Rusty Nut Telegraph

FLOWER FLY

2010-08-05T22:04:00.000-06:00

Taken in my mom's backyard.

"DIDN'T LEAVE NOBODY BUT THE BABY"

2010-08-01T22:41:00.006-06:00

I do have permission to post this. I just wish I got her name and number too.
Now, if anyone can tell me why I named this pic, O Brother will I be happy!

The Matrix... or... Call # 1000 tongues

2010-07-31T17:35:00.002-06:00

If you look back to the earliest months of The Rusty Nut, it was a photography oriented blog.
Back then i Had the highest end Pentax SLR camera. 35 mm film of course. My hobby took a nose dive when I bought my first 1 mega pixel digital camera and appreciated the ability to take as many shots as I wanted with no developing expense. The quality of the pics was horrific... but it was free. I eventually moved up to a 10 mp point and shoot digital camera which was fine for family and casual shots but worthless in pursuing one of my true loves... the real art of exposure, composition and depth of field.
A few weeks ago I finally bought a digital SLR Pentax camera. And today I honed in on my favorite old photography subject...
Rust.

TEN THINGS NOT TO ASK AT AN INTERVIEW

2010-02-06T17:14:00.002-07:00

As I have been searching for a new job I have had the benefit of doing a few 'practice' interviews.
Well, they weren't technically supposed to be 'practice'. In fact they were pretty decent jobs that I would have loved to take a shot at and woulda been quite successful at.
And I nailed a few of these interviews too, nevertheless I received the 'were pursuing other candidates' letters.
This has offered me the opportunity to reflect at where I might have slipped up in the question/answer scenario and to change my approach to selling myself to my potential future employer.
So far this list is all I could come up with in trying to uncover what I may have said that failed to convince the interviewer I was the ideal candidate for the job. I know it's not much, certainly not enough to get my resume tossed into the 'no thank you ' pile.

1-Does your company offer a complimentary 12 step program?
2-How do the babes rank in this joint?
3-Is there gonna be an issue if I wear the same underwear every day? I got this superstition about it.
4-What's your policy regarding On-the-job gambling?
5-How often do you conduct annual reviews?
6-So when do I start?
7-How much do you rake in asking me all these personal questions?
8-What's the record for the shortest amount of time someone's worked here?
9-Does the company health insurance cover domestic abuse?
10-How much longer is all this gonna take anyway? I mean, this is just a formality right?

TEN THINGS BRICO IS PONDERING RIGHT NOW

2010-01-30T22:46:00.003-07:00

1- How come my ears have hair growing on them but the palm of my hand has never had hair grow on it?
2- Is my getting severe calf cramps in the middle of the night something I have to put up with from here on out?
3- Now that my daughter suffers from 'that time of the month', is having 3 bags of supply under the cupboard sufficient or should it be more like 8?
4- Will congress extend the COBRA subsody bill in time and if not will they retroact it from the previous cutoff date when they eventually do?
5- Why do so many benders Google search 'Keith Urban Gay' and come to this post of mine? (of course it's photoshopped 'anon' you twit!! hes got titts for christ's sake!!)
6- When will Rush Limbaugh die?
7- When will Sean Hannity die?
8- Would they eventually name me a national hero if I killed, dismembered, buried then burned the bodies of Rush and Sean?
9- Is Michael Buble cool or just a hack?
10- Should I have just one more rum & coke before I turn in or two more and a Tylenol PM?

TURNING THE REIGNS OVER FOR A GOOD CAUSE

2010-01-18T19:17:00.003-07:00

I had an idea that we absolutely must run with for the Haitian situation (see the prediction 2 posts ago).
We want to make necklaces out of the rubble of the presidential palace. The only overhead costs would be the cost to power an electric drill to make the holes and the cost of the string itself.
But we need assistance getting access to the rubble.
We have tried contacting some news stations and the idea has not met with any interest amongst those who could potentially help.
I have to believe that $10 for a necklace made of the rubble would meet with good success.
If you know anyone who knows anyone who might be able to help us secure 75 pds or so of the rubble of the palace please let us know!
Somebody out there has a neighbor who has a son who has been deployed there who has access to the grounds.
This can work, but we need that missing connection to get us the product back here to Colorado. If you know anyone who can help, please let us know.
Thanks!
Aspen (and my dad 'Brico')

AGNOSTICS OF THE WORLD UNITE

2010-01-17T17:17:00.003-07:00

Okay, I know I'm gonna offend some people here.
Bug, it aint personal! You're a beautiful human being and represent all that is right with organized relgion... but you're in the minority.
I have for years and years been dismayed and confounded by those who look at a child being pulled out of the rubble after 6 days of being buried in an earthquake as a sign of the 'grace of god'.
I am a logical person and refuse to accept what I am told as 'fact' simply because I was told it. I have to... HAVE TO... analyze, critique, ponder, weigh and disect anything before 'accepting' it into my belief system.
And as I have tried to teach Aspen, it is importnat to be able to defend your belief system to others rather than just saying "Because that's how I was raised."
And I am bamboozled by otherwise logical, thoughtful and intelligent people who refuse to use reason in their thought processes when it comes to faith. All of a sudden the rules of reason do not apply and blind acceptance are the rule for many.
So when a person sees that saved child rising from the concrete dust and they praise god and claim the event to be evidence of god, I need someone... ANYONE... to explain to me how that same logic and reason behind those same people neglect to blame god for all the suffering and death in the first place.
"Hi, god here... I'm about to kill off thousands of my creations with the wave of my hand yet, there will be a little girl who will only be partially crushed. After 6 days she will be saved and even though she will lose her legs I will be praised as having been behind her survival and repsonsible for her prolonged life rather than blamed for her being forever constrained to a rusty wheelchair and a life of agonizong turmoil and pain in the first place. Everyone praise my name!"
Why do we see 'miracles' as indisputable evidence of god yet refuse to see clear tragedies as the proof of a lack of god?
Somebody explain that... ONE logical person please!

JESUS JUST THREW UP A LITTLE IN HIS MOUTH

2010-01-15T18:33:00.003-07:00

There are reasons that I am agnositc. I have had teachers, like the man below, who have shown me that morality, compassion and love have nothing to do with a belief in a higher power. You can find ignorance, fear and hatered within the walls of a church or temple or synagogue and you can find the most selfless acts of courage and love at the hands of those who don't give god a second thought.
Words like these below absolutely blow my mind. Not that someone might think or say or even believe such fables, but that such ignorance can be so widely accepted and appreciated that funds to keep this kind of rhetoric alive continue to pour in from otherwise intelligent and successful people.
This is what I came back to the blog world for???

ASPEN QUOTE #41

2010-01-14T20:51:00.003-07:00

We're in uncharted territory here. In the past I could always post Aspen's quotes with no consequences. They were almost always at my expense and the subjects werent embarrasing to her. I have to keep up this great segment but now the subjects are slightly more... sensitive. I have to find a balance between vagueness and detail so things make sense...

Aspen is now on her 2nd prescription of BC to try to establish some regularity in her cycle. Things worked like a charm for the first round but now all of a sudden, a visitor appeared way off schedule. No days were missed.

I did some checking and learned about 'breakout cycles'. I explained this to Aspen and told her that the Dr. may simply need to prescribe a higher dose. He may have misfigured her weight...

"Are you saying I'm pudgy?!" she demands with arms crossed and a tear in her eye.

"Oh yeah, he DEFINATELY underestimated the required dose! Can they combine that with a sedative?"

WHY OH WHY

2010-01-13T15:22:00.002-07:00

I remember being glued to the devastation on T.V. of the tsunami footage.
There was video footage of that disaster that awed even the great James Cameron.
Footage of an earthquake is not so captivating. It's either of stuff falling off grocery store shelves or swinging ceiling lights in a news room.
It's the after footage of earthquakes that's more... 'remarkable'? And usually that is best caught in stills rather than video.
So now I'll be mesmerized for days to come of our earth's power and the futility of our efforts to harness/combat it.
Aspen and I will sit together and watch the footage. She'll see the stray homeless wandering dog with a broken leg and be heartbroken. I'll see a father cradling his dead child and do my best to not look away as I hold onto her a little tighter.
Then she'll come up with some idea as to how to help these people and animals 1/4th of the world away. And I will do my best to add my ideas to hers to make it more feasible while still trying to make it sound like it was really her idea.
Then I'll post the summation of that idea on The Nut and look to you all as inspiration to ensure I see it through and not drop the ball.

Then I'll be forced to pour myself another strong one as I accidentally hear snippets of Hannity, Beck and Rush blame the earthquake on Obama.
"Come on guys! I thought he wasn't God! Make up your mind!"

TEN THINGS THAT HAPPENED OVER THE LAST YEAR

2010-01-12T17:37:00.000-07:00

It's been one solid year since our last post here at The Nut. Many things have changed (our outlook on life) and many have stayed the same (our underwear).

So what better way for us to start things back up here than by going to an old classic...

A Ten Things List.

So here we go:

Ten Things That Happened Over The Last Year

1- Aspen started... that woman thing (if I ever end up missing, it's cause she found this post)

2- Got a new car (yup, the beloved Jeep is gone)

3- Increased the workout regiment

4- The dog got herself a pet cat

5- The cat got itself a pet fish

6- Aspen now scores in the 96th percentile for her age in national standardized testing

7- Aspen won a citizenship award at school

8- Miguel (you remember him?) got married

9- Friendships have steadily solidified ( :-P + )

10- Aspen's brother, Ed, enlisted in the reserve, qualified for special forces and was promoted to E3 ranking faster than his superiors remember anyone having done before.

It wasn't the most exciting year. Nobody really missed anything by us taking a break here for a year. This year already looks to be a bit more exciting.

My company is closing it's Colorado Springs doors at the end of March so it would certainly look like I will have a new employer (sooner than later please).

Aspen will start middle school in the fall whcih probably means a boyfriend isn't far around the corner.

And she is set to get braces come winter (I've got some picture frame wire so I might try to do that myself and save some money, we'll see).

Anyway, don't expect The Nut to be as regular or 'showboaty' as it was in it's heyday. This is a maturer and mellower Nut.

Maybe even wiser, we'll see.

INDEFINITE HIATUS

2009-01-13T21:25:00.002-07:00

The Rusty Nut is shutting down for an undetermined amount of time.
We wish you all the very best with your lives, families and writings.
We at The Nut are taking a hiatus from the net (aside from email and weather).
Everything is peaceful.
You've all been supportive and informative beyond compare.
Take care.

Brico

LIGHTS... CAMERA... ACTION!

2008-12-17T21:52:00.003-07:00

Seems there's a plethera of potentially good movies on the immediate horizon.
1- Doubt (Phillip Seymore Hoffman rocks!)
2- Frost/Nixon (another addition to 6 degrees of Kevin bacon)
3- Valkyrie (Cruise is still a brainwashed deuge!)
4- Slumdog Millionaire (!)
5- The Reader (!)
6- Seven Pounds (Will Smith in a rare movie without monsters)
7- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (even though there is no naked Jennifer Aniston in it)
8- Rock n Rolla (has Guy Ritchie made a bad movie? other than his private bedroom collection I mean)

ODDS & SODS

2008-12-14T14:58:00.005-07:00

Aspen leaves on Saturday for AZ to be with her mom older brother and younger sister for the holidays.

That will allow me to do my x-mas shopping after the holiday when the real deals appear.

Thanks for all the recommendations on the facial junk stuff.

I still am petrified that without a significant female presence in her life as the teen years approach, she will be an awkward outcast who doesn't know a... uh... um... well, I dunno, some-kind-of-item-that-only-a-woman-would-know-what-it-is from some-other-item-that-only-a-woman-would-be-able-to-identify-which-is-completely-opposite-in-appearance-and-has-a-very-different-function-as-well.

See?! See?! I'm going to end up raising the main character in 'Carrie' for Christ's sake!! I don't want to die of a heart attack beside a bathtub in an old run-down house while trying to put my child out of her misery!!*

I can raise a child and teach him/her values and math and how to floss but I have no business trying to raise a pre-teen girl into womanhood. That would be criminal.

Anyway, I was able to ignore all those red flags long enough to trek up to Denver last night with Sean (Colorado version of Miguel) at the last minute to go The Black Crowes show. It was my first concert since moving out west.

It was somehow karma's reward for my having to sell my BC tix I had waited in line for back in Charlotte many months ago.

Although, Karma had me drive home at 1am in a snowstorm for an hour.

Speaking of snowstorms: Aspen absolutely loves the snow. She never got to see much of it in the south. She got her first snowboard for her birthday and looks forward to going out and getting good at it.

That I can help her with.

*in case my ex tries to use this 'confession' in a future court case citing my tendencies of homicidal thoughts in order to regain custody... that was a joke and was meant for entertainment purposes only!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETY!

2008-12-08T08:51:00.004-07:00

Today Aspen turns a decade old.

I am a better person thanks to your presence in my life.

Thank you for all you have taught me.

Kissees for my Snugums!!

I love you,

Daddy

p.s. And stop growing already! Shoes and clothes aint free!

HEY BRICO, WHERE YOU BEEN?

2008-12-06T19:33:00.009-07:00

At work!!
But it's all good. I'm on the fast-track to a promotion... the optimistic side of me would think.

My mentor had someone who has more time on the job than me shadow me on Friday to give him pointers.

That would be a good sign, right? And what's more is I kinda like the job. I defininately like the people I work with and the company itself seems fairly dedicated to it's employees.

I'm way ahead in all the marked areas of expectations for someone in my tenure.

But I don't want to get too cocky or sound like I'm blowing my own horn...

Heh heh, hey Kalani! I said 'blow'.

Where else have I been?

Aside from buying X-mas gifts at Sears at 5 in the a.m. on Black Friday, you mean?

Then I have been preparing for Aspen's best-friend (Natalie)'s and step-dad's visit for her B-day.

They flew in from SC on Friday and leave Monday. Today we had Aspen's party at a bowling alley...

And might I take a moment to preach that 'RSVP' means 'Respond So Very Promptly'. And that's whether you plan on coming or not! Party planners need a head count, folks! If you get an invitation that says 'RSVP' then YOU FUCKING RESPOND, people! You pick up your god damned phone and call the number and say 'Thank you, yes we will be delighted to attend.' or 'No, regrettably we will be unable to attend this year."

This is one of my pet-fucking-peaves! there is absolutely no excuse in the world to not be curteous enough to respond to an 'RSVP'.
So Aspen was able to invite 3 friends (other than her best-friend visiting from SC). One was ethical enough to let us know she could make it. The others... never said a word and didn't bother showing up. So, we could have invited 2 others in their absence IF THEY HAD BOTHERED TO CALL!!

There, I'm off my soapbox... until next year, I reckon.

Tomorrow we take our guests on a tour of Garden of the Gods then head up to Denver to Casa Bonita (the restaurant that is cool enough to have a South Park episode based on it).

Fortunately, it snowed 3 inches the day before our guests landed and over the weekend it is 55 degrees.

Perfect.

ODDS AND SODS

2008-11-29T21:47:00.004-07:00

Aspen and I did our annual T-Day tradition of putting up the holiday tree and trimming it. She has been quick to note that it has been snowing on and off every day since.

She got her first sled yesterday and we took it out at 7am this morning while the rest of the city slept. how come she never gets up that early on a school day?

We went to the San Diego Ballet's production of Nutcracker today and Aspen and I agreed that it blew chunks compared to the Charlotte Ballet's version (which we have attended faithfully for the last 6 years).

Aspen's step-dad and her best friend from Charlotte come out for her b-day this Friday. She is very excited. On Sunday we shall go up to Denver to Casa Bonita. If you are unfamiliar with this place then check out the South Park episode that is centered around it. Coolest restaurant ever.

New job is going well. Am looking to graduate 'training academy' faster than anyone in recent memory. Does that mean I'll get fired faster than anyone in recent memory too? I had managed to save up enough hours so far that I was able to get Friday off and enjoyed a 4 day weekend. Sadly, we were just notified that the company will likely move to another location in town down the road. No big deal... except right now work is only 1.5 miles from home and right next door to Aspen's school. I went from shelling out $600/month on gas to $120. Hope we don't move too far away.

Aspen's mom brought up the details of her going down to AZ for the x-mas holiday season. Somehow she got the idea that it would be okay for Aspen to fly out of DIA. That's in Denver. We live in Colorado Springs.

I don't think so. I immediately looked up direct flights from the Springs to AZ and found a flight on the agreed upon dates for $197 after all taxes and fees. Am I the only one who thinks that isn't an unreasonable price?

I emailed her the flight number and suggest she look into it. Havn't heard back from her yet.

On that subject: Aspen came to me crying the other week. She was upset that her mom had told her she had no idea why we moved out to Colorado Springs. Aspen was already well aware that her mom had been emailing me prior to the move encouraging us to move out here. That it would be easier for her current husband to get a job out here than it would be for him to get a job in Charlotte. Aspen knew this because I let her read her mom's emails to me on this topic a few months ago.

I have very strong opinions about Aspen's mom. Not very positive ones at that. But I have always held my tongue, wanting Aspen to form her own opinions about her rather than simply listening to me. However, in this case I did confirm her suspicions that her mom tends to lie by encouraging her to ask her grandfather, her brother and her step-father about their experiences with her. I think it important that Aspen not feel she is the only one with whom her mother is less than honest.

I watched Aspen's mom destroy her relationship with her son by lieing through her teeth to him as her relationship to her 4th husband fell apart in the midst of her infidelity. Now I start to see the entire process repeat itself with my daughter as well.

It reminds me to be as honest as I possibly can with her and to never make false promises. I think she is starting to see that I can be entirely trusted... even if I do keep forgetting that I am no longer allowed to walk into her bathroom while she's in the tub anymore.

Speaking of Aspen's brother, Ed, he has enlisted into the Army reserve. He goes to boot camp after the holidays then starts college classes. I hope he will join ROTC while in school so that when he graduates he will be a commissioned officer rather than enlisted.

Doesn't make a difference nohow though. The Mayan calendar ends in December 2112.

In other news, I got up at 5am on black Friday and grabbed myself one of them newfangled digital picture frames from Sears for my desk at work for $37. I never thought I would own one of those monstrocities of art but when you have limited space, they're rather practical.

Finally, thanks to all those who commented with advice on the last post. Witch Hazel it is... and whatever book it is that Sissy B recommended; obviously it doesn't have a chapter on birth-control.

STEP-BLOG-MOMS OF THE WORLD UNITE

2008-11-23T15:11:00.002-07:00

Aspen turns 10 in 2 weeks. No longer a hemoginous child she somehow has become a woman in waiting. And seeing that I have never been able to make heads or tails of the female species, I fret for what kind of woman she will end up growing into on my watch.
With no mom in her daily life to teach her about all the essential 'female' knowledge I can't help but think she will be a boat without a rudder in ever increasingly dagerous waters.
Forget the obvious 'chick' products that are just around the corner. It goes without saying I'm not a beacon of light for her in that arena.
What is of more concern for me is teaching her about behavior. 'Signals', for one thing. Again, I am completely illiterate when it comes to reading dames. Seeing that it does not come naturally to me to read signals, I am presuming that it doesn't come naturally to someone to give them off... or more importantly, to refrain from giving them off!
She is a very trusting being at this point. Perhaps just a bit shy and a tad unsure of herself socially. But alarmingly, I have seen her in certain settings where she will attach herself to a stranger's side (a male stranger... an older male stranger).
The recent time was when we took the dog to a fenced dog run. Right away she struck up a conversation with one of the dog owners about his pet. 15 minutes later I noticed she was sitting on a bench still talking to the guy.
Nothing against the guy. He was just being nice, I'm confident. But we all know there are times when a guy is going to not only misread but will take action on such social cues.
This is just the tip of the iceberg as to what I fear I might either innocently neglect to instruct my daughter on or not even be aware of the fact that there is something I should be instructing her on.
On a lighter, but not totally dissimilar note, Aspen got her first 'makeover' yesterday. At a Clinique counter. Apparently she has skin type 1.
There are different skin types?
See? See what she's up against with me at the helm?
So she is no longer to use soap on her face.
She is to use a 'cleanser'.
Okay... since when isn't soap a 'cleanser' anymore?
And there is a difference between a 'lotion' and 'moisturizer'?
Can't she just use alcohol wipes to clean her face like I did when I was young?
Does anyone want to recommend a 'cleanser' and 'moisturizer' that doesn't require a layaway plan for a 2.5 ounce bottle?

ASPEN QUOTE #40

2008-11-18T20:42:00.005-07:00

Tonight at dinner:

"Daddy, what do you think is more important in a wedding ring, the band or the shape of the stone?"

Daddy: "Um, I dunno... the band I guess."

Aspen: "No wait, the size of the stone is the most important!"

"Is there something you're wanting to tell me?!"

SOME RECENT GRAPHIC WORK

2008-11-12T19:01:00.003-07:00

My longtime friend, disc golf partner and Republican soapboxer's son has a band of whom I volunteered to some photography and design work for so they had some halfway decent promo poster for their local 'gigs' (like that? I may be 40 but I still show my hipness by using 'bad' terms like 'gig'... and 'bad').

This was the result of a 1 hour photo shoot and 2 hours of playing around on photoshop.

I had nothing else to post so... enjoy.

A MESSAGE TO BUSH AND CHENEY

2008-11-04T21:56:00.003-07:00

When my grandchildren grow up and look on their on 6th grade wall to see the pictures of all the U.S. Presidents in a row, they will see names like Washington, Lincoln, Jackson, Jefferson, Kennedy and Reagan. They will then see the name Bush; And beside the name 'George Bush' will be a name different sounding than all those prior to it on that wall. And with that name there will be a face distinctly different in appearance to all those that came before it.
And my grandchildren, in their wisdom and curiosity and insight will inquire "What transpired in that previous administration's term that caused voters to make such a radical change from over 200 years of 'tradition'?"
Mr. Bush, Mr. Cheney, what answers do you think my grandchildren will uncover to that question?

I DON'T GET IT

2008-11-03T20:47:00.002-07:00

For the last couple of weeks I have been parking at work close to a car that has a bumper sticker which reads 'Thank You George Bush'.
The first time I saw it I got the joke and laughed and laughed and clapped and wanted to meet the person(s) who had found this obvious sarcastic bumper sticker.
Then, a moment later, I saw the McCain bumper sticker next to it.
They were serious?!
They're really actually thanking W?!
Did I miss something over the last eight years?
Or did they miss everything?

HALLOWEEN 2008

2008-11-01T17:23:00.003-06:00

Aspen and her grandmother worked this week to create a Pocahontas outfit for Friday evening's activities. She stayed over at her new best friend's house as I went out to celebrate being over-the-hill. What did I do?
I went home and was asleep by 10pm.
But I was up by 5am!
Just like the old saying goes.

HAPPY 40TH TO ME!

2008-10-30T21:23:00.002-06:00

Halfway done with this ride we call 'life'.
Time to start the annual colon exams.
Time to take care of the joints and focus on low impact exercise.
Time to stop looking at the 22 year old hotties and thinking 'mmmmm'.
Time to focus on retirement funds.
Time to stop watching Family Guy religuously.
Time to get life insurance.

Time to get to bed... it's 9:30 already.

A MESSAGE TO ONE OF THE MAIN PARTY CANDIDATES

2008-10-30T09:13:00.003-06:00

One of you has run one of the most pathetic campaign's in recent U.S. history. Your opponent has significantly less experience than you. Your opponent has spent close to 7 times as much as you on his campaign. Your opponent has had some significant uphill battles to climb regarding prejudices (regrettably). He has run probably the most brilliant campaigns in the last 100 yrs and unarguably is the darling of the 'liberal' press.
Thanks to how the current President has destroyed your party, by all accounts you should have been washed up in this race 3 months ago. Yet, you remain only a few points down in key states.
Here's the thing: There are enough undecided voters out there to put you over the top this Tuesday.
But you're not talking to them!!
You go from campaign stop to campaign stop spouting off the same old rhetoric and soundbites that gets your fans to cheer for you and boo your opponent but completely fails to address those thoughtful and cautious would-be voters who you need in order to win the office which you seek.
Who is running your campaign? Why on earth do you feel it is better to continue to placate to your base?
You already have their votes!!
Figure out why the undecideds have yet to make up their minds for once! They are not being swayed by the months of your name calling and half-truths. If they haven't moved to your opponent's side yet then they are obviously giving you a chance to sway them to your political philosophy.
So, why do you insist on believing they will buy your rhetoric if they hear it just one more time?!
I am a fan of democracy. I want every citizen to have their vote. And I want each voter to be educated on the issues and know the candidates in detail. You're insulting the populace by assuming the undecideds can't handle a real discussion on where you stand on the issues or you don't have any real platforms and you're trying to fool everyone else.
Please, for the good of yourself, the country and for the well being of democracy itself:
Stop the meaningless 10 second soundbites and talk in detail about how you will do things differently than the current administration and your opponent!
How you will pay for the tax cuts you propose?
Why is it economically sound to give tax cuts to those you propose?
How will you encourage energy companies and auto manufacturers to increase the availability and usage of renewable fuels?
What will you do to build back the U.S.'s standing in the world community's eyes?
Why do you still think the invasion of Iraq was the right thing to do even though we now realize all the reasons we had been given were entirely fabricated?
Answer these questions honestly and candidly and you might win over the undecided voters rather than turning them off.

6 DAYS TO GO

2008-10-28T21:43:00.002-06:00

Six days to go until Sean Hannety and Rush Limbaugh can stop defending the way things have been going and can start complaining about the way things are going.
They must be so excited.

FROM THE LENS

2008-10-23T21:35:00.005-06:00

I wanted to post a few more pics than this but the reception I am leaching off of is inconsiderately 'iffy' so this is all I could get up tonight (yeah, laugh it up Hound!).

The snow from Wednesday has melted and Aspen is left to wonder when a real snow is gonna fall.

I turn 40 next week. I was disheartened when I turned 20 and 30.

Now... I could give a shit. I relaize now I feel just as young and healthy as I did when I was 30. I think I look only a few days older so what the hell does a number have to do with anything?

I JUST CAN'T RESIST...

2008-10-20T21:44:00.002-06:00

Yesterday Sarah Palin was quoted as saying...
"We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard-working, very patriotic, pro-America areas of this great nation. This is where we find the kindness and the goodness and the courage of everyday Americans: those who are running our factories and teaching our kids and growing our food and are fighting our wars for us, those who are protecting us in uniform, those who are protecting the virtues of freedom.”

So...
There are large pockets of a 'fake' America?
With people who don't work hard?
With people who aren't patriotic?
With people who are anti-America?
Where you do not find goodness nor courage?
Where the factories are run by no one?
Where there are no teachers in the schools?
Where there are no farms?
Where no one volunteers for the military?

Hmmm...
I've never visited, lived in or even driven through that fake America.
And I've lived in Maine, California, Colorado, Nebraska, North and South Carolina, Missouri and Minnesota.
I wonder where this other America is.

Please: Stop the divise and pointless dribble and focus on real issues on the campaign trail.
It's beyond pathetic already

CONSECUTIVE POSTS AND PICS FOR THE FAITHFUL

2008-10-19T13:52:00.004-06:00

So...

I could post about how good the new David Gilmour: Live in Gdansk cd is... (good).

I could post about how the new McCain attempt to paint Obama as a socialist for his 'distribution of wealth' comment, is nothing but a distraction from real issues seeing that McCain's plan of lowering taxes for the rich is exactly the same thing: 'A redistribution of wealth'! (but some of you dissapear for 26 days at a time when I talk politics).

I could post some details about the new job... 'yawn'!

I could post about Aspen and my mom working together on her Halloween costume (I'll wait until it's done and there are pics).

Instead, I'll just post another pic from yesterday... Mom and Aspen enjoying a canyon view on an autumn afternoon.

A FALL DAY IN A COLORADO STATE PARK

2008-10-18T18:42:00.007-06:00

I got some good pics today at a state park junkette with a digital camera under $250 (the same one I've had for over a year). I would LOVE to have a digital camera (8.0 mp) that runs about $700. Man! The shots I could get with that SLR!

Anyhoo, I'll post a few pics over the next week from the last week. Fall is my favorite time of year and Colorado is my favorite place to spend it! Sure, I miss the crisp temps of the cooling South Carolina lakes in October but nothing beats the color of a rocky mtn. foliage!

Week one of job orientation is done. Only three more to go. I'm liking it so far and the advancement oportunities and benefits are great. I look forward to the future.

BTW, I'm sorry I haven't stopped by anyone's site in years. I miss my old blog buds who are in hiding: Sissy, Addict, OCL, Dawn, Hound, Red, Doc, Fyrchick, Tiff, Chrisea, et al. Hope you're all well!

p.s. Do I look well? I've lost 25 lbs since my diet. Would love to gain at least ten back.

OH LODY, PICKA BAILA COTTON

2008-10-15T20:37:00.002-06:00

Started the new job this week. We have one month of job orientation. That's four fricken weeks! The next president elect will be done with their job training before I am.

I'm in a group of 13 who seem like a good bunch of folks. Look forward to working with them and ratting them out when it benefits my job security or possibility of job advancement.

I am in sales for the time being but should be able to move into the graphic design department in short order.

The bonus is that work, Aspen's school, our pad and my mom's place are all within 2 miles of eachother. How convenient!

Aspen is beside herself waiting for the first snow. She has rarely seen it and can NOT wait for it to fall. She will want to stay home from school just to play in it for once.

YOU CAN NOT BE SERIOUS!

2008-10-10T17:12:00.002-06:00

Recently McCain supporters have loudly expressed extreme anger, dismay, frustration, disbelief, shock and horror at the possibility of Obama becoming the next President.
Really? Horror? Seriously?
Does anyone actually and honestly believe that an Obama administration will be more dangerous to our standing in the world and leave our country in more disarray than the current administration?
Really?!?!
I mean, Obama has his shortcomings and probably won't be much more effective at getting us out of Iraq or turning around our economy than any of the 16 parties/candidates on the national ballot, but...
Really?!?
More dangerous than Bush/Cheney?
Come on!!!

TEN THINGS TO CONSIDER CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU VOTE FOR PRESIDENT IN NOVEMBER

2008-10-07T09:51:00.004-06:00

1- Voting Republican will only reward the party in power for their attrocities over the last eight years. If another Republican is elected into office now, what will they think they can get away with this time without consequence?!!
2- There are 15 other parties (candidates) on the national ballot this year besides the ones you can name off the top of your head.
3- Does your candidate have a truly clean bill of health and a likelihood to live through his/her elected period?
4- If you answered 'no' to question 3, is your candidate's running mate really capable of running a country?
5- Is being an expert in seductive winking a useful skill in foreign policy negotiations?
6- Is your candidate looking forward to "putting the topic of this financial crisis aside" as far as a topic on the campaign trail so they can continue with character bashing their oponent?
7- Does your candidate offer a massive tax reduction for the top 2% of the U.S. populace but not the middle class?
8- Does your candidate think it is more important to know how to vote yes to a 'surge' or how to vote no to an illegal war?
9- Now that our country's reputation has taken a heavy hit (putting it mildly) across the globe, which candidate has a better chance of being trusted and welcomed into meetings with world leaders?
10- Does your partie's ticket rhyme with 'Insane*Failin'?

DON'T JINX IT

2008-10-02T16:20:00.003-06:00

It's a good sign that after a job interview is over and you are being shown the door that the interviewer continues to explain the training process in depth... isn't it? By this time tomorrow I should know whether or not Aspen and I can eat something other than bread and butter for dinner or if I will be a statistic to be used in the next presidential debate.
Oh, Aspen was brainstorming what we could be for Halloween this year... she figured I could be Count Dorkula.
Nice!

EXPERIMENTAL DRUG TESTER? I CAN LEARN THAT SKILL!

2008-09-23T18:54:00.004-06:00

Thirty Days.

One hundred hours of job searching.

Forty resumes & cover letters sent.

One interview.*

For Doc's sake, I will not make this a political post (but it would be sooo easy!).

I do not suggest anyone out there quit their job before finding a new one at this point.

That short enough for you doc?

*I passed the interview but it required travel which as a single father is not a viable option.

DOESN'T DRY THE KNOOKS & CRANNIES

2008-09-20T19:02:00.004-06:00

For the last four years, up until I moved out west (and why Colorado is considered 'west' when geographically it is clearly in the center of the U.S., that's a post for another day) I have had a bathrobe hanging on the back of my bathroom door (because... where else do you hang a bathrobe?).

It was a gift from mom. I do not use bathrobes. I never have. I'm not sure that I have ever put this rather nice and cush robe on. By now it's certainly got some pretty decent hanger nipples going on.

So when I packed up to head out 'west', I did my best to get rid of stuff that I knew I never used or didn't need.

But as I said, this was a gift. From mom. Must hang on to gifts. And now that I am pretty much all unpacked and settled into the new place that same grey and blue plush bathrobe hangs on the back of the bathroom door of my new place (because... where else do you hang a bathrobe?).

Looks good though. Matches the blue decor of the room.

HITTING BELOW THE MONEY BELT

2008-09-17T19:27:00.003-06:00

Yesterday, while on the campaign trail, McCain complained "Senator Obama saw an economic crisis and he’s found a political opportunity. My friends this is not a time for political opportunism, this is a time for leadership,”
I'm confused. McCain is upset that Obama is using the current economic crisis to differentiate himself and his policies from those of his opponent?
Is McCain suggesting that the crisis is so bad that it should be out of bounds for topics of discussion in this election year?
That can't be right because McCain feels that "the fundamentals of our economy are strong."
So now all of a sudden it's a 'crisis'?
If a political candidate isn't allowed to discuss the economic status of the country, and is called a sexist if he discusses a female opponent's beliefs/policies/history/record/experience/family in any way... it sure sounds like the Republican camp is simply saying "No fair bringing up anything that might make our candidate or our party look bad!"

ASPEN QUOTE #39

2008-09-13T16:14:00.004-06:00

Thursday was the first meeting of Aspen's new Girl Scout troop for the season.

They were discussing all the activities they could do to earn various badges. When they were talking about a 'scout campover' (which is always a season favorite for the girls) Aspen heard the troop mom mention Boy Scouts being there...

Aspen: "Wait, there are going to be Boy Scouts there too?"

Troop Mom: "Yes, that's why they're calling it a 'scout campover' this year."

Aspen (dissapointedly): "Um, could we pay extra so it was just Girl Scouts there?"

You can stay up eating ice cream and watching cartoons tonight for that comment!

SEVEN YEARS GONE BY

2008-09-11T07:53:00.003-06:00

Sure doesn't take us long to remember our differences and go back to our petty divisive ways.

Will either of them stand up against lobbyists and their own party's partisanship or will they crumble in the face of peer presure once they are sworn in?

A CONVERSATION WITH HAL

2008-09-05T22:53:00.000-06:00

A text transcript between me and 'the machine' the other night...

Me: (texting to Sean's 7 digit #) "turn on daily show now"

0000000000: "Please use a 10 digit number when text messaging. Thanks for texting with Cricket"

Me: "Why? Can't you figure out if I text a 7 digit number that the area code is the same as the phone from which the text originated?"

000000000: "Your message could not be delivered. 0000000000 is not a valid wireless device."

Me: "But it's the number from which you just texted me!"

000000000: "Your message could not be delivered. 0000000000 is not a valid wireless device."

Me: "So what is your number then?"

XX9750482X: "How's Faith's Paw doing?"

Me: "So all of a sudden youre not a nameless numberless souless machine program and have inside knowledge as to my households health?"

XX9750482X: "U know i care dont give me that"

Me: "A minute ago you wouldnt listen to anything i had to say. now all of a sudden you have a soul and a personality?"

XX9750482X: "Yr gonna make me cry"

Me: "Now you feel emotions? youve converted from a software program into a kalani. Am i being punkd?!"

BRISTOL PALIN: SHE'S GOT A LITTLE CAPTAIN IN HER

2008-09-05T22:00:00.011-06:00

Of course, suddenly (according to conservative trumpeters), the actions and indiscretions (legal or illegal) of a 17 year old in no way reflect the character, dedication, quality or judgement of his/her parents...

even when they leave the liquor cabinet unlocked and the concept of condoms out of the classrooms.

This I promise to the American People: If pictures like this ever turn up of my daughter, I will readily decline any invitation to be the vice presidential nominee.

note: there is some debate on the net if these pics are actually bristol or her friends. if they are not her then consider this a retraction and an appology for The Nut's innacuracies. i trust that the dedicated family advocate and responsible parent Sarah Palin was well aware of her daughter's friends' behavior by monitoring her daughter's myspace page and that of her boyfriend from where these pics were taken and that appropriate restrictions and discussions on acceptable behavior resulted.

A MEME FROM CHRISSIE

2008-09-04T18:52:00.003-06:00

A-Z Meme

A - Available/Single? Yup, I need a significant other to babysit my daughter so I can go out on some tail runs
B - Best Friend? John Stewart
C- Cake or Pie? Pie! (snicker snicker)
E - Essential Item You Use Everyday? ipod
F - Favorite Colour? Clear (hello fellow Buddhists)
G - Gummy Bears Or Worms? Gummy Road Kill (I have 2 bags I am saving for when I find that special someone).
H - Hometown? Colorado Springs
I - Indulgence? That one hit song by Scissor Sister
J - January Or February? February (1st week of Feb is Super Bowl).
K - Kids & Their Names? 1, Aspen (please-don't-grow-anymore) Payne.
L - Life Is Incomplete Without? Seeing Tina Fey play Sarah Palin on the season premier of SNL.
M - Marriage Date? I honestly do not remember the date (month or day) I got married or divorced.
N- Number Of Siblings? Zero... and don't say 'That answers alot!'
O - Oranges Or Apples? Both, I'm a vegetarian who hates veggies so that leaves breads and fruits.
P - Phobias/Fears? None: People who harbor irrational fears scare the bejeezus outta me.
Q - Favorite Quote? "Goddamn that was sensational Brico!"
R - Reason to Smile? Long time friend Sean has a renewable hydrocodone prescription!
S - Season? Fall or Spring - Fall=Football & pretty colored leaves.
T - Tag Three People? Doc, OCL and Tiff
U - Unknown Fact About Me? I can't dance
V - Vegetable you don’t like? Just one? Lima Beans, they are the absolute worstest!
W - Worst Habit? Dancing in the shower.
X - X-rays You’ve Had? In the last 6 months: wrist, ribs, shoulder, elbow (all fractured, or seperated).
Y - Your Favorite Food? Mexican .
Z - Zodiac Sign? Scorpio

p.s. Chrissie? What happened to 'D'?

LIVE AND LET DIE HARD BATTERIES

2008-09-03T16:44:00.003-06:00

Slacker? Excuse me if leaching off of unsecured internet hotspots (until I get my own account) is spotty at best!
I know it's been a week since I posted but unpacking boxes isnt exactly blogging gold.
Aspen loves her new school and says her teacher is the best she has ever had. When asked about how it is she gives a beaming and enthusiastic 'awesome!' which clearly is coming fromt her heart. That is more comforting than anything at this point.
Comforting to Aspen is the fact that her school doesn't believe in homework at this age. Just some math work that doesn't get done in class. She is ecstatic. She is also psyched to be joining in cross country and choir for after school programs.
As for me, the boxes are mostly unpacked, though I can't find a few key things (my Aspen Edge beer mug)! I finally got Maria up and running. And here is where I learned something: When transporting a dry cell battery (the kind of battery for small vehicles in which you have to add the acid by hand to the individual cells) from one elevation to another, the battery will in all likelihood... die. And that is what indeed happened. So I had to spring for a new battery but now she is purring like a gato. Of course, this morning in Colorado Springs it was 41 degrees. Hence, riding season may just about be over here. At least insurance is significantly cheaper in CO than SC.
I'll post some pics of the new place shortly. Maybe I should work on becoming employed first. What do you say, Maria?

"PENCILS UP"

2008-08-27T19:00:00.003-06:00

It has been a hectic couple of days. Turns out the driving 1605 miles was the relaxing calm part.
Since I have taken up residency as a Coloradan once again there has been a lot to do.
Let's go over a quick list (in no particular order):
1- Got the dog vaccinated
2- Got the dog groomed
3- Bought a new mattress set & had it delivered
4- Set up an account at a local credit union
5- Finalized Aspen's registration at her school
6- Made multiple trips to the grocery store and Walmart for food and school essentials
7- Convinced the apartment mgmt that the new pad needed new carpet (being installed Friday)
8- Turned in the U-haul trailer
9- Unpacked and got situated the items that arrived in tow with me
10- Soaked in the hot tub while soaking in an unobstructed view of the most famous mtn in the U.S.
11- Went to REI and bought a book on the mtn biking trails in the Colorado Springs area (I expect some good laughs in the comments regarding the potential of this topic)
12- Got Aspen signed up for cross-country and choir (both at her suggestion)
13- Got Dish Network set up (yeah! NFL ticket!)
14- Got the phone changed over to a local number
Tomorrow is Aspen's first day of school. Her school is about a 3rd the size of her previous one. Her teacher seems outstanding! Her classmates gave her a warm welcome when she was introduced to the class the other day. Aspen has gone from nervous to excited as we spent quite a bit of time just hanging around the library and the school over the last 2 days. What's more, tomorrow is picture day.
Now I gotta work getting her hair done nicely. We'll see.
For now... I'm off to the hot tub!

NOW WHERE'S THE NEAREST LAKE?

2008-08-25T06:59:00.010-06:00

Thursday. 5pm. After having a farewell lunch for Aspen and me there was a lengthy and tearful goodbye round of hugs from the men in Aspen's life (pic). Her grandfather, her brother and her step-father could not contain themselves. Neither could Aspen. Never had I felt like such a bad guy. I tried to reason with myself as I scrambled to finish packing the trailer. Mom and Aspen were being taken to the airport by her grandfather. I too get on the road. I keep driving till 1am and make it to Cookeville, TN.

Friday. 5am. I am off. My goal for the day is St Louis. I make it without incident by 1pm and finally find a halfway not entirely repulsive motel that takes dogs by the airport. I have time to take a shower and give the dog a bath (not at the same time) before Kalani and I finally meet! We hang out until 1:30am before she has to head back to her digs. She is camera shy (what!?!) (pic) and dog-hair-oil-phobic and gets up at least a dozen times to wash her hands after every time the dog gets up and moves in her corner. I tried to get her to stay but she had work in the morning (always the poster child for responsibility)..

Saturday. 9am. After a complimentary breakfast I am bound for KC to catch up with Pablo, an old Peace Corps buddy. I run into remnants of Fay, some of the most bizarre weather I have ever encountered (pic). It is on this leg of the journey that I remember I have cruise control. What a dolt! I pop it on and instantly the muscles in my right leg relax. Even though I watch the mpg meter drop from 17 to 14, I keep it on. I get to KC a bit early and find a movie theatre near Pablo's casa so I stop in and catch The Clone Wars then grab a bite. I arrive at his place at 4pm. We spend the evening catching up. I meet his wife (also a PC vol) and his 4 month old boy as well as his 14 yr old dog and 2 cats. Sooo nice to have a real room and shower to utilize, not to mention the home cooked veggie meal his wife made.

Sunday. 8am. I am once again off. This time on the longest leg of the journey. Not an hour into it the dreaded 'check engine' lite goes on. I monitor pressure and temp and sounds carefully for a good while and conclude that it is the damn O2 sensors acting up again. No big deal but it does drop the mpg down even more. They've been giving me problems for months. I make it to the state of my destination (pic). I finally arrive in Colorado Springs with absolutely no more roaming minutes. I, Sean and his son and my mom & Aspen all get to the apartment at the exact same time. 6:15. We spend the next hour unpacking the U-Haul and getting settled. Everyone leaves a few hours later as I stay at the new place with the dog. I konk out about 11pm.

Monday. 6am. I awake, take the dog for a walk, check out the view of Pikes Peak from my balcony (pic) and post. Now the dog has to get her shots, the U-Haul has to be dropped off, the phone has to be switched over and a trip to the grocery store made.

MADE IT!

2008-08-24T21:58:00.002-06:00

Arrived at 6:15 pm Sunday. No break down. No 'incidents'. No more moving. Ever!
Update with pics (that means you Kalani!) tomorrow. Must sleep.

COUNTDOWN TO MOVE:1 DAY

2008-08-20T15:37:00.007-06:00

What a frickin day!

Ed came over at 9am with his buddy. We packed that damn P.O.D. until 3:30pm. Spirits were high in the beginning then the heat and humidity set in. We got everything in there except the mattresses and boxsprings along with a few boxes, a chair and all our clothes.

So I headed over to the U-Haul and rented a 5x5x8 trailer. There is more than enough room in that for whats left. I stressed big time last night because I was sure after doing the math again and again that even that was not going to be enough and I was going to have to leave some serious stuff behind. Fortunately that wasn't the case.

I will leave tomorrow after the P.O.D. is picked up and I drop mom and Aspen off at the airport. I will take four casual days to get there. First night I will bed down in Cookesville, TN. The next day I get to St. Louis early and will hang out with Kalani for a spell (Femi, I don't know how to get a hold of you. If you're reading this and want to meet up sometime Friday night let me know!). The next day I have a short jaunt to KC where I will stay with Pablo, a friend of mine and Miguel's from the Peace Corps. Sunday will be a helluva long drive to Colorado Springs.

Enjoy the pics. I'm exhausted. Even though my minions did most of the work.

COUNTDOWN TO MOVE:3 (maybe 2) DAYS

2008-08-19T17:30:00.003-06:00

And it's crunch time. Now the real stress begins to take hold.
The P.O.D. came today. Pretty damn small on the inside. Maria takes up alot of that space! Just like a woman, always taking up all the space for herself!
At this point I have no idea if the thing is big enough. If it all fits it will be tight. If it doesn't there may be one box of crap leftover... there may be 20. If that's the case then a whole new problem presents itself. Do I get another 1/2 size P.O.D.? Do I rent a tow behind U-Haul trailer? If so, how many days does that set me back on leaving? I was toying with the idea of leaving Thursday night rather than the long planned Friday morning cast off. I have blogger peeps wanting to meet me along the way who need to make arrangements. I have no idea what to tell them.
I am not likely to get alot of sleep tonight. I can see myself tossing and turning all night trying to fit all the furninture and boxes of crap together in a tight space like a life size Tetris game. I will know alot more come Wednesday at noon. That's when about half the crap should be loaded in.
Today, Aspen hung out with her best friend. The P.O.D. came at 9am. I spent a couple of hours loading it loosely just to save some time tomorrow. Then someone came down to buy the wrought iron chairs I listed on Craig's list.
Come 3:30 I picked Aspen up and we went to her meet-the-teacher event at her 'old' school so she could say goodbye to everyone. Then Miguel came down to have dinner with us and Ed. Now I am mentally fatigued. I need to get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be the stressful day.
To those who want to meet up on my voyage. I hope it will work out. I dont mean to be wishy washy. I just need 14 more hours to see if I need more space.

COUNTDOWN TO MOVE:5,4 DAYS

2008-08-18T18:18:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, Sunday, I packed. Then I packed more. Then I wondered how I had accumulated so much crap over the years. Then I packed some of that crap. Then I wondered if all my crap would fit in this one 8x8x16 POD.
I have come to two conclusions: 1- Yes, I think all the crap will fit in the POD. And 2- I have too much crap.
Before all the packing of the crap began I picked up Aspen at her friend's place and dropped her off at her step-father's place. So I got to spend some quality minutes in the car with her at least.
David dropped her back off around bedtime.
And that was day 5.
Today was a bit more hectic. Her grandfather came down at 8:15 in the AM to pick her up for the day. She was still asleep when he got here. So I was jipped out of more time with her.
Then I packed and dismantled more crap for 3 hours. Then I took a break and went to see Tropic Thunder (I recommend it). Then I went into work to finish up some loose ends. Then I picked up Aspen and came home. Finally I took the bike rack off the Jeep. I will transport that in the POD and get better mileage and a quieter ride on the way without it.
Keep an eye on Hurricane Fay. Her rains might be playing havoc with my packing the POD on Wed & Thur or at least with the first half of the day while driving on Friday.

COUNTDOWN TO MOVE:8,7,6 DAYS

2008-08-16T10:51:00.002-06:00

Day 8: After getting the Jeep back the day before from being being inspected and fixed up to make the cross country trip, she broke down on me Thursday night on the highway. Clanking, smoking, general signs of dissaray from under the hood. I immediately pulled over and popped the hood. A broken serpentine belt! In a Jeep that usually means a busted water pump too. Towing to my service station ran $95. To fix the belt, the water pump and a faulty tension pully (the source of the problem) ran $500.
Day 7: Non-stop packing and organizing. Last day of work. A sending off party of sorts was thrown for me. Sold off the remaining goods I had around the workplace to the suckers who still dwell there for money day in and day out. In the evening a close co-worker stopped by to hang out for a few hours. I found out too late that Smashing Pumpkins are in town. How did I not see this anywhere?! Miguel hadn't either. The show sold out shortly before we decided to try and go. Oh well. Jeep still not ready for pick up.
Day 6: And Aspen returns!! Or at least, someone who looks like her. She grew an inch at least! She looks like more and more like a woman these days. Won't be long until I'll be scowling at every male who looks her way when we are out and about. "You can look the other way punk or do I need to help you?!"Her co-founding girlscout troop members took her out to tea and scones only 30 minutes after she got here. After that, her best friend came to pick her up to stay over for the night. I can't believe she isn't even going to stay one night at home first. The Jeep is supposed to be ready shortly. Ed is taking me to pick it up. Then, more packing.

COUNTDOWN TO MOVE: 9 DAYS ('cause i can't count)

2008-08-12T18:48:00.003-06:00

Seems I have trouble counting how many days till I move if the number of days is more than the fingers I have (10 last time I counted with the assistance of an abacus). So it is actually 9 days left. I am able to deduce that now that we got below 11. I didn't post yesterday because I spent the day double and triple checking my numbers just to be sure.
Anyhoo... still working on getting everything with Aspen's new school settled. We should know for sure Monday if she was able to get into our first choice school. According to administrators there are plenty of 4th grade spaces left. So it shouldn't be an issue.
Got a date/time set up with the satellite dish network at the new place for the day after I get out there.
Tomorrow the washer/dryer are being picked up as well as the blue kayak... sniff. The yellow kayak as well as the kayak rack is being dropped off to their new owner on Thursday.
Miguel and I took the kayaks out this evening for the last time. Damn shame.
We go biking for the last time on Saturday. I will be going back to the trail that fucked me up good 3 months ago. It's going to be soooo sorry!!
Two days left of work! The boss' granddaughter is taking over my spot. She's been gone for a week. She has yet to be informed that she will have a 6 day work week now that things are being changed up due to my departure. I wish I could be there tomorrow to see her face when she gets the news. And she's gotta work late on Fridays! Ha!

COUNTDOWN TO MOVE:13 DAYS

2008-08-10T20:42:00.004-06:00

Packing, packing and more packing was the name of the game today. I know I'm way ahead of the game at this. I will have 5 days of next to nothing to do after my last day of work on Friday (boy howdy it sounds good to say that! {I know I typed it there but I dictate to myself when I post... keeps me company, so technically I said it too}) to get all the little things done, but I can't sit around on a day off and not use the time wisely as days get smaller in number.

Were up to 46 of those plastic tubs now. See how each one has been meticulously stacked in an out of the way corner after having been thoroughly circumambulated (howd I do there Sis?) in shrink wrap to ensure safe passage? In accordance with that demonstrated anal retentiveness, each box has also been labeled in sharpie in the upper right corner with a room name and a general description of the contents. Furthermore, a rating of 1-4 has been written on each so as to indicate it's weight and whether it should be toward the top of a stack (the lighter ones - Aspen's Webkinz collection) or at the bottom (the heavier ones - my gold).

Moving on... today began my start of registering Aspen in her new school district. I have the immunization records, county issued birth certificate and court papers giving me full custody. All of which will be needed. Still need to get the proof of residency from the apartments.
The pictures show just how far the packing is coming (looks like Q-Berts ecosystem right?! Anyone? Anyone? Who's a product of the early 80's video games?).

And a pic by Sean of the next complex we shall be calling home.

On a lighter note, I did take some time to myself today as Ed and I went to see Pineapple Express. Very good movie! Seth Rogan with a big budget is kinda bizarre. Him and Kevin Smith need to team up on a project.

2008-08-10T19:17:00.001-06:00

COUNTDOWN TO MOVE:14 DAYS

2008-08-09T20:34:00.002-06:00

As stipulated by the new complex, I have to have renter's insurance along with a 100K liability policy before moving in (liability for what exactly I'm not too sure... if I burn the place down my insurance pays for it?).
Got that done today and management will have the proof sitting in their fax when they come in Monday morning.
Got some more packing done. I'm beginning to have my doubts if the 16' P.O.D. I'm renting will be big enough. May have to end up renting a U-Haul trailer to tow with the Jeep at the last minute.
Work is winding down. Starting to pass off alot of my regular paperwork to the other guys as I won't be around to see it all through to completion.
Aspen comes back Friday, my last day. Should have plenty of time to get packed up at that point.
Ed and I are spending some time together tomorrow. Gonna see Pineapple Express then go kayaking. Gonna try to take a complete day off from the move and just relax. This shit is stressful. And it will only get worse after the move and the UNpacking begins.

COUNTDOWN TO MOVE:14 DAYS

2008-08-08T20:19:00.002-06:00

I forgot to mention on the '16 DAYS' post that I took the jeep (Black Jack) in for a thorough inspection to make sure she was ready for a cross country jaunt.
She needs new front rotors, new plugs and cables, oil change and a fuel system cleaning. That translates to $379. Not bad. Could be alot worse!
Today I scheduled the dates with P.O.D.S. for the drop-off and pick-up. I am not mentioning to management that there will be a huge storage container in my parking spot for 3 days. They are pretty strict about those things (which as a resident I am thankful for... keeps all the dregs in line). Once it's here they won't really be able to do anything. They already gave a glowing reference to the new complex.
I'm gonna be at the new place for 4 days before my stuff gets there. Those are gonna be some fun hours for sure. At least Sean's son will be available on that Saturday to help lug the washer & dryer & couch & dressers & mattresses up to the 3rd floor when the van finally arrives.
I was psyched to learn I have a storage area. That means I wouldn't have to store the mtn bike in my place all the way up on the 3rd floor... until it was revealed the storage place is on the 3rd floor. Oh well, at least it's not in the apartment.
I wonder, are there any readers/fans/foes of The Nut who live in close proximity to my route (I-24) near Louisville and/or (I-70) near Kansas City that would be honored/disgruntled to host a not-so-famous blogger for a Friday or Saturday night?
Speak up! If I find out after the fact that you're out there and you didn't say something...
I'm blocking your IP!

COUNTDOWN TO MOVE: 15 DAYS

2008-08-07T19:29:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was about as stressful as a day without death, fire or severe hemorrhoids can get. Just when an answer looked like it had presented itself as to how I could secure the aforementioned apartment with a better view that wasn't available for 2 weeks after we arrived, a larger problem presented itself.
Seems my credit was not adequate to allow me into the community, period (that's a story about my ex and her selfishness best left to another day).
Everything came to a grinding halt. Was this going to be an unfixable problem no matter where I sought residence?
Fortunately no.
Today, my application was accepted at an even swankier dig (according to friend Sean who has been helping scout out potential places).
All parts fit: close to Aspen's grandmother, still in the best school district in the city, available at the right time, for the right price, they accept pets and have garages available.
Granted, the location is not as close to a park as the previous pad but it will do.
Yesterday the decision was made to go with P.O.D.S. as my moving service rather than Budget who I was scheduled to use.
If you add in gas, they were essentially the same price yet I don't have to drive a 24' semi for 3 days. Not bad. And with P.O.D.S. I have a month to unpack rather than 1 day.
Did a bit more of the breaking down and packing of stuff yesterday too. House is starting to look emptyish.
Finally, the computer got a serious virus and I gotta up and reformat the whole thing.
Fucking cyber pricks! I'll kill them all!

COUNTDOWN TO MOVE:17&16 DAYS

2008-08-06T03:51:00.002-06:00

Yesterday: Not alot was accomplished move wise. Continued to be in touch with the apartment complex in Colorado. Began to consider a different apartment (same complex) with a better view. Thing is: It won't be ready for 2 weeks till after I get there. Don' t know if there is an easy solution to storing all our stuff somewheres till the new place is ready.
Also spent the evening using up the rest of those 18 gallon plastic tubs (that's each tub is 18 gallons; not 18 one gallon tubs) with the packing.
Finally, thanks to Craig's List, I sold my washer & dryer, one of the kayaks, and my microwave.

Today: On Craig's List, I list my Black Crowes tix and Indigo Girls tix for sale (seeing that we won't be here when they come around), as well as a few other items I don't want to lug off to God's Country.
I buy 10 more of those plastic tubs and continue the packing (which I am way ahead of schedule on seeing that I will have a full week with nothing to do after I quit work and before we set sail).
I stop by the utilities offices and post office to cancel my accounts and pick up the change of address forms.
And this morning (not related to the move) I have my blood work done to see how my cholesterol and triglyceride levels have changed since my diet.
While there, I shall fill out the forms to get copies of our complete records to take with us.
Then I stop by our dentist and get those records.
Finally, I stop by Aspen's step-dad's. He was pretty distraught when I told him about our move and has talked about cancelling his birthday party which was to be held on the day before Aspen flies out. I shall write him a letter of thanks for all he has done for her over the years.

COUNTDOWN TO MOVE:18 DAYS

2008-08-04T19:39:00.002-06:00

I DID go biking yesterday (maybe for the last time in NC and with Miguel). I did NOT rehurt my arm (sorry Tiff) and I was in much better cardio shape than I thought I would be. Let that be a testament to the workout value of jumping rope (jump roping?)!
After the ride I checked out the truck rental place. I was wondering if I would be able to get by with the 17' van but I definately need the 24'er. At least that mystery is put to rest.
Talked to the doctor's office about getting mine and Aspen's records. Did the same with her school but they only release that to other schools.
What if I was going to home school her? What then huh?!
Applied for an apartment in the best school district in town. Should hear back from them in 72 hours.
And that's all that was done today.
Aside from work... I pretty much checked outta there already. Run.ouy.the.clock.situation.

COUNTDOWN TO MOVE:19 DAYS

2008-08-03T11:07:00.005-06:00

Only recently having gotten back most of the range in my shoulder, elbow and wrist from being stoopid on a mtn bike, today was the first day of 'packing' (BTW: later this afternoon will be the first time I get back on a trail again too. How funny would it be on a scale of 1-3 that I re-injure my arm so as to inhibit me from being able to pack?!)
This morning, before it got to be 95 degrees with a mugginess index of 'fuck me!', I went to the garage to start an inventory of what, if anything, could be thrown away or given to someone who wants junk. I found a couple of unused large plastic tubs (the kind you see in target for $7), dusted them off, brought them in and began packing books and cd's. Now I'm off to by more of said tubs to keep the pace going (I know they're more costly than cardboard boxes but damn if they're not a million times easier to work with and carry).
My last day of work is the 15th. I pull up anchor and cast off on the 22nd (Even though there is no lake within infinity of where I will be living, I think I'll hang on to the boating metaphors if you scalawags don't mind).
I have informed most of the kinfolk hereabouts of the pending venture. Told Miguel Friday night. He knew it was coming at some point so there was only a mild reaction from him that it was happening when it was (BTW: Once the move is complete you will see the name Sean popping up frequently. Like a brother, he and I have known each other, worked with each other and worked for each other for 25 years).
Anyhoo, the next few weeks are going to see The Nut serve as a journal for the move.
Enjoy and learn with me about what not to do when preparing for a new chapter of your life.

CH CH CH CH CH CH CHANGES... 'or'... TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT!

2008-08-01T03:26:00.002-06:00

...'or' THE TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGING.
Every post you have ever read here at The Nut was typed up in this very room (thus I can legitimately say "Here's where the magic happens").
I have resided at this same residence for six years... me... a bachelor... anyone want to clean under the couch or behind the fridge?
I have had the same job for eight years to the month.
I have resided in the greater Charlotte area for ten years to the month.
Yesterday, all that changed... or began to change anyway.
The move to Colorado Springs has been expedited (spell check there please Sissy).
I mean super expedited. Day of departure is in 3 weeks.
That's alot of shit to take care of in that time. From lining up a new place to securing C.O.B.R.A.
From getting Aspen registered at a new school (the international school blocks from where we live has a 4th grade opening!) to selling off a bunch of crap (including VIP tix to Indigo Girls and Black Crowes! sniff).
Oh yeah, and finding a new job. Almost forgot that part.
The decision was made just over 24 hours ago.
I gave my 2 weeks notice yesterday (I'm too nice! With the shit I have put up with I was more than justified to give 5 minutes notice. And I still would have gotten a recommendation from the owner who likes me).
The rest of the team was bummed, knowing full well that I am the rock of the group and that the B.S. will only get worse and less bearable with me gone.
I warned the boss that the store needs to not replace me for the sake of the team and let them absorb my duties. Unfortunately, he ignored my advice and made the immediate decision to move up a shady character from warehouse. A terrible decision that will come back on him exponentially (think I'm going to stay in email and text contact with the others for a play by play analysis of how things disintegrate in my absence? Hell yeah!)
Yesterday also consisted of me talking to Aspen's mother (who is bringing Aspen back in 2 weeks from Phoenix). Always the poster child for reason and sound judgement, my ex tried to suggest that it would be an easier transition period for Aspen if she went to school this next year in Phoenix while I get settled in Colorado. Then Aspen can move to Colorado Springs the next year and go to school there.
Please, if anyone... anyone sees the logic in her philosophy of a child having an easier transition by going to 3 different schools in 3 different states in 3 years (being uprooted twice within a year) rather than just doing one move and only changing schools once I beg for you to say something and point out where her thinking is right and mine is wrong.
Yesterday also consisted of working down the price on a moving van, telling Aspen's family out here of the plans (including her brother), making a time line and checklist and basically not sleeping a wink after the decision was made.
Aspen will be told today.
The hardest times in my life were changing schools. I did not integrate well. I wish I could have worked the timing so Aspen was present for the first day of school. Alas, she will end up missing the 1st week. I'm not a praying man but I will try any tactic in an effort to make this as easy as possible for her.
That includes taking on the responsibility of her dog 'Faith' who has always resided at her step-father's. Months ago when I told her there would be a move to Colorado at some point, she said that would be fine as long as we took Faith.
Well, there it is. The biggest news to be announced here at The Nut in Quite.Some.Time.

I'M TO BE SOLD! HOW TO DO THE APPLY?

2008-07-27T16:49:00.003-06:00

With my resume on a few of the job seeking websites I am susseptible (feel free to correct my spelling Sissy B, you need a job too) to the occasional 'odd' job offer. Strangely enough, I wasn't being offered the job of 'proof reader' or 'translator'.

Dear Mr\Mrs
We are glad to take you invitation in possible cooperation with our company and build successful business together.
You personally were selected among big quantity of pretendents by our HR managers looking through your resume and Curriculum Vitae at the job seeking websites. Our managers did this choice, because it seemed to them that you are the most suitable candidate for work in our team.
Our business group, PFS Inc, is looking for cooperative, efficient people with the reliable attitude to job.
That is why, we would wish to see you a member of our team.

The email goes on for paragraphs like this with essentially no description of duties, job title, or even the business'... uh, business.
All I can deduce is that apparently my skills are fairly high in demand in the 'escrow' field in Poland.
However, I will agree that I am an 'efficient person with the reliable attitude to job'.
How many people can say that?!

A WEEK IN THE HOSPITAL AND A DESTROYED MARIA

2008-07-23T18:58:00.002-06:00

Is what some people were probably expecting (if not hoping) would be the title of my next post after a week of no word from us here at The Nut.
Well, Maria did get a flat tire and I did burn myself (again) on her tailpipe. Other than that, nothing much to report.
Doing a bunch of the applying for the jobs in the Colorado. Trying to make the ends meet in the bad economy. Laughing at the idiotic soundbites from the Bush (high gas prices are a good thing; it's causing Americans to drive less) and The McCain (trouble in the Iraq Pakistan border region *look at a map if that's not immediately funny to you*).
Working extra hours trying to keep myself out of trouble (and the emergency room).
Seeing New Monsoon Thursday night, Widespread Panic Saturday and Mark Knopfler Tuesday.
Did I mention that I got me and Aspen VIP seats for Indigo Girls in September? She's excited for that.
Honestly, I can't think of anything else to bore you all with. I sit out in the hammock and either read, listen to tunes or watch South Park each evening. The hammock's big enough for 2 if anyone wants to venture this direction at all.
But I can't promise you won't get burned by a tailpipe.

MEET 'MARIA'

2008-07-13T05:52:00.007-06:00

It occurred to me yesterday while searching my data banks for a name for my new toy that it would make sense to name her after the character 'the bride' in The Bride of Frankenstein (for what I believe is an obvious reason). Trouble is, I'm not aware of Elsa Lanchester's (the bride's) character's name in that story.

As it turns out, 'the bride' was never given a name.

"What a shame." I thunk to myself, "That would have been perfect!"

But hold on! In the story, before the character becomes transformed into 'the bride' she is known as Mary Shelley, the same name as the woman who penned the original story Frankenstein.

Combine the name 'Mary" with my propensity to convert names into their Spanish translation (Brice = Brico {pronounced bree-koe}) and we have 'Maria'. Combine that with my affection for Hispanic culture in general (not excluding the women!) and we have our name!

And, as the frosting on the cake... Green Day and The Gipsy Kings have already provided us with theme songs for her ('Maria' and 'Bem, Bem, Maria' respectively).

So, as of today, my bride is Maria, with her 2 white streaks passing through her black hair. A beauty that was created seemingly solely for me... the unlovable and hideous monster that no one else will have...

except Kalani.

TEN WORDS I HOPE WILL DEFINE ME AFTER I'M GONE

2008-07-11T08:33:00.003-06:00

1- Good sense of humor (I know this is a phrase and not a word, Sissy B! Don't you have a litter to nurse?!)

2- Compassionate (I gotta work on this one, it's easier read than done. Right Doc?)

3- Carefree (yep, I nailed this one!)

4- Wise (I'm a wise-ass, just gotta work on the ass part a little)

5- Dedicated father

6- Reliable

7- Responsible (Back doors can't get pregnant)

8- Honest (Never told a lie)

9- Logical (In all seriousness, Spock is what I aim for but I can't even do the 'live long and prosper' finger thing yet)

10- Sex-a-rific (I think so far I've gotten up to 'sex-a-ho-hum')

WHAZZAT WITH THE WHO NOW?

2008-07-09T20:53:00.002-06:00

1- Still haven't found the perfect name for the cycle yet. Keep throwing those names out there please. Remember: There's a prize involved.
2- Are you serious? Glen Beck is going to have a stand up special broadcast like a live concert in select movie theatres across the nation? Are you serious? How big is this guy's ego? I don't keep this joker's endless sarcasm and ignorant ideology (a surefire way to keep school shootings from happening is to arm the teachers!?!?) on the t.v. for 5 seconds when his mindless ramblings are for free. And now someone thinks I will pay to listen to his dribble?! Are you serious?!
3- Don't know what Jessie Jackson said about Barack... don't care. Has anyone taken the good reverend seriously since he read Green Eggs and Ham live on SNL years ago? You couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting someone who's life is more meaningful than his. Can we move on already?
4- This is soooo unlike me but... Hellboy II looks pretty cool... yeah, The Dark Night too. I know, I'm a dweeb... but Kalani would still do me.
5- A few of you have asked about the impending move. Looks like it will happen but probably not till next summer. Trying to live on the lake as much as possible until then.
6- Shoulder, elbow, wrist and ribs are getting back to normal. Still haven't gotten back on the mtn bike yet though. I know, I'm a scaredy cat... but Kalani would still do me.
7- Does anyone know when Sissy B's next due date is yet?
8- It's my bed time.

CONGRATS TO SISSY B AND SOLDIER BOY

2008-07-04T20:32:00.001-06:00

TEN THINGS I'VE LEARNED ABOUT RIDING IN THE LAST 2 WEEKS

2008-07-01T10:15:00.003-06:00

It had been 15 years since I last owned a motorcycle.
I had remembered a few key things and am learning or relearning several new ones.

1- Having a 1 seater won't do you any good in taking chicks at the bars who are too drunk to drive on rides back to your place to 'sleep it off'.
2- The power nod/wave (where 2 passing riders acknowledge eachother in some way as a sign of solidarity): Mo-ped, Vespa and other scooters do NOT get acknowledged by bikers. In the same way surfers do not recognize knee-boarders.
3- Real bikers are able to fill up their tanks at the gas station without getting off the seat or getting gas dribbling down the outside of the tank (I'm still working on this one).
4- When popping the clutch from 1st to 2nd, hold on extra tight.
5- Unlike 4 wheel vehicles, turn signals on bikes do not automatically switch off after a turn is made. Be alert, lest people will think you're asian! (I'm still working on this one)
6- If you choose not to wear riding gloves on a sunny Carolina summer day, you will get sunburned from your large knuckles to your wrist.
7- It's always important to make sure your reserve tank switch is on the proper setting so if you run out of gas, you have an extra 1/3rd gallon to get you to the next station (most cycles dont have tank meters to tell you when you're almost out). I've learned this lesson already.
8- If a cop stops you and asks why you were doing 53 in a 35 zone... responding "I am dislexic." doesn't get you out of the ticket (it was worth a shot).
9- It's hard to find the right comfortable riding get-up for the day when it is 55 degrees in the morning on the way to work and 95 degrees on the ride home.
10- Do not, under any circumstances, go into a Harley parts store (even if it is only 1 mile from your home) and ask if they have accessories for a Suzuki.

MAY I EXAMINE YOUR DIPLOMA 'DR.' DOBSON?

2008-06-25T06:04:00.006-06:00

Why on Earth do I want to move back to Colorado Springs?! Sure, Pikes Peak, Garden of The Gods, Air Force Academy, foot of the Rocky Mtns, best friend Sean, my mom... it's all there for the good times to be had.

But then, Focus on The Family and delusional cult leader James Dobson also call Colorado Springs home (for the record: I was calling the place home looooong before they tainted the soil there).

During the campaign, Obama accurately stated (and I'm paraphrasing) "It would be impractical to try to govern based solely on bible scripture. Even if The U.S. was 100% Christian, which version of Christianity would dictate govt policy? Al Sharpton's or James Dobson's?"

Makes perfect rational sense to us grounded thinkers.

Dobson (for some reason, many months after Obama's original statement) 'stabbed' back at Mr. Yes-We-Can by saying that Obama is deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the bible with his own confused theology.

Let's put aside the argument for a moment that if you have any theology period then you are automatically confused. We'll just look at Obama's statement plain and simple and compare it to Dobson's retort:

Not only would it be impractical it would be illegal to base laws solely on any religious doctrine. Thank you writers of The Constitution!

Doesn't sound too confused to me. In fact, I would say that anyone who finds this statement and/or view 'confusing' is he himself rather unfamiliar with the inconsistencies in the bible and the sound wording of The Constitution.

Obama also stated that people should not try to create laws/bills based solely on scripture.

Dobson took particular 'confusing' offense to this (absolutely correct) statement by arguing that by Obama's logic no one should be able to fight for anti -abortion or other laws that are found to be against god's will because they are in the bible.

Not quite, James.

Many of our laws (murder for example) are 'sins' according to the bible but they are not laws because they are in the bible. In fact murder has been found to be illegal in various society's throughout history before the old testament even existed and by cultures that had no knowledge or care what the bible said. Murder is illegal in China as is the bible.

Murder is illegal because the immorality of killing stands on it's own, easily passing a common sense smell test not because it is one of the ten commandments.

Dobson and everybody else has the right to petition the government for laws that are based on logic and common sense and even morality. But the bible, no bible, has a monopoly on moral teachings.

If the government is to pass a law (abortion, lets say), it can not pass it based on scripture teachings. Therefor, one can not base the argument to make it illegal on scripture teachings.

One does not need a law degree to get from point A to point B there.

If the government is to 'illegalize' (shut up! I just made it a word!) abortion it must do so on sound evidence that the practice is immoral. Therefor, the petitioner must provide evidence that it is immoral. Fortunately, opening up the bible does not constitute 'evidence' of anything in our court and judicial system.

There is no more place in our system of government for a Christian to petition a law based on their bible's teachings than there is for a Hindu to do the same based on the Bhagavad Gita's teachings. All you burger lovers should be thankful for that.

Again, all laws passed or even petitioned need to stand on their own merit as logical and moral... not because a fictitious 'god' mandated them. Otherwise, The U.S. constitution might as well be burned and the country's name changed to Afghanistan.

So, 'Dr.' Dobson, it is you with your distorted theologies and constitutional contemptuousness who is attempting to run amok with our freedoms... not Obama and his sound judgemement infringing upon yours.

DEATH, FINES, THERAPY, CROWES AND MMJ

2008-06-24T06:04:00.004-06:00

I miss George Carlin. Not only did we think alike but we looked alot alike. I trust Comedy Central, or some network at least, will do a special 1 hour tribute to him within the week. Comedy is inherently edgy but Carlin was the guy to push the envelope, daring to cross lines that no other in the field would. I will always remember him as Cardinal Glick in the movie Dogma. Who else could have tackled that roll with such confidence and gusto? The comedy joints in Heaven are rejoicing at their new headlining act tonight.
I got a speeding ticket yesterday while out and about on the (as of yet un-named) bike. Had her less than a week. But it weren't my fault! The tank bag I purchased for her obscures the speedometer! Hence, I have no way of knowing how fast I'm going! I told this to the 'officer' when he asked why I was doing 53 in a 35. At first I tried to tell him I was dislexic and got the numbers backwards. He was less than conciliatory. Why do I still have to pay the $120 court cost if I opt out of going to court and just want to pay the fine? Taxation without representation anyone?!
The physical therapist has me doing isometrics on my shoulder. I guess we'll move to the elbow and wrist in coming weeks. I think she's recommending me to a different specialist entirely for the stupidity issue. I'll probably bail on that appointment, unless it's court ordered of course.
Waited in line for 3 hours Saturday morning to buy Black Crowes tix. They're playing at a tiny little dive in November for 2 nights. Already made a profit from the unused tix I bought to cover the expense of the 2 I'll be using. Please don't confuse this with scalping (honestly)! The tix could only be purchased at the theatre that morning, not through Ticket Master or any other national site. Hence, by my grabbing extra tix and selling them on Craig's list I was performing a service for those out of the area unable to secure tix themselves. The extra $ was for my time and effort and waiting in line at 6:30 in the AM on a Saturday. Anyhoo, thanks to my business clairvoyance, I get to see both shows without any ill effect on my wallet.
Finally... this song gives me hope for the future of both rock and roll.

if Kalani is allowed to show endless Fugazi and Ben Harper videos then I can show one once in a while too!

THE ULTIMATE TRUTH/COMEDY

2008-06-23T06:24:00.003-06:00

If you've got a moment, enjoy this quick bit. I could have been famous if Ol' George hadn't already made these observations. I have thought these exact lines many times before. The soapbox of truth is missing one heck of a speaker now.
Say 'hi' to god for me buddy.

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!

2008-06-17T06:19:00.002-06:00

I love Craig's List!!!

This baby went up for sale last night. Having been checking the site neurotically for the last week finally paid off! I saw this gem 10 minutes after it was listed. I scurried down to the seller's house 20 minutes later. By the time I got there there were two other potential buyers also trying to get there as fast they could. Fortunately, The Trout-man lived closer than those rat bastards.

I won't say how much she cost but it was less than $1501.00! She's a customized '88 Suzuki Savage 750 with a lowered chassis. She rides as smooth as she looks.

Now for the fun part...

I am allowing you all to name her!

The only stipulation is that it has to be a female name no more than 2 syllables.

Leave your submissions in the comments. Leave as many as you like. When I hear the right name I will announce it.

There will be a prize.

p.s. I had thought about naming her Sissy B in hopes that one morning I would open the garage and there would be a bunch of mini bikes cruising around her. But then again, I don't want something that tempermental.

BAD MOVIES, LAME BIKES AND A LONELY FATHER'S DAY

2008-06-16T06:44:00.004-06:00

Aspen left with her mom for the summer yesterday. Aspen was crying as they drove off.

What does it say about me as a person that the first thing I did when I went back into the house was to shut the AC vents in her room and close her door so as to conserve energy? Was that heartless?

Looked at 2 bikes yesterday, a '93 Ninja and a '98 Nighthawk. I hate the crotchrocket style ninja bikes but they are much more plentiful on the used market than the classic american street style bike. Unfortunately, both bikes needed more work to be road-ready than I was willing to put into it. So the search continues. I may look at another Nighthawk tonight.

Went to see The Happening last night. I am a huge M. Night Shyamalan fan. Yes, I loved The Village and even thought Lady in The Water was pretty good. So it was with great optimism and enthusiasm that I purchased a (hold on to your ass!...) $10!!! ticket for admittance! I can not believe how bland and forgetful this film was! I walked out of the theatre sad that the apparent genius behind The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable is on an elongated cerebral hiatus. The previews looked so promising too! Humanity having to deal with facing it's own extinction at the hands of a pissed off mother nature or one of her subordinates. A compelling and relevant topic in this day and age to be sure. It was stoic and featured infinite close ups on thoughtful and confused faces of the main characters which worked as a contrast to what one may expect in a 'end of days' themed movie. But where was the suspense? Where was the revelation halfway through that makes you re-evaluate all that you had seen up to that point? What was with the extended focus on the crazy lady when she had nothing to do with the plot? Why did Marky Mark continue to freak out about needing a moment to think when the scene ended without incident? And most importantly: Why the hell was the movie rated R if the main actress/temptress Zooey Deschanel didn't take her top off? Did you all see her in Elf as Elf's female elf friend?! Yum! I've got a candy cane for her I tell you what!

ps. an alternate closing statement there was " I'ld love to shake up her snow globes I tell you what!" I thought "...jingle her bells..." was a bit childish though.

At any rate... the movie sucked.

ALL ASHORE WHO'S GOING ASHORE!

2008-06-13T05:49:00.004-06:00

Due to a combination of the economy and a pending move to Colorado, it was time to sell The Sea Weeder.

The windfall resulting from the sale shall go to the purchase of a motorcycle in order to drastically cut what I'm spending on a daily basis in gas ($16+ @ five days a week = OMFG! - and that's at the current price of gas, the savings go up when you factor in the likely $6/gallon that will be here before winter).

I am well aware that considering my safety record on a simple mountain bicycle that climbing aboard a motorized 2 wheeler capable of speeds a bit faster than what I can pedal that this may not be the smartest idea for my bones, but desperate times call for insane measures.

When the right gas sipping vehicle is found, you all will be the first to know. Anyone want to volunteer to be the first rider when I take her out?

MORE BELLY-ACHING

2008-06-06T19:46:00.003-06:00

Had a follow-up with the orthopedic doc on Wednesday. He says the collar bone that now sticks up will probably always protrude to some degree or another. That kind of sucks but as long as it gets back to 100% functionality then I won't complain. I start physical therapy next Wednesday. So maybe there will be some good pics of me working out with 1/2 lb weights or doing water-arobics with the stroke recoverers or something. In fact I can now see a war veteran with has hands blown off beating me in ping pong... or something to that effect.
Aspen has now graduated to the 4th grade. She has horse camp for a week then is off to AZ for the summer.
We hired a new guy at work last week. Today he is supposed to come into the office at noon. By 1:30 there is no word from him so the boss calls. He says he had to help his sister move and would be in a bit later. He never showed up.
This guy is certainly looking to be dismissed and collect unemployment, right? No one expecting or hoping to keep their job would think this was acceptable behavior, right?

I'LL SIT ON THE SIDELINES FOR THIS ONE

2008-06-01T19:33:00.002-06:00

Aspen asked what was with all the armadillo pics on The Nut recently. I tells her that a blogfriend is "not feeling well" and I was throwing the rodent pics up with every post to lift her spirits.
And I should have seen this coming, she asks if she can make an armadillo pic for her (I think she was trying to put off bedtime quite frankly - I could not have raised someone that thoughtful and considerate).
I tells her "sure!"
And behold, the result.
Aspen drew this in about 10 minutes after having only glimpsed the other dillo pics on here. I was pretty impressed.

OSAMA, HEZZBOLAH, HAROLD ICKES AND OTHER ENEMIES OF DEMOCRACY

2008-06-01T07:03:00.005-06:00

"I am stunned that we have the gall and chutzpa to substitute our judgement for 600,000 voters" was what Harold Ickes stated to the DNC yesterday when that organization decided to award the delegates of Florida and Michigan half a vote each.
Soooo many things wrong that sentiment and others held by the Clinton camp.

1- Bricotrout is stunned that Clinton and her supporters were in favor of not counting Florida's and Michigan's votes a few months ago when it seemed apparent she wouldn't need them to secure her nomination. Then flip flop on the issue once it became obvious she would not be able to win the nomination without them. Changing the rules in the middle of an election is counter to the spirit of democracy.

2- Bricotrout is stunned that The DNC has created and utilized the concept of 'super delegates' which are individual voters selected to have their vote worth not 1 simple vote as every other voter in the U.S. but rather worth 1 delegate vote which is worth closer to 10,000 or so individual votes. That itself is completely counter to the ideals of democracy. '1 person, 1 vote' is what 'democracy' means... nothing less. In short, Mr. Ickes, the entire concept of 'substituting the votes of many for the judgement of one' is what the Democratic Party has been about for years.

3- Bricotrout is stunned that Clinton and her supporters actually believe it is a fair concept to award the delegates of Michigan as their votes were cast when Obama and every other major candidate except Clinton had withdrawn their names from the voting ballot and had not campaigned there as they had all agreed to do weeks earlier! This one floors me!

Clearly the Clinton camp are not supporters of democracy.
Here's how I got there:
One thing that has always made my jaw tighten and my teeth grit is when I hear of underhanded tactics meant to suppress peoples votes, their will to vote or for whom their vote will be cast.
In 2004 people were registering to vote in front of a Walmart (what state/states I do not recall). It seems the people collecting the registration forms systematically disposed of all forms that had the Republican Party affiliation box checked. Hence, these diligent would-be voters were never registered and not allowed to vote in the end. Actions carried out by individuals who are not true believers of democracy.
It is now well known that in 2000 Karl Rove spearheaded a smear campaign of then Governor Bush's Republican opponent John McCain by spreading (if not flat out creating) the lie that McCain had fathered an illegitimate black child.
It was more important to The Bush camp that people vote based on untruths rather than truth itself (a philosophy that was repeated BTW in drumming up public support for an illegal war that has since caused the death of nearly 4000 U.S. soldiers). Such an attitude is in direct contrast to the ideal of 'democracy' itself.
One who supports democracy supports the idea of the elected official being nominated by having collected the most individual votes in a fair, level-playing-field election whereupon rules are established ahead of time and not changed halfway through the process; and whereupon as many able bodied voters are included the process as possible.
Clinton and all her tear-shedding, wailing, foot-stomping, tantrum-throwing, belly-aching supporters who want delegates issued to her, that she did not win in primaries where all candidates campaigned (again, as earlier agreed upon by all involved!), are not supporters of democracy at this stage.
One who supports democracy believes that it is in the union's best interest for it to be run by an individual who was elected by a majority of the voting public after a fair and honest campaign on the issues.
How can someone who supports democracy and wants their vote cast and counted, vote for someone who clearly wants to collect their votes in a process that they have manipulated to favor them in an unbalanced way?
That is not democracy and that voter is not a supporter of democracy.
Plain and simple!

GRASPING AT STRAWS

2008-05-30T06:25:00.007-06:00

Really? That's what The Republican party is going to go after? Scrambling for scraps like junk yard dogs McCain's campaign runners and spin doctors believe that because Obama referred to a great uncle as 'uncle' and confused the names of 2 concentration camps from over 60 years ago that he is somehow unqualified to be President?

Walk through this with me...

Your father's brother is your uncle, right?

Your great grandfather's brother would be your...?

Did you say 'great uncle'?

Okay, then what is your grandfather's brother to you?

That would be your 'grand uncle' yes?

Has anyone reading this ever used the term 'grand uncle' before?

Likely not.

Isn't the term 'uncle' commonly used as a generic relationship title for anyone who is an uncle to you?

I have always referred to my grandmother's sister as 'Aunt Edna' just as I have always called my mother's sister 'Aunt Shirley'.

I use the same title for 2 different generations.

Am I unqualified for public office?

Because of that fact I mean!

I don't refer to my second cousin twice removed as 'Second Cousin Twice Removed Shane'.

Nope, a simple 'Cousin Shane' has always seemed to be adequate and kept us quite comfortably knowledgeable about our true relationship ties.

I promise you this: When Obama is done with his first term, opportunist humorists/authors will be frustrated because they will have collected maybe at best 1 page of speech foibles he will have made over that time. As it stands now the book of 'Bushisms' has to be published in a series volumed I - IX which will have more passages than the old and new testaments combined.

McCain and The Republican's would do well to focus on important issues (the falling U.S. dollar, deteriorating U.S. relations/image around the globe, an energy policy that includes something other than drilling for oil in Alaska, an abysmal infrastructure, alarming illegal immigration numbers...) rather than if a candidate used the qualifier 'great' before the word 'uncle' when referring to a family member.

In case anyone in the Republican party hasn't figured it out, Obama is causing a stir because he speaks frankly about the issues rather than playing petty political games and spins. The people are clearly more interested in a candidate's intelligence, common sense, and moral fortitude than they are in one's experience or proper usage of adjectives (afterall, Bush lowered the bar pretty good on that one - and if Rumsfeld and Cheney are any indicator, experience doesn't mean shit).

NOW A JR. GIRLSCOUT

2008-05-27T19:46:00.007-06:00

Aspen bridged from Brownies to Jr. Girlscout this evening. Her brother, who graduates from HS next week, managed to find the time to attend the ceremonies.

Here is a pic of the bruise that didn't appear for 4 days after the 'mishap'. Also note the dislocation when the right arm is raised up (which does hurt like hell when I do that). The prescription of hydrocodone ran out a few days ago. The doc is hooking me up with another shipment coming in from south of the border tomorrow! Can't wait!

Today's dillar pic was brought to you by Tiffany aka Wandering Girl. Thanks Tiff!

10 UGLY RUMOR'S AS TO HOW MY SHOULDER REALLY GOT INJURED

2008-05-22T17:50:00.005-06:00

1- Didn't order the 'suggested' amount of 5 boxes of Girl Scout cookies this year.

2- Had a dream I was the meat in a Kate Hudson & Nicole Kidman sandwich and just woke up that way.

3- Battery in the TV remote was bad and it was easier for me to violently shake it than to get up and change them out.

4- Aspen challenged me to arm wrestling.

5- Got carried away during a karaoke rendition of 'It's Raining Men'.

6- Pushed things too far when trying to break my record of 4 push ups.

7-Couldn't contain myself when I realized American Idol was going to come down to David vs David.

8- An unfortunate origami mishap that I will never speak of publicly.

9- Shouted 'Over my dead body!' at a recent Obama campaign.

10- Didn't properly stretch before my weekly shaving of the nether regions.

BY POPULAR REQUEST...

2008-05-19T10:00:00.003-06:00

So it rests in a sling for today. This afternoon I see the orthopedic surgeon for what if anything is next. The bummer thing is that I can't even go kayaking in the meantime! I do everything with my right arm/hand... everything ladies!
I am proud to say that after the spill I actually got back on the bike and rode the last 1.5 miles out (total trail was 11 miles). Of course, at that time I didn't know anything other than my pride was really damaged.

STOOPID BIKE TRICKS STRIKE AGAIN

2008-05-18T15:37:00.002-06:00

Diagnosis:

Fractured R elbow.

Seperated R AC.

Bruised ribs.

Typing with only the left hand sucks!

More later when the Vicadin kicks in...

or maybe not.

p.s. 2006 Trek Fuel mtn bike for sale. $1700.00 new. $5.00 obo. will trade for common sense!

I'M SMARTER THAN THAT GUY

2008-05-16T16:31:00.003-06:00

Turns out 19 year old flight attendant Eder Rojas, working for Compass Airlines, did not like the flight route he was assigned on May 7th. So to protest he lit the paper towels in the plane's rear lavatory on fire to cause an emergency landing.
His plan was effective. And while noone was hurt by the 'stunt', as a result Mr. Rojas is looking at 20 years in federal prison.

Does that route suit you better, Eder?

HOW TO THROW UP QUICK LIKE

2008-05-14T19:04:00.002-06:00

If you're ever in the need to hurl in a real hurry, just do what I did...

mistake the bottle of Pepto Bismol for the bottle of Calamine Lotion.

Yep... that was a fun 15 minutes!

DADDY DID A DUMB THING

2008-05-12T06:17:00.004-06:00

Thursday evening Aspen began complaining about an upset stomach. By bedtime she had thrown up. She continued that into the wee hours. I kept her out of school Friday. By midday she was feeling much better and had an appetite again.

Come Saturday evening everything was back to normal so we went on with the plans to have her friend stay over.

What did I get them for dinner Saturday night?

Pepperoni pizza.

Big mistake!

Here's a simple algebraic equation for you: (tomato sauce + cheese + greasy meat) upset stomach / time since last hurl = huge mess

Come 3am Aspen left her friend and came into my bed complaining again. I didn't think much of it. By 3:15 I am taking the sheets and comforters off my bed and tossing them on the porch as Aspen is in the shower washing regurgitated italian cuisine out of her hair.

Her friend went home in the morning and Aspen stomach continued to fill trashbags throughout the day. By 3pm I was getting concerned about possible dehydration. But she managed to finally keep some Pepto Bismol down and by 8pm she had managed some chicken soup and toast.

She went to school this morning feeling much better and hungrier than I had ever seen her. I warned her about what not to eat at lunch today.

Tops on that list was pepperoni pizza.

i had no idea these things climbed trees!

3 WEEKS OF SCHOOL LEFT

2008-05-09T06:40:00.004-06:00

Aspen's teacher this year is the most inept I have ever had to deal with. She goes to a blue ribbon school (only 100 or so in the country) with the absolute best resources, student body, committed PTA and dedicated community. Yet the teacher we got stuck with this year seems to be as indifferent as they come. Keep in mind I was a grade school teacher before I became a father so I am speaking with a bit of knowledge on the subject.

A good teacher is able to recognize and work with the strengths and weaknesses of his/her students.

For example, Aspen's strength is reading. She is in 3rd grade but is reading at a 6.5 grade level. Her weakness is organization. She is fairly scatterbrained when it comes to remembering where she put assignments, to turn them in, when they are due, bringing materials from her main class to her GT class, etc.

On the nationalized tests she scores higher than the average kid in her district which scores higher than the national average itself. So she is no dim bulb by any means. But her class grades suffer because of her teacher's theoretical practices that make little sense and are endorsed by no teaching school of thought that I am aware of.

Let me illustrate: I used to volunteer every Wednesday in the class with little things to free up the teacher's time. I eventually became involved in designing the yearbook so my class volunteer time dropped off. But while I was logging class volunteer hours I noticed that the desks were in a different formation and Aspen (as well as all students) were always sitting in different locations and next to different kids than the week before.

The other practice I observed was that the teacher would hand out a packet and have the kids work on it for a few minutes then have them put it away then work on a something else for a while then go back to the packet later. This process repeats at least 2 or 3 times with each packet and often there is 3 - 4 packets the students are working on at a time! This, rather than simply giving the kids a solid 30 minutes to complete a packet in one sitting!

The results of such un-thought-out processes are umpteen opportunities for the students to misplace, get distracted from and lose trains of thought on the lessons. As for the constant classroom rearrangements, this keeps students from getting comfortable and familiar with their surroundings allowing them to perform better. There is no school of thought that promotes such a chaotic and random classroom setting.

Aspen more or less aces every question she answers on any test or packet. The problem is that frequently she only answers about 3/4 to as little as 1/2 of the questions because she runs out of time due to easily being distracted (not the teacher's fault per-se) and because she always has trouble relocating her packet after it was put away, because the teacher inexplicably moves the kids onto something else for a while (the teacher's fault per-se).

My point is that all of the students in her class would be accomplishing more by a more logically and smoothly run classroom with fewer distractions and interruptions throughout the day.

Find a seating chart for the classroom where the children do well and leave it that way! This is not an episode of Pimp My Classroom!

And when you hand out an assignment, give them an opportunity to do it! Have a game plan in place for the day where the kids aren't playing musical papers!

Oh yeah... enjoy the armadillo pics from here on out.

TESTING 1,2,3

2008-05-06T08:46:00.002-06:00

just seeing if this gets a response. sorry for the interuption everyone. carry on.

WOW! LOOK AT ALL THAT FAT!

2008-05-05T13:37:00.002-06:00

No not on me, nor on some dame. Nope, the fat I see these days is on the labels I'm looking at.
Honestly, I feel like I have been invited into a private club. A club whereupon your membership allows you to relate to all commercials that pitch a low fat product (drink, cereal, snack, etc); all commercials that try to sell you a cholesterol blocking drug; and all commercials that insist you need to do something other than where your sorry ass has gotten you in life up to this point.
In attempts to get my triglycerides cut in half I have thrown out nearly every snack food in the cupboards. No more wheat thins. Adios Orville Redenbacher. See ya cashews. Take a hike Triscuits. And get the fuck outta here Pringles (seriously, have you seen the calories from fat content on a serving of those?!). I also tossed away my brand of peanut butter, switched from butter to margarine, layed off cheese, put the rum away, and am now drinking sugar free flavored water.
Additionally I now down 2 Omega-3 pills a day (note: Omega-3 acids do not come from fish. While most Omega-3 pills are made of fish oil, this is because Omega-3's come from algae which fish eat. Vegan pills made of cultured algae are available for essentially the same price if you look around) as well as some kind of Panthenine supplement.
Furthermore (and you know I'm taking things seriously if there is a 'furthermore' after the 'additionally'), I am on the treadmill for 2 miles a night AND I have the readout set to calories burned rather than time or miles. Now that's dedication!
I look forward to going back in for more blood work in 10 weeks after refusing to take the doc's prescription of whichever pharmaceutical whose rep was offering the best incentives this month and having him see my numbers perfectly in line!
And for what it's worth: I seem to have already dropped 5 pounds (and weight wasn't my issue at all).

CONCERT MANIA

2008-04-30T12:53:00.005-06:00

Sunday Miguel, his best gal and I went to see The Boss. Unfortunately I only brought the camera phone along so I aint got no pics of it nohow. Good show though. Bruce is the quintessential showman. Aspen's brother stayed at my place and watched her. This was his first time ever babysitting her believe it or not.

Then last night Aspen and I traveled to Margaritaville. This was her second Buffett show. The last time he was here, 2 years ago, it poured and we had lawn seats. So this time I shelled out the extra bucks for seat seats. In fact by the end of the show we had wormed our way up to 5th row. Aspen managed to stay awake for the whole show but zonked out immediately upon getting in the car.

Behold, pics!

ps. in case you missed it: a few weeks ago southpark took the opportunity to make fun of jimmy buffett and his song 'cheeseburger in paradise'. always the humorist, jimmy showed scenes from that episode on the big screen as he played hiss hallmark song. aspen thought that was hysterical. she is not allowed to watch southpark but she knows it is a show that i watch which is too grown up for her. so she got to see a minute of it and there was nothing i could do.

WTF!ing AWAY AGAIN IN MARGARITAVILLE

2008-04-28T15:59:00.003-06:00

Some months ago I made a subconscious decision to not bother posting anything political.
It's not even really worth going into why. All I have to say on such subjects is so elementary and basic that my opinions shouldn't enlighten anybody. I'm no investigative reporter so it's not as if I report or editorialize on anything that isn't seen in any national paper or show.
But I wanted to bring this up not because it boils my blood (if I posted on everything political that irked me I would have nothing else to do but post).
I was looking up Jimmy Buffett's set lists from this tour to see what might be in store for Aspen and me tomorrow (pictures coming!) when I noticed that Jimmy Buffett had played a private show on February 4th.
No big deal right? Sure wish I was in a position where I could hire him out every time I went to the pool myself. If you're going to have someone play a private party for you, J.B.'s the one to call all right.
Then I noticed where the party was... Nassau, Bahamas.
Then I noticed who the party was for...
The Wells Fargo Home Mortgage Sales Conference
Bear Sterns (another home mortgage bank) recently got a nice Federal Govt bail out for having loaned out billions of dollars in sub prime loans to people who couldn't afford it and shouldn't have been given the loans in the first place.
Wells Fargo is likely not far behind if the foreclosure rates continue to rise as they are.
Yet, their annual conference was just held in The Bahamas with a not-inexpensive musician hired as the entertainment.
The mistakes in judgement coupled by an insatiable greed by corporate big wigs and mortgage brokers has created an unprecedented financial debacle in this country that will take more than a decade to recover from.*
Yet, these people are rewarding themselves with a posh corporate lifestyle whose cost will eventually fall onto the shoulders of you and me.
I wonder who the entertainment was at the Bear Sterns annual home mortgage sales conference?

*gas prices are not rising because OPEC is raising the cost of a barrel of oil. they are rising because the dollar is deflating against the euro every day. this is in large part because our govt is quick to hand out tax breaks and bail outs to every campaign donating corporation on the block. money our govt simply does not have. the more money we print, the less it's worth.
soon, nobody will be able to afford that cheeseburger in paradise... or anywhere else for that matter.

CAN I HAVE A FRIED DONUT WITH MY CHILIDOG SUNDAY PLEASE?

2008-04-26T19:22:00.006-06:00

A new chapter has begun in the world of Bricotrout. A chapter of reading and analyzing and inspecting and comparing those funny little (seemingly useless) grid charts that appear on the side of package of edibleness in this great country.

I'm referring to my having to now carefully consider which brands of food I consume in order to keep my counts where they belong.

Or more accurately, to get them to where they belong.

You see, my blood tests came back yesterday and now a grocery store trip that used to take me 10 minutes now takes fifty!

Having not eaten meat (except on a very rare occasion) for 20 years come this December, not having any sweet tooth to speak of, having zero liking for beer and never ever eating at any fast food joint, I always figured I was left to my own devices on what to feed myself without any real consequences healthwise.

But my blood tests (if they are indeed 'mine') beg to differ.

Despite my healthy nutritional leanings it turns out my bad cholesterol level is 25 points to high, my good cholesterol level is 8 points too low and my triglycerides count is through the roof.

Now I ask you, how is one supposed to watch their triglycerides when the nutrition info on food wrappers doesn't even list the daily percentage of triglycerides?!

So now, instead of just grabbing the package of Twinkies (er, I mean... granola) with the prettiest packaging and/or cheapest per unit cost, I am now forced to stop and read the micro print of each can and bag.

And seeing that the total fat count on a jar of peanut butter is only 1gram more than the fat count on a jar of peanut butter that has 'fat free' and 'organic' and 'zero trans fat' all written on the label I am truly at a loss to decipher if that 1gram less of total fat is really worth the extra $3.78 I gotta shell out. Why should one pay more for the grainy textured recycled paper label item rather than the full color high gloss label? At least that one stays fresh until the Mayan calendar ends in 2012, rather than a mere 4 weeks like the 'healthy' stuff.

Basically my technique in the end came down to not the item's cost, how bright and tasty the label or brand name was, what shelf tier it sat on (the one at arm level always got my vote in the past - to be honest it wasn't until last year that I realized there even were other levels for the food to sit on) or even if it comes with a secret toy surprise in the back.

No, instead I realized the best method to picking the healthy food was to look at the item's ingredients. Whichever of the 2 contending brand items made it to the final round (see above for qualifications that got it into the final round in the first place) that had the longest most unpronounceable most unrecognizable and least appetizing ingredient in it's list was placed back on the shelf having revealed itself to be the impostor and not the truly healthy choice.

And did anyone out there ever know that 5 rum and cokes each night has about the same effect on a waist line as does a 6 pack of beer?

This stuff is complicated!

TEN THINGS THAT WERE OVERHEARD IN MY HEAD DURING MY PROCTOLOGIST EXAM

2008-04-24T11:28:00.004-06:00

Yea! It's been nearly 6 months since a Ten Things post...
And isn't this just such an appropriate topic for it.
So here's what ran through my mind or were uttered into the ear over my shoulder as this now annual exam becomes a part of my life.

1. Shouldn't I be the one getting paid for this?
2. Wait a minute, why are both his hands on my shoulders?
3. I don't get what Sissy B sees in this... I really don't.
4. Here's a pic for my upcoming HNT post!
5. What does this have to do with my having a sore throat?
6. Woa! You trying to check out my upper colon there too doc?
7. If you find Kalani's vibe in there she needs it back please.
8. Hey doc, On your diploma up there... where exactly is The University of ww.freeproctologydegrees.com?
9. Can I have those gloves when you're done? I wanna play a joke on a coworker.
10. I put on my best cologne for this?

ASPEN MEETS HER FUTURE BABY SIBLING'S MAMA

2008-04-19T08:27:00.004-06:00

Last night I took Aspen to see a Susan Tedeschi concert. She did fall asleep about 1/2 way through but was eager to meet her after the show.

This being the second time I was able to meet her, I am very impressed with how down to earth and sociable she is with her fan base. She will stay on stage after the show until she has chatted with everyone who wants an autograph or picture no matter how long that may take.

Combine that and her natural beauty with vocal and guitar skills second to none and Susan may very well be the ideal mate. Of course... Kate Hudson is anxious to have another child and what with Owen Wison having blown that gig, Susan may still have a bit of competition.

I'll keep you all posted on which one of those comes to fruition.

SPRING BREAK IN THE KEYS

2008-04-11T18:27:00.008-06:00

Aspen and Daddy (Bricotrout) took off for a week just to try and recall the whole year...

Sorry, still full of Jimmy Buffett lyrics after being in the keys for spring break...

We spent the last week on Sanibel poking around J.N. 'Ding' Darling Nature reserve. We biked, cruised, walked and kayaked our way around all kinds of cool greenery and their accompanying wildlife. We were visited by dolphins just a few feet off the starboard bow of the kayak. Aspen was again greeted by a younger dolphin while in waist high water only some 15-20 ft away. We witnessed mating manatees and stalking gators and just about every kind of bird mother nature thought to create.

Behold: Some of the pics from this last week...

Taking an eco tour through a mangrove forest in the nature reserve.

Posing near a cool tree of which I can not recall the name.

Enjoying the calm gulf waters as a gull and sailboat pass by.

The family resting after a day of shelling.

Detail of a butterfly (10megapixel cameras are the single greatest invention of the 21st century thus far - click on pic for full resolution).

A TRUE LEADER

2008-04-03T08:21:00.003-06:00

Forget Hillary! Chelsea has officially got my vote!

LOOKING FOR COMMENTS

2008-04-01T19:58:00.002-06:00

COLORADO vs CAROLINA

2008-03-21T05:58:00.004-06:00

I have lived in The Carolinas for the last 10 years. I am not a southern boy by any stretch but I will say that the climate and geography has grown on me over time (thank god the accent and backwoods outlook hasn't!). And while Aspen may be named after and was conceived in The Rockies, she has never known anything other than the sun and surf of the lakes and hills of The Blue Ridge region.

Yet it is time for me to weigh in on moving back to my home of colorful Colorado.

There is alot to love about this here Piedmont area. I much more prefer an afternoon of lounging and drinking on a nicely anchored pontoon boat than hiking a vertical trail while keeping an eye out for a black bear or mountain lion. I definately favor 9 months of the year where the outside 7am temp is 65 degrees as opposed to that being the mid afternoon high for the month of July alone. I certainly have grown accustomed to to seeing my favorite artists (Buffett, Black Crowes, Allman Brothers, et al) show up regularly within a 20 minute drive. And if I never see another flake of snow again it would be too soon!

Then there would be the move for Aspen. I had to change elementary schools twice in my day. Uprooting myself from my friends and familiar surroundings was the most difficult times of my life. I can look back on that now and see how my self confidence took a huge dive and I never fully recovered from the moves. I certainly would never want Aspen to go through such a hard time uneccessarily. But she seems to do much better than I did with making friends and adapting to new settings so I may be projecting my fears onto her, something I have made every effort to never do.

Finally there is the headache of the move itself. Securing new digs, the cost of the move, finding a new job (after 8 years of a Bush economy? Ha!), something I do not look forward to.

But then there's the benefits: Mainly, my mother. She lives to be a grandmother yet has spent less than 100 days with her grandaughter up to this point because of the distance. She would definately be a wonderful influence on Aspen. She is highly cultured, extremely achieved and would be able to smooth out any rough edges I may have overlooked in raising my daughter (No elbows on the table when eating? Yep, I forgot to instill that one for sure!). Of course Red Rocks can't be beat for seeing a show even though it would be a few hours away. And it's been years since I attended a Bronco's or Rockies game! And there are mountain biking trails a plenty out there for a real workout. Oh! And no more allergies! That's a serious bonus! And I have a disc golf partner in Colorado (for those 1 or 2 days when it's actually warm enough to throw)! We haven't tossed together since our youth.

But basically the move would be for mom and Aspen. I mean, if neither of them were in the picture I would either stay where I was or move to Belize for the final days on Earth (The Mayan Calander people, look it up!).

At any rate, that's what's going on up in the ole cabezza de Brico. Decisions, decisions.

FINS TO THE LEFT!... FINS TO THE RIGHT!...

2008-03-17T10:14:00.006-06:00

Boy! THAT was a long nap. Apologies to OCL, Bug, et al. I really just couldn't be bothered as of late.
You want the good news first or the bad news?
The bad? Okay...
Politics:
I am disappointed beyond words at Obama. Surely by now you have heard the inflammatory 'sermons' of his long time pastor that are making the news. Obama claims he was never at the service when such anti-U.S. and racially charged statements were being made and that he was, until a few months ago, unaware of such rhetoric coming from his spiritual advisor and member of his campaign. If that is true (which is very hard to believe) then why didn't he issue rejection statements of such propaganda and dismiss his longtime pastor from his campaign staff months ago when he learned of the statements? Instead, he waited until he was obligated to do something to save face when video footage of the speeches made national news.
I won't even go into all the ways the rhetoric was simply ignorant, inaccurate and just plain hateful. But it is a tough pill to swallow that Obama had no idea of what the racial and political leanings were of a man he has looked up to as his mentor for the last 20 years. And if he truly was in the dark on his minister's views then surely that speaks volumes on Barack's intuition if not his overall perceptiveness and judge of character.
If I'm wrong here, someone feel free to call me out.
The second 'bad news' from the realm of politics is that The Bush Administration is being sued by an environmental group (I know, real shocker right?) over missing repeated deadlines in deciding whether or not to put the polar bear on the endangered species list. What is fairly apparent is that the delays are a deliberate tactic in ensuring that certain drilling for oil contracts in the region between the fed govt and energy companies go through. If the polar bear was to have been listed as endangered on schedule then the drilling contracts could not get passed with such ease. It is another case of the current administration dictating it's desires to branches of the government that are supposed to be free from political partisanship.
As we reported at The Nut months ago, the previous Surgeon General to Bush testified of the enormous pressure he was under to make reports say what Bush wanted them to say rather than what was medically evident. The previous Attorney General obviously bent over backwards for his friend and Commander in Chief despite how his job was defined in The Constitution (a document that is his job to enforce).
So too now is the Department of Fish and Wildlife going directly against the purpose of it's being established in the first place in order to further a political agenda of a sitting administration. Rather than asking these departments to carry out their assigned tasks to the best of their unrestricted abilities, they are being maneuvered and treated like pawns in a larger scheme of serving ulterior motives.
While all the remaining candidates have their share of competence and experience, I find myself once again looking to hand my vote to Ralph Nadar. Obviously he would never get elected and if he did he would likely never get any bill passed by either The Senate or House. Still, one could count on him breaking out the veto stamp and keeping out-of-control spending from taking place, and he would never try to supersede his constitutional powers as we have seen done ad nauseum for the last 8 years.
Had enough of all that?
Okay then... the good news:
Jimmy Buffett coming on April 29th!
Yep... that's the good part, got me and Aspen and her brother his gf tickets for the ride!
The bad part is (ready for more bad news?) lawn tix were $30. EVERY OTHER ticket in the venue was $130!!!! Whether you were 1st row or last row, you shelled out $130 clams! Plus $15 'convenience charge'.
This my friends is the result of what seems to be the largest monopoly in the United States. Ticket Master (and their sister corp Live Nation) have a stranglehold on not just the ticket issuing business but also the entire arena size venue event production business! A large audience attracting band has no way of reserving a venue without going through Live Nation. All large venues are also locked in contracts with Ticket Master. Therefor no band or event performing at most any of your 20,000 seats or larger venues has any say in what the consumer is going to pay for a ticket to their event.
Pearl jam tried to fight this in the courts a few years ago and finally decided that the amount of money Ticket Master had at their disposal for legal costs dwarfed their funds and had to call off the fight.
100 and fifty fucking dollars?! For row 70?
The revolution is coming people! Which side will you be on?
Finally ('cause I know you guys really come here for Aspen stories - so I put it here at the end making you have to work for it!) a little Aspen Quote...
"Daddy, I hope I'm with you for the rest of my life"
...pause...
"Well... for the rest of your life anyway."

Hmmm, I can make sure they end at the same time you know!

ASPEN QUOTE #38

2008-02-27T07:28:00.004-07:00

This morning, while driving Aspen to school, we stopped the car to watch a hawk near the road going after a mouse.

After continuing on we observed a gaggle of Canadian Geese only some 20 yards or so down the path. An easy snack for the hawk.

I ponder out loud why our befriended bird of prey didn't try to catch one of the geese instead of a mere mouse.

Aspen responded in perfect timing...

"Maybe he didn't want to go on a wild goose chase."

Yea!! Finally an Aspen quote that's not at my expense!

INTRO TO INSIGHT 101

2008-02-16T19:16:00.005-07:00

It's been a while since I got personal at all here at The Nut. Hmmm, been a while since I been funny too... I'll have to look into that.

Lately it's been on my mind more and more about what kind of relationship Aspen will end up in as she matures.

I suppose this comes from her mother never being able to figure out what makes a working relationship despite her multiple efforts and my apparently not having a huge desire to try anymore to find one for myself.

I have heard, and it makes sense to me, that a person looks to be a partner in a relationship that functions similarly to that of their parents'. Well, seeing that Aspen watches her dad day in and day out and sees no relationship in action... where does that leave her to learn from roll models?

My only conclusion is that she will look to a partner to treat her along the lines of how her dad treated her.

And maybe I'm way off base there, I dunno. Buddha help her if I am!

Anyhoo, bearing this in mind, I have begun to monitor how I 'discipline' and 'lecture' and teach her.

Perhaps it is no longer my place to be the 'authoritarian' and 'elder' whose rules and words are always beyond question and scrutinizing. If her main experience in a relationship with a male, even though it is her daddy, is of a 'what he says goes and that's the end of it' routine, isn't that what she is going to expect when she enters what is supposed to be a 50/50 equal say type of adult relationship?

If she finds comfort and familiartity with her relationship with her father for all those years, and that relationship has always been that 'daddy knows best' and 'the man of the house makes the rules for Aspen to follow', wouldn't it make sense that she will seek comfort in the same type of relationship with a boy when time comes?

Certainly there is a balance to seek. But should I always have the final say in what goes on involving her life? At what point do I let down the guard and let her question and even stand up and say 'You're out of line this time.' (as I will certainly expect her do in her own relationships years from now) and not get steamed that she is resisting my better judgement and authority?

At what parts of the day am I emulating how a parent teaches and protects his child and at what points am I teaching her how she should be treated by a 'partner'? I know 'respect' is a key word for both parts, but there is more to it than that.

Is there a proper answer for this quandry? Is there a book by a wise and insightful father who has spent his time as a single father of a fledgling woman?

ASPEN QUOTE #37

2008-02-12T07:04:00.000-07:00

"Dad, how do you spell 'maniac'?"

"m.a.n..."

"That figures!"

I think I spelled your name with one too few 's's on your birth certificate!