7/06/2005

Ten Things I Learned the HARD Way

1- motorcycle tailpipes are way too hot to stand on (age 5)
2-when sleeping without a mosquito net in Honduras, the rats that are crawling over your sleeping bag are ALOT bigger than they seemed at the time (age 24)
3-nails hammered into a board will pass effortlessly through skin if stepped on (age 11, 18, 21)
4-baggies can be used in place of proper contraceptives (age 17)
5-pennies take five days to pass through your system (age 4)
6- girlfriends arent impressed with the fact that you can ride a bicycle by standing on the top cross bar with no hands if your dismount results in a broken wrist (age 19)
7-pregnant women do not appreciate having their womb likened to a swimming pool even if the comparison was made solely on a basis of function (age 29)
8-telling your boss to "shut it" is not a good idea (2 weeks ago)
9-getting your jeep stuck in the mud costs $85 for a wrecker to get it unstuck (age 35)
10- a kittens claw stuck in your eyelid hurts about as much as standing on a hot motorcycle tailpipe, but takes alot longer to undo (age 22)

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