just in the movies 9- Couldn't stop answering the radio by saying "This is Roscoe P. Coltrane!" 10- Laughed out loud "Let's see that bitch try and not 'repect my Ah-Thor-Ah-Tay' now!" Labels: Ten Things |
said the voices in bricotrout's head around 11:34 AM
Comments on "Ten Reasons I didn't Pass Police Officer Training School"
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Belly said ... (Tuesday, September 20, 2005 1:58:00 PM) :
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Anonymous said ... (Tuesday, September 20, 2005 2:22:00 PM) :
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BUMBLE!!! said ... (Tuesday, September 20, 2005 3:28:00 PM) :
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Cade said ... (Tuesday, September 20, 2005 4:08:00 PM) :
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bricotrout said ... (Tuesday, September 20, 2005 4:14:00 PM) :
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Wendy said ... (Tuesday, September 20, 2005 4:25:00 PM) :
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... said ... (Tuesday, September 20, 2005 4:35:00 PM) :
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Mara said ... (Tuesday, September 20, 2005 4:46:00 PM) :
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Spinning Girl said ... (Tuesday, September 20, 2005 4:58:00 PM) :
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jamwall said ... (Wednesday, September 21, 2005 12:06:00 AM) :
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Belly said ... (Wednesday, September 21, 2005 12:22:00 AM) :
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Pirate said ... (Wednesday, September 21, 2005 11:10:00 AM) :
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Pirate said ... (Wednesday, September 21, 2005 11:10:00 AM) :
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Webmiztris said ... (Wednesday, September 21, 2005 11:29:00 AM) :
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bricotrout said ... (Wednesday, September 21, 2005 2:30:00 PM) :
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Mellissa said ... (Friday, September 23, 2005 4:27:00 PM) :
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fyrchk said ... (Thursday, September 29, 2005 1:08:00 PM) :
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Leesa said ... (Thursday, October 06, 2005 4:09:00 PM) :
post a commentI have read this a few times now and I really don't see what the problem is. You show signs of being an excellent Officer of the Law...I never understand america...
My brother wanted to be a cop for a short while. When I asked him why he shrugged and said, "I like donuts."
11. The idea of carrying a nightstick became just a little too phallic and masturbatory for me, and besides, I was tired of God killing kittens.
LMAO. "I smell bacon." I love your Top Ten Lists, man.
This has made my Top Ten list of my favorite Top Ten lists. :P
belly,
im going to have to ask you to step out of the car and depants please ma'am
rabbit,
i like punching donuts
dan,
10,017! DAMNIT!!!
sweets,
ahem, there IS a way we could avoid giving you this ticket today you know...
Oh Occifer! You're killing me! Numbers 4 and 9 brought me right on back many a year!
see, this is why i developed my mad skills for cops ;)
mauffn - this word is kick ass, a name for a special lesbian act
It does help to have a cop for a father though...
I was a veritable speed demon.. always getting stopped for something. I would just hand them my license, registration and one of dad's business cards..
They would always look at it and say "what's this"... I would sigh and say "my dad, go ahead and call him.. but don't say I didn't warn you"
::smirk:: He taught most of them at the academy as well and they knew not to cross him... I usually got a warning.. LMAO and once I got a DATE!
good giggles!
Also not good: hip hoppin' around saying, "me da po-po, me da po-po, me da po-po..."
i think its because you got two important things mixed up during the academy training and that's why you were (at best) qualified for rent-a-cop type work:
1. FIRST, you yell stop
2. SECOND, you shoot
see, brico, you got the two things backwards....how are they supposed to hear you yell "stop" if you've already blown their brains out!
eh???....something to think about.
dhohbv <--- bob was pulled over and arrested for a dhohbv
Ummmm, you pulled me over for being without pants in the first place. I cannot rightly depant without the aformentioned pants being in place prior to the pull over. Or something terribley complicated like that.
I think donuts are yummy.
And number 11. Does this mean I have to get rid of my bong?
And number 11. Does this mean I have to get rid of my bong?
they never let me in either. when I'd pull people over and would find weed, I wouldn't be able to resist the urge to pocket at least SOME of it. ;)
wendy,
just the facts ma'am...just the facts
femi,
i see youve been practicing for sentence saturday. that is a quite vivid definition. awesome
H20pixie,
that guy was risking it all by asking you for a date. he could have ended up on pet patrol for a year
spinner,
lol, in contention for the ten was continuously singing NWA's "Fuck the Police" while in the cafeteria line
dale,
its that kind of thinking that gets our boys in trouble! you gotta protect your boys!
jam,
i have that written on the front side of my trigger on my gun. thing is, i have to pull it back first to see what it says. its a catch 22 really
belly,
i meant depants ME!! duh! its insubordination like that thats going to get you locked up in the trout mobile for 40 minutes!
pirate,
as long as you got a margaritaville sticker on your car, thats as good as a free pass as far as im concerned
webmiz,
you need to pull over pirate. sounds like you two are a good match
julia b,
ill wait until the end of huricane season then ill consider it
addict,
tell your daughter to watch her step! and you too missy! i know an apple doesnt fall far from its tree!
Great post. I laughed so hard on this one.
LB
I know I'm late posting to this, but I'm reading you for the first time. This list actually made me say, "Oh my God," out loud and giggle.
The TJ Hooker reference cracked me up.
I like this:)